Venting I am disgusting

[HitBlackVein]

I am overweight, nymphomaniac and suicidal pig. I Hate absolutely about myself, I wish I never existed. I was sexually assaulted at 6 by my brother, which caused me to be hypersexual (I started to be addicted to masturbating when I turned 15), thinking about sex nonstop and cutting myself is the only stress reliever for me. It's extremaly humilitating but even the SLIGHTEST bit of stress causes me to sit wet on the bathroom floor, while I cut myself like a maniac. It is vulgarly described but I feel absolutely vulgar when I do it. I almost always cry after doing it, sometimes I am so crazy while harming myself I feel like I might do something much worse than some cuts. I feel embarassed to post it here but I needed to get this off my chest.

 

[Sweet Tart]

I'm so sorry. I wouldn't compare our experiences, but when I was 5 or 6, I was sexually assaulted several times by my best friend (at the time). I feel like the symptoms of my trauma are different from those of people who experienced SA at an older age, I think because it happened before I had any concept of sex or sexuality. I knew it was something bad that I didn't like, but I didn't have the language to perceive it as SA. I'm curious if this makes sense to you, as tbh, I've never spoken to another person who also experienced SA as a young child. I'm sorry that it was perpetrated by your brother. That really sucks.

I know it feels embarrassing but you're truly not alone in having problematic coping strategies. Problematic coping strategies are largely keeping me going. I'm sorry, not only for what you have been thru but the pain it left you with. I'm also sorry if I've misinterpreted anything you said or if my response is inappropriate in any way. You deserve better from the world.

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

Oh you don't have to worry about your weight I know this girl who is "overweight" as well but she still has a husband even though he calls her names like "mupengo". But if you are concerned about it you can start dieting and exercising and within a few months you would have a healthy bmi…I can understand though you being worried about weight as this might affect your health or self esteem but this is something that can easily be fixed within a few months as long as you are dedicated to it…

Also there is nothing wrong with feeling suicidal as inevitability death is the ending to everyone whether we like it or not ( even the greatests like Kobe died unexpectedly) leaving fortunes behind and by being suicidal you are choosing your own ending without waiting for death itself….

People masturbate all the time, well most of people I know used to masturbate even when I was doing my degree we used to talk about this - So there is nothing to be ashamed here, sex is normal as that's how humans are created….

There is nothing to be ashamed here unless if there is someone or other people who wants you to be ashamed. Don't let other people dictate how you should or shouldn't live, most of these people would even have done more shameful things behind closed doors.

I hope you will take my advice and I wish you the best to whatever decision you will end up taking.

 

[HitBlackVein]

I'm so sorry. I wouldn't compare our experiences, but when I was 5 or 6, I was sexually assaulted several times by my best friend (at the time). I feel like the symptoms of my trauma are different from those of people who experienced SA at an older age, I think because it happened before I had any concept of sex or sexuality. I knew it was something bad that I didn't like, but I didn't have the language to perceive it as SA. I'm curious if this makes sense to you, as tbh, I've never spoken to another person who also experienced SA as a young child. I'm sorry that it was perpetrated by your brother. That really sucks.

I know it feels embarrassing but you're truly not alone in having problematic coping strategies. Problematic coping strategies are largely keeping me going. I'm sorry, not only for what you have been thru but the pain it left you with. I'm also sorry if I've misinterpreted anything you said or if my response is inappropriate in any way. You deserve better from the world.

I do understand you, I realised that it was sa when I was 13 so it is probably quite normal