hypothetically what excuse could one use for a broken door after a hypothetically failed hanging attempt?

[xXSufferingXx]

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[hopeless302]

Tell the truth and see if someone can help

 

[xXSufferingXx]

Tell the truth and see if someone can help

fuck no. no shade, but that's a bad idea.
you don't know who to trust and what they might do with such information.
their definition of "helping you" might be making sure you go to an insane asylum which will fuck your life up even worse than before.

 

[FadingShadows]

Do you have cats? >.> (As in, "dumbass little fucker tripped me when I jumped up to see why they screaming like they were dying and it turned out it was just that there was one kibble left in the bowl and they were convinced they'd never been fed in their lives," or similarly-ridiculous yet completely plausible cat-related excuses.)

(Source: I have cats, and also Every Cat Ever. )

I'm only being sort of facetious there because, again, Cats, but more seriously, is there anything you could blame for being temporarily off-balance that wouldn't trigger immediate suspicion, depending on where the door is and when it broke? ("I got up to pee and I was still SUPER out of it," "Wow this new medication is really screwing with me, I hope it gets better soon," etc etc.)

 

[PanaxMan]

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Bad friend got pissed at ya or SO barged in or a robbery