Venting I broke up with my girlfriend.

[reiko1337]

I broke up with my girlfriend of 4 months despite the relationship being stable. Well, it was, until recently when I relapsed into addiction and I don't want to hurt her even more. We've had fights because I'm paranoid she never loved me, and she's scared I'm no longer in love with her. But I do love her truly, but unfortunately as someone with BPD, I split on her. My love for her suddenly flipped and I hate it. I even promised on trying to stay for her and I said I'd marry her one day, but I decided to let her go for the best. And this way, it's easier to ctb without having to worry about her. I know it will still hurt her, but at least I get a peace of mind. At least I won't hurt her anymore, I'm more than ready to ctb, I just need to wait until the day.

 

[looking_for_peace]

as someone who did the same, I sympathize. bpd and addiction are two insanely difficult things to live with, and sadly, it is only too easy to hurt the people around us.

 

[FuneralCry]

I certainly think that the less people one is leaving behind, it's easier to ctb. But anyway I wish you the best and I hope that when the time is right for you to leave you find freedom from your suffering.

 

[SilentSadness]

It's never a good thing to depend on others as they can always betray or turn away from you, anyway I hope your situation improves and your future is peaceful.