Crematoryy
Autophagic Loneliness
- Feb 12, 2025
- 253
Living carrying the weight of "never loving," "never touching," "never feeling," knowing that what was once his dream has always been accessible to others, and that the greatest drama of his life happens as just another ordinary day for the rest of the world.
There is an insidious offense in living in constant deprivation, knowing that sex, for those who possess it, is something as consumable as any other product. The effort they make to obtain it is as frivolous as opening a refrigerator, taking the desired food, and devouring it. The world around them has always favored them; they never needed to be more of themselves to find love: they were born able to possess.
While my suffering leads me to psychological decline, part of the world experiences orgasmic neurobiological gratification. It would have been better if I had never existed than to witness this humiliation.
There is an insidious offense in living in constant deprivation, knowing that sex, for those who possess it, is something as consumable as any other product. The effort they make to obtain it is as frivolous as opening a refrigerator, taking the desired food, and devouring it. The world around them has always favored them; they never needed to be more of themselves to find love: they were born able to possess.
While my suffering leads me to psychological decline, part of the world experiences orgasmic neurobiological gratification. It would have been better if I had never existed than to witness this humiliation.
