I am unlovable

[FireFox]

I am 27 and I feel like a failure of a woman because I failed to get a man of my own. Other women I grew up now are married or have relationships something so natural other women get right I keep getting wrong. I can't stop crying. I feel so broken. I am a virgin as well. It's a reason why I want to kill myself because I am tired of being that girl or woman who never ever gets picked. There is something wrong with me something deeper and darker wrong with me always being the girl now woman who never gets picked. I have severe psychological issues and insecurities from never being chosen.

All my life I have known male rejection even my own father didn't want me. It absolutely hurts so much I have never been a man's number 1 choice and never had a man see me as special which is something other women have in their lives. I have never been someone's crush, never been someone's girlfriend.

When I was in secondary school the girls at school were getting boyfriends or male attention while the boys at school regularly builled me for being the werid quirky girl who struggled to fit in at school. I experienced my friends in secondary school no longer hanging out with me once they got a boyfriend I even experienced similar at university. The women in my law class that I was friends with all they talked about was their boyfriends and made me feel left out of the group. I take an interest in the guys I like and make ALL the effort to get to know them and show geniuene interest in them but guys never do the same for me. I am NEVER EVER enough its always rejection, rejection and rejection

Over the summer I decided to try again with men because I was ready to move on from the 55 year old man I was so deeply in love with. The new guy I liked is 30 years old, he has a lot of issues due to past abusive relationships with women and has suffered cancer in the past but still I liked him. One of the reasons why he decided to reject me was because he doesn't like the fact I go church. He is an anti Thiest.

I told him I will never ever force my religion on him and I respect people's beliefs. My religion is my private business. I accepted him for who he is but for him religion is a redline. This was the same man who was complaining to me about women never choosing him and how he wants a relationship more than anything. I was the one who asked him out, suggested ideas for going out, I made clear I liked him and put myself on a plate but still he rejects me. The man had a lot of insecurities so many of them. He even questioned my attraction to him when I told him already I found him handsome because of his red hair and amazing dark brown eyes. He had problems with my very small height his exes were much taller than me.

Why can't someone love me, why can't someone choose me. I am tired of always being the woman who never gets picked. Honestly I feel there like there is no one for me and I truly am unlovable.

 

[Soph]

The truth is life always will be fighting and focus on focusing just in yourself, for now relax, one day you will find your partner. Just don't shut down ur heart bc rn must be someone to u out there.

 

[FireFox]

The truth is life always will be fighting and focus on focusing just in yourself, for now relax, one day you will find your partner. Just don't shut down ur heart bc rn must be someone to u out there.

@Soph All my life I have known male rejection and being humiliated by men just seeing everyone else I grew up with now settled with spouses, kids and a career I feel like an enormous failure.

Being single all my life has now driven me to insanity. I can't cope anymore

At school the boys regularly builled and terrorised me while nicer to the other girls. I had confidence to talk to people and participated in school class activities but people at school thought I was the werid girl. I even experienced boys at school pretending to be interested in me as part of a laugh with their friends. I was that girl who never had a boy geniuenely like her, never got asked out to prom and never someone's first girlfriend.

Adulthood too men humiliate me or use me as a rebound option. I have met men when they are no longer together with their with girlfriend the man hangs around me a lot and later dumps me after reunites with his ex. Its the worst because I really invest my time in a man people don't understand how much effort i make to show a man I really care and actually want to make the man happy. No man ever sees how hard I try.

 

[Soph]

@Soph All my life I have known male rejection and being humiliated by men just seeing everyone else I grew up with now settled with spouses, kids and a career I feel like an enormous failure.

Being single all my life has now driven me to insanity. I can't cope anymore

At school the boys regularly builled and terrorised me while nicer to the other girls. I had confidence to talk to people and participated in school class activities but people at school thought I was the werid girl. I even experienced boys at school pretending to be interested in me as part of a laugh with their friends. I was that girl who never had a boy geniuenely like her, never got asked out to prom and never someone's first girlfriend.

Adulthood too men humiliate me or use me as a rebound option. I have met men when they are no longer together with their with girlfriend the man hangs around me a lot and later dumps me after reunites with his ex. Its the worst because I really invest my time in a man people don't understand how much effort i make to show a man I really care and actually want to make the man happy. No man ever sees how hard I

I'll be honest you survived, i'm proud and even if the brain says that we need someone don't let that plant in, i'm 27 and had a path of life similar, you aren't a failure and who says that to u should fall from a cliff. Trust me you will find ur happy space, when lonelyness hits me I embrace my passions, makes me remenber my brain that I don't need another person to get the feeling of being need. That fear of being single is natural everyone wants to feel loved but don't let that drown u, if we stress too much about something we can't control that destroy us from the inside slowly. A big hug I hope you are safe from those people nowadays

 

[bqhh]

@Soph All my life I have known male rejection and being humiliated by men just seeing everyone else I grew up with now settled with spouses, kids and a career I feel like an enormous failure.

Being single all my life has now driven me to insanity. I can't cope anymore

At school the boys regularly builled and terrorised me while nicer to the other girls. I had confidence to talk to people and participated in school class activities but people at school thought I was the werid girl. I even experienced boys at school pretending to be interested in me as part of a laugh with their friends. I was that girl who never had a boy geniuenely like her, never got asked out to prom and never someone's first girlfriend.

Adulthood too men humiliate me or use me as a rebound option. I have met men when they are no longer together with their with girlfriend the man hangs around me a lot and later dumps me after reunites with his ex. Its the worst because I really invest my time in a man people don't understand how much effort i make to show a man I really care and actually want to make the man happy. No man ever sees how hard I try.

I understand this loney feeling as well, I'm 30 and have never been in a relationship with a female. Probably similar circumstances to yours, It can make life feel devoid of purpose and or pleasure

 

[Just_Another_Person]

First, you are not a failure. Being a woman is much more than having a man. And there is nothing wrong about being virgin, regardless of your age.

Second, I'm really sorry about how school was cruel to you, I can relate and no one deserves that. And just because people thought you were "weird", doesn't mean you are. Tbh most of the people in my school were disgusting, but I only realized it near the end of my 3rd year in High School.

Third, when "friends" put you aside for they SOs, they aren't really friends. One thing is spending less time with you, but putting you aside is not okay.

Fourth, based on what you said, I really think you should slow down when you get interested in someone, this way you will deal better with your feelings and also not gonna "scare" the person or worse, letting the person control you.

Without context it is hard to provide some guidance, but generally speaking, I think it is easier to find someone in larger cities than small ones. More people on dating apps, more diversity of personalities and thoughts, less "gossip".

And I need to tell you something you probably not gonna like hearing: you need to value yourself. The anti theist guy was totally rude and a jerk, he didn't show any respect for you at all.

Maybe try a casual thing and then a serious one.

I wish you all the best.

 

[sancta-simplicitas]

I'm so sorry to read that you're in so much pain it's not your fault and I very much doubt that you're unlovable, you just got a shit start in life. Rejection from a parent hurts so much and affects you for the rest of your life.

Just a thought, I hope this doesn't come off as invalidating. But could it be possible that you're subconsciously attracted to men who you know are going to reject you in the same way that your father did? That is a very real phenomena with early attachment disruptions known as "repetition compulsion", there are different hypothesis as to why it happens but I think the most common explanation is that the psyche is trying to heal by recreating the original trauma and finally "win" over it by making the unavaliable person finally love you. Once heard someone say that "childhood traumatization is constantly trying to make unavaliable people love you" and I think there is something to it.

Personally, I've realized it's exactly like that. Unfortunately I realized it way too late. I grew up with a traumatized mother who's immature, emotionally abusive and with a major addiction personality. As an adult I've been drawn to traumatized women who's immature, abusive and addicted to various things. It's like my body knowns before I even talk to them. The more times I've dated and been abused and discarded by one, the more attractive those qualities get.

 

[FireFox]

First, you are not a failure. Being a woman is much more than having a man. And there is nothing wrong about being virgin, regardless of your age.

Second, I'm really sorry about how school was cruel to you, I can relate and no one deserves that. And just because people thought you were "weird", doesn't mean you are. Tbh most of the people in my school were disgusting, but I only realized it near the end of my 3rd year in High School.

Third, when "friends" put you aside for they SOs, they aren't really friends. One thing is spending less time with you, but putting you aside is not okay.

Fourth, based on what you said, I really think you should slow down when you get interested in someone, this way you will deal better with your feelings and also not gonna "scare" the person or worse, letting the person control you.

Without context it is hard to provide some guidance, but generally speaking, I think it is easier to find someone in larger cities than small ones. More people on dating apps, more diversity of personalities and thoughts, less "gossip".

And I need to tell you something you probably not gonna like hearing: you need to value yourself. The anti theist guy was totally rude and a jerk, he didn't show any respect for you at all.

Maybe try a casual thing and then a serious one.

I wish you all the best.

@Just_Another_Person Everyday I feel like unluckiest woman in the world being rejected by the Anti-Thiest and I don't think I will meet another man more fun and better than him and more importantly didn't judge me for being a hemp user. He spent his life travelling around the world due to his parents job, we are both into hemp/CBD because we were both tired of being in pain in our lives and wanted relief, politics our views were very similar and he was so fun to be around.

I feel like the unluckiest woman in the world being rejected again. In my head if I get rejected it feels so intense and the worst thing ever

The guy had many so issues, insecurities and toxic traits.

●He once gave me the slient treatment for 2 whole weeks. It was painful I was begging for forgiveness just so he talk to me again. Afterwards I had to walk on egg shells because I feared he would do it to me again.

● When it came to my height his comments were very hurtful. He pointed on multiple occasions how "Tiny" I am compared to him. He mentioned how his exes were not as small as me. He questioned how someone small like me can be attracted to man big as him. I told him I don't care about his height because I am staring above his face and I like what I see but he still pointed out how he is taller than me.

I was getting fed up of him having a problem with my small height so I tried to find out why he has a problem with my height. So I asked him the following question" if we were to have sex are you scared of breaking my bones and me going to A&E[hospital]"

The man response was " yes - that was one of my initial fears " meeting you

He was concerned about sex while I made the effort to really know him asking questions about what he likes, dislikes and his hopes and dreams. I make the effort

● No matter how transparent I was he complained I was " hard to read"

Despite all his issues, insecurities I liked him for who he was and I don't think a better man for me exists. I have gone through too much rejection throughout my life as a result i do feel like any man is better than being rejected.

 

[JoysoftheEmptiness]

You sound like a lovely lady, and I don't understand why no-one wants you, religion is a personal thing, I sort of think of it as a relationship with the divine, it shouldn't be a barrier to a relationship, although saying that, I'm contradicting 2 Corinthians 6:14. My last girlfriend, her funeral was yesterday, was atheist, while I'm Messianic Jewish, we split up as a couple, but remained friends, and still lived under the same roof, I was her carer until I became to ill to look after her. I'm sure you'll find someone, but be assured, you can be loved

 

[FireFox]

I understand this loney feeling as well, I'm 30 and have never been in a relationship with a female. Probably similar circumstances to yours, It can make life feel devoid of purpose and or pleasure

@bqhh enormous virtual hug.

Majority of society do not understand what it is like to go through your entire life being single. Everything is fucking designed for couples and people with love interests to live comfortably, if you are single society doesn't care to help you at all.

If a man or woman is dumped they have ALL the advice in the world to cope with being dumped in addition majority of society will sympathise with then because they can relete to being dumped as it is something they have been through,

Being single I am sick and tired of being told by other people " my time is coming" how the fuck do they know.

If you are single and upset society does not fucking care and expect you to deal with the pain . I once posted on a womans sub community on reddit called two X Chornoses.

I posed about my sadness over being single while seeing other women i grew up with getting married and being successful with men.

None of the thousands of women who were active on that sub didn't even respond to my posts but whenever a woman posts about how awful, lazy or useless or an arsehole her boyfriend or husband is it gets over a thousand likes and so many responses along with support.

Another time I posted about how I can't cope anymore with the years of make rejection I have experienced. The women on the sub pretty much looked down upon me for wanting a loving relationship with a man and told me how being single woman is cool.

The sub is supposed be a space for women to talk about women's issues but 90% of posts are women complaining about their boyfriends and husbands. The common complaints are about bf or husband didn't do something they wanted properly or bf or husband doesn't give enough attention etc.

Nobody cares about people like us but selfishly expect us to live for them. I am done being rejected why should I live in world where no man wants to love me while everyone has love.

 

[FireFox]

You sound like a lovely lady, and I don't understand why no-one wants you, religion is a personal thing, I sort of think of it as a relationship with the divine, it shouldn't be a barrier to a relationship, although saying that, I'm contradicting 2 Corinthians 6:14. My last girlfriend, her funeral was yesterday, was atheist, while I'm Messianic Jewish, we split up as a couple, but remained friends, and still lived under the same roof, I was her carer until I became to ill to look after her. I'm sure you'll find someone, but be assured, you can be loved

@JoysoftheEmptiness I am so sorry for your loss, Rest In Peace to your friend.

You were a true friend, a real friend never leaves their friends behind and you stayed with her to the very end. People like you are rare in this world. You are a very good person.

I'm so sorry to read that you're in so much pain it's not your fault and I very much doubt that you're unlovable, you just got a shit start in life. Rejection from a parent hurts so much and affects you for the rest of your life.

Just a thought, I hope this doesn't come off as invalidating. But could it be possible that you're subconsciously attracted to men who you know are going to reject you in the same way that your father did? That is a very real phenomena with early attachment disruptions known as "repetition compulsion", there are different hypothesis as to why it happens but I think the most common explanation is that the psyche is trying to heal by recreating the original trauma and finally "win" over it by making the unavaliable person finally love you. Once heard someone say that "childhood traumatization is constantly trying to make unavaliable people love you" and I think there is something to it.

Personally, I've realized it's exactly like that. Unfortunately I realized it way too late. I grew up with a traumatized mother who's immature, emotionally abusive and with a major addiction personality. As an adult I've been drawn to traumatized women who's immature, abusive and addicted to various things. It's like my body knowns before I even talk to them. The more times I've dated and been abused and discarded by one, the more attractive those qualities get.

>But could it be possible that you're subconsciously attracted to men who you know are going to reject you in the same way that your father did?

NO !

I do not process rejection like other people do because the adults around me never taught me how to cope healthily with rejection. Growing up I was always told " Gods time is the best" , "everything happens for a reason" ," rejection is a blessing".

When I get rejected it feels so intense and I go onto deep depression because I feel like I have lost an opportunity not being picked by the guys I really liked. I crave male love and attention even more because I was always the girl now woman who never ever gets picked while everyone is getting picked

In my head every guy I like I feel like they are the best thing and me getting rejected I feel like the unluckiest woman in the world. Every Guy I met is my last chance

Right now I feel it feels like the worst thing ever being rejected again and i feel like the unluckiest woman in the world

When I turn 30 I will kill myself because I am not going through this anymore constantly being the unwanted woman who never picked while everyone is married.

 

[FireFox]

I'll be honest you survived, i'm proud and even if the brain says that we need someone don't let that plant in, i'm 27 and had a path of life similar, you aren't a failure and who says that to u should fall from a cliff. Trust me you will find ur happy space, when lonelyness hits me I embrace my passions, makes me remenber my brain that I don't need another person to get the feeling of being need. That fear of being single is natural everyone wants to feel loved but don't let that drown u, if we stress too much about something we can't control that destroy us from the inside slowly. A big hug I hope you are safe from those people nowadays

@Soph The worst thing about being single is having NO support especially from other women. If you are open about your pain of being single other women just dismiss your pain or patronise you. Society doesn't care about women like me.

The worst women I have encountered are the formerly single who now have relationships

This year I got builled out of a digital detox community which promotes mental wellness by a group of women who judged me for being single and blaming me for it.

One woman let's call her A - She said I need to "put myself out there". I already explained I have the natural confidence to talk to people but all my life guys ignored me and dont want to know me. She responded saying "use dating apps". I explained I don't feel comfortable using dating apps because me being a black woman growing up my whole life I have experienced never being seen as pretty while racial groups got desired even men of my own race harassed me and abused me while they were always nicer to the white women and girls. I read dating apps have a very low succes rate for black women I don't want to go through a competition I won't win. She is a white woman, she doesn't get how hard it is for black women to find love due to society and men attracted to eurocentric standards of beauty.

She proceeds to criticise me for my poor "attitude" and how its my fault I am single. She went on about her experiences of not being attractive and having a facial swelling deformity and how she met her husband on a dating app. Not everyone is lucky as she is

● Another woman let's call her B- she talked about her experiences of male rejection and how she "never let it get to her". She says she has husband now and how" I need to put myself out there". This same woman went on about having free therapy in the city I live in and how I am "not trying". These free therapies and low cost options have restrictions if you are suicidal you are not eligible. NOT ALL of the city is the same every area is different. Some areas have more mental health care options than others.

I have had issues navatigating healthcare in this country I am not going through it again.

 

[Soph]

@Soph The worst thing about being single is having NO support especially from other women. If you are open about your pain of being single other women just dismiss your pain or patronise you. Society doesn't care about women like me.

The worst women I have encountered are the formerly single who now have relationships

This year I got builled out of a digital detox community which promotes mental wellness by a group of women who judged me for being single and blaming me for it.

One woman let's call her A - She said I need to "put myself out there". I already explained I have the natural confidence to talk to people but all my life guys ignored me and dont want to know me. She responded saying "use dating apps". I explained I don't feel comfortable using dating apps because me being a black woman growing up my whole life I have experienced never being seen as pretty while racial groups got desired even men of my own race harassed me and abused me while they were always nicer to the white women and girls. I read dating apps have a very low succes rate for black women I don't want to go through a competition I won't win. She is a white woman, she doesn't get how hard it is for black women to find love due to society and men attracted to eurocentric standards of beauty.

She proceeds to criticise me for my poor "attitude" and how its my fault I am single. She went on about her experiences of not being attractive and having a facial swelling deformity and how she met her husband on a dating app. Not everyone is lucky as she is

● Another woman let's call her B- she talked about her experiences of male rejection and how she "never let it get to her". She says she has husband now and how" I need to put myself out there". This same woman went on about having free therapy in the city I live in and how I am "not trying". These free therapies and low cost options have restrictions if you are suicidal you are not eligible. NOT ALL of the city is the same every area is different. Some areas have more mental health care options than others.

I have had issues navatigating healthcare in this country I am not going through it again.

I want to give u a hug rn, those people are evil. If you ever need to vent i'm here for you, sadly I can't do much but I'll hear you and you aren't alone even if i'm a bit far.

 

[Just_Another_Person]

@Just_Another_Person Everyday I feel like unluckiest woman in the world being rejected by the Anti-Thiest and I don't think I will meet another man more fun and better than him and more importantly didn't judge me for being a hemp user. He spent his life travelling around the world due to his parents job, we are both into hemp/CBD because we were both tired of being in pain in our lives and wanted relief, politics our views were very similar and he was so fun to be around.

I feel like the unluckiest woman in the world being rejected again. In my head if I get rejected it feels so intense and the worst thing ever

The guy had many so issues, insecurities and toxic traits.

●He once gave me the slient treatment for 2 whole weeks. It was painful I was begging for forgiveness just so he talk to me again. Afterwards I had to walk on egg shells because I feared he would do it to me again.

● When it came to my height his comments were very hurtful. He pointed on multiple occasions how "Tiny" I am compared to him. He mentioned how his exes were not as small as me. He questioned how someone small like me can be attracted to man big as him. I told him I don't care about his height because I am staring above his face and I like what I see but he still pointed out how he is taller than me.

I was getting fed up of him having a problem with my small height so I tried to find out why he has a problem with my height. So I asked him the following question" if we were to have sex are you scared of breaking my bones and me going to A&E[hospital]"

The man response was " yes - that was one of my initial fears " meeting you

He was concerned about sex while I made the effort to really know him asking questions about what he likes, dislikes and his hopes and dreams. I make the effort

● No matter how transparent I was he complained I was " hard to read"

Despite all his issues, insecurities I liked him for who he was and I don't think a better man for me exists. I have gone through too much rejection throughout my life as a result i do feel like any man is better than being rejected.

It is okay to feel like this for some time, you had feelings for him, but trust me there are a lot of other men out there that could love you, treat you well and also respect you. Ik it may sounds like I am ignoring how you feel, but I assure you, many people can "connect" with you but sometimes they aren't near you, they didn't notice you or even you notice them. May be hard to find, but definitely there are people that would like you. The "perfect/only person" thing isn't real, there is no perfect person, but there are people who can accept them with their imperfections (except if is something really bad like aggression and emotional abuse / gaslighting, fuck these people). I had that view in the past, I only got rid of it around my mid/late 20s and after a decent amount of failed relationships. About the hemp/CBD/weed, I'm not versed in these to know the difference well but I do know that A LOT of people don't care if their partner use/smoke it and some even also consume it. About political views, plenty people out there with the same as yours and also funny. Believe me, sometimes I am astonished about a person I like having a very unpopular opinion that I have.

The height thing made my blood boil. What a weirdo and stupid creature. Of all things... he cares about height? WTF. All heights are wonderful, doesn't matter if the person is short or tall, both are good and have their own "advantages". And... break you? Really? He must think he is superman to think he could break a person during sex...

About talking of sex, some people like talking about it early and others don't. But again, the height things he said were so idiot.

There is also all the other abusive thing he did to you, which aren't ok at all.

I'm sure there is someone out there that is infinitely better for you than him. And about feeling any person is better than being rejected... please don't do that, it will only make things worse, much worse. Believe me, I had a similar phase and made stupid decisions. It is better to be alone than in bad company.

I'm not trying to downsize your suffering or do some sort of "saving", I'm just telling you that you were not at fault for the guy being an abusive asshole and that you can find someone "good".

Just gonna reinforce something: slow down, first you need to know the person, se if you two "connect" and then decide if relationship is an option. Having too many expectations in the beginning won't do any good.

Not sure if you are open to long distance/online dating, but if you are, joining discord servers of your interests may introduce you to "compatible" people. Just be careful with the the creeps/ppl who doesn't take no for an answer/princes in shining armor.

I followed you so if you would prefer to talk more in private feel free to do so.

(Sorry for the late answer)

I wish you all the best

 

[EvisceratedJester]

About the hemp/CBD/weed, I'm not versed in these to know the difference well

Weed has THC in it while hemp barely has any in it (the THC content is typically around 0.3% or less). While weed/marijuana is illegal in many places, hemp tends to be legal in most parts of the world and is used to obtain CBD. Unlike THC, the main psychoactive compound in marijuana, CBD doesn't get you high. CBD is sometimes used for its therapeutic effects.

 

[FireFox]

It is okay to feel like this for some time, you had feelings for him, but trust me there are a lot of other men out there that could love you, treat you well and also respect you. Ik it may sounds like I am ignoring how you feel, but I assure you, many people can "connect" with you but sometimes they aren't near you, they didn't notice you or even you notice them. May be hard to find, but definitely there are people that would like you. The "perfect/only person" thing isn't real, there is no perfect person, but there are people who can accept them with their imperfections (except if is something really bad like aggression and emotional abuse / gaslighting, fuck these people). I had that view in the past, I only got rid of it around my mid/late 20s and after a decent amount of failed relationships. About the hemp/CBD/weed, I'm not versed in these to know the difference well but I do know that A LOT of people don't care if their partner use/smoke it and some even also consume it. About political views, plenty people out there with the same as yours and also funny. Believe me, sometimes I am astonished about a person I like having a very unpopular opinion that I have.

The height thing made my blood boil. What a weirdo and stupid creature. Of all things... he cares about height? WTF. All heights are wonderful, doesn't matter if the person is short or tall, both are good and have their own "advantages". And... break you? Really? He must think he is superman to think he could break a person during sex...

About talking of sex, some people like talking about it early and others don't. But again, the height things he said were so idiot.

There is also all the other abusive thing he did to you, which aren't ok at all.

I'm sure there is someone out there that is infinitely better for you than him. And about feeling any person is better than being rejected... please don't do that, it will only make things worse, much worse. Believe me, I had a similar phase and made stupid decisions. It is better to be alone than in bad company.

I'm not trying to downsize your suffering or do some sort of "saving", I'm just telling you that you were not at fault for the guy being an abusive asshole and that you can find someone "good".

Just gonna reinforce something: slow down, first you need to know the person, se if you two "connect" and then decide if relationship is an option. Having too many expectations in the beginning won't do any good.

Not sure if you are open to long distance/online dating, but if you are, joining discord servers of your interests may introduce you to "compatible" people. Just be careful with the the creeps/ppl who doesn't take no for an answer/princes in shining armor.

I followed you so if you would prefer to talk more in private feel free to do so.

(Sorry for the late answer)

I wish you all the best

@Just_Another_Person He gave me the slient treatment because what happened was he was telling me about his relationship history and I was a little bit suspicious of one the version of events he gave me about one of his exes. Parts of the story wasn't making any sense and I felt something was missing. I have a very inquisitive mind it's not fun to have.

The man has a history of very dysfunctional and unhealthy relationships with women . In the versions of events he gave me me about his past relationships ALL the women he dated had something wrong with them ie drug addiction, mental illness or just were not nice women and himself the innocent/victim party. I believe abusive women exist but some of the stories he gave me about his past relationships were not making any sense. I just had a bad feeling.

He claimed one of his exes came to his workplace with a knife and tried to attack him.

I asked why did she do it? He was throwing around all these mental health diagnosis ranging from severe depression to bipolar disorder, as if it was confetti. This woman was not even professionally diagnosed.

Then I asked what kind of person was she before the knife incident. The way a person behaves reveals a lot about them.

He got so mad at my questioning. He said he felt "uncomfortable" and he was going to bed, we were messaging each other. I apologised immediately and he ignores me for 2 whole weeks. He stops answering my texts and stopped messaging me. It was so distressing and I blamed myself for driving him away.

I had to go see in him in person breaking down begging and apologising and explaining why I was asking questions about his relationships.

Last year i got involved with a 55 year old man he painted me as the crazy woman and himself the saint and nice guy. He turned everyone at work against me with the assistance with a older woman colleague who I thought was my friend.This man fucked me up and I blamed myself for not asking questions.

When I told the man about the old man all of sudden he now starts getting interested and wanting to know all the details. It was so disgusting because I made the effort to ask questions of all the things he liked, dislikes, favourite hobbies because I liked him for who he was and geniuenely wanted to know him more. When it came to questions for me about anything the man barley made any effort to know me.

When he gave me the slient treatment he acted like the whole thing never happened.

My grandmother thinks the man was doing all the abusing and asked me " so ALL the women he got involved with were wrong and he is in the right ?"

My grandmother is a domestic violence survivor who was married to an abusive man, my grandfather for many years.

Weed has THC in it while hemp barely has any in it (the THC content is typically around 0.3% or less). While weed/marijuana is illegal in many places, hemp tends to be legal in most parts of the world and is used to obtain CBD. Unlike THC, the main psychoactive compound in marijuana, CBD doesn't get you high. CBD is sometimes used for its therapeutic effects.

@EvisceratedJester There is a lot of ignorance about hemp. Many people think you can get high off hemp and believebit's the same as doing drugs. Hemp belongs in the family of cannabis plants which is why it comes with the ignorance.

I have family members judge me for being a regular consumer of hemp tea. My grandmother went mad when I made my 1st brew of loose leaf hemp tea mixed with earl grey. She was mad because of the strong cannabis smell from baking the hemp.

My grandmother was even accusing me of being a drug addict. My grandmother had issues of alcoholism in the past so was giving the whole "dont do drugs"talk and lecture about "this is how addiction starts"

I had to explain to her you can't get high of hemp she was having none of it. I had to go back to using hemp tea bags.

I liked the guy because it was nice bonding with someone who enjoyed tne same stuff I used and knew a lot about hemp because he sells hemp and CBD products for a living. I feel like other men who have a problem with me being a hippy hemp user