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Busridin'26

Busridin'26

Hating every minute of being alive.
Dec 8, 2019
1,915
Lets check in with one another.


I shall check in first:

Day's going ok. Met with worker. Talked to my friend/ex. Am cleaning up rn and almost done/setting my limit.

There's an open mic later/soon.

& yee otherwise working on some social media posts to start likeee having posting as an artist.

Talked to my brother. My worker had talked to him. He didn't wanna tell me context which was fine but the convo was about ways to support me better so im curious?

My worker said he'd talk to me next week. So whether he mentioned any context shall be seen but its whatever. Talking to him it felt fake tbh. Like I just don't trust him and my brother to ever support me so.

Tryna not focus on it but have the feeling of panic & lost/directionless emptiness that comes up and I have now identified it... sooo shall seeeee...


I feel... I dunno physically kinda tired which I expect bc of the physical exertion. (Was outta breathe picking up my laundry.)

Mentally... I'm hesitant, scared, lost, empty, content and some vigor or want for life... but yeah... I don't feel that great but it's not the worst?

That's how my days been & what I've been up to & my rest of day plans.



How about you? How are you? Watcha been up to? Watcha got planned? (Don't have to answer all or at all or anything)
 
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Reactions: Regen, Pluto, enough of this and 5 others
carac

carac

Banned
May 27, 2023
1,115
I baked some shortbread in the morning, very simple to make but trying to build up.

Started a claim to get some welfare as I haven't had any financial support for ages. Going through all the bs you have makes me want to ctb

Made an appointment to donate blood, maybe I can be of use to somebody

Did some exercise in the evening and took my dogs for a walk and cooked fajitas to cheer myself up

Otherwise just generally spent the day managing my physical pain but wasn't too bad today
 
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Reactions: cgrtt.brns and Busridin'26
parader

parader

bpd, ocpd
Apr 15, 2023
119
woke up terribly hungover and feeling so depressed and guilty bc of binge drinking last night
took some meds and slept a little longer after throwing up like crazy
woke up again feeling better physically and emotionally
kind of apathetic right now, but hey it's an improvement
gonna visit my parents in a few hours and stay there for the night
while waiting i'm looking for resources on sobriety
 
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Reactions: Regen and cgrtt.brns
psp3000

psp3000

Enlightened
May 20, 2023
1,716
the start of the day was okay surprisingly although I was a bit worried

one bad thing happened but I didn't let it affect me which is a huge deal because usually it easy for bad things to ruin my entire day

and I passed my long awaited exam
which means I get to take a break for a while
 
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Reactions: cgrtt.brns and Valky
cgrtt.brns

cgrtt.brns

wandering ghost (he/him)
Apr 19, 2023
844
todays been incredibly eventful for me which is very out of the ordinary. im exhausted mentally but my brain and body dont want to sleep.
went into town with my dad in the morning. was incredibly anxious but overall didnt go terribly. very up and down emotionally the whole time, got socially exhausted very quickly as usual.
got home and somehow still had energy and motivation to apply for a job i think i would enjoy and actually fulfilled all the criteria for, except the social parts (communication, positive attitude blah blah). spent seven hours rewriting cv and cover letter over and over bc i was paranoid they werent good enough. i know i wont get the job. last time i was optimistic about a job i got rejected and had a breakdown and nearly ctb twice. idk what im gonna do if i dont get it, but im telling myself i wont get it so it doesnt hurt as bad.
other than that played a bit of minecraft and had a few fags while listening to an album i havent heard before that i now love (TOOL's lateralus, thanks to soft-flower for recommending it <3) def the highlight of my day.
now im in bed and sweating like a fucking pig, uncomfortable and overstimulated, with a headache that wont go away. im wide awake and its 3am.
overall, ok mentally, very up and down, but at least it was a productive day.
even just writing all that i did today was exhausting. cant wait for nothing to happen for another four months /s. its weird how my life can be just mind numbingly uneventful for months and then suddenly get one day where everything happens all at once.

thanks for making this post, it was nice to see what others have been up to and to write out what ive done today. maybe i might look back at this later and actually be able to remember what i did in a day for once.
 
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Reactions: psp3000
landmine

landmine

lovesickness
Mar 12, 2023
108
nothing really happened today. i don't remember what i exactly did so maybe it was nothing .. i did want my FP's attention but i feel like i'm forcing him to talk to me so much. he does say hes a dry person now .. but i didn't know it was that much .. i feel my heart ripping into little pieces. i know it isn't his fault at all, just my stupid emotions and mind being cruel to me.
 
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Reactions: cgrtt.brns
enough of this

enough of this

Arcanist
Jun 4, 2023
436
Lets check in with one another.


I shall check in first:

Day's going ok. Met with worker. Talked to my friend/ex. Am cleaning up rn and almost done/setting my limit.

There's an open mic later/soon.

& yee otherwise working on some social media posts to start likeee having posting as an artist.

Talked to my brother. My worker had talked to him. He didn't wanna tell me context which was fine but the convo was about ways to support me better so im curious?

My worker said he'd talk to me next week. So whether he mentioned any context shall be seen but its whatever. Talking to him it felt fake tbh. Like I just don't trust him and my brother to ever support me so.

Tryna not focus on it but have the feeling of panic & lost/directionless emptiness that comes up and I have now identified it... sooo shall seeeee...


I feel... I dunno physically kinda tired which I expect bc of the physical exertion. (Was outta breathe picking up my laundry.)

Mentally... I'm hesitant, scared, lost, empty, content and some vigor or want for life... but yeah... I don't feel that great but it's not the worst?

That's how my days been & what I've been up to & my rest of day plans.



How about you? How are you? Watcha been up to? Watcha got planned? (Don't have to answer all or at all or anything)
I've actually done quite a bit today. Did the housecleaning - dishes, dusting, vacuuming.... Not my favorite activities, but necessary every once in a while. Did some time on the treadmill. Then, I got some medical check-in business done for some upcoming appointments. But it still doesn't feel as though I've accomplished much. I'd feel better if I didn't feel so bloated. But, whatever that is, it will pass. (No pun intended.)
 
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Reactions: cgrtt.brns
Strawberry_Clouds

Strawberry_Clouds

( = ⩊ = )
Jun 17, 2023
45
My day wasn't bad. I haven't done much, I worked on a shitpost for a friend and finished it, they liked it. Overall it was one of the better days I've had, I felt productive.
 
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Reactions: cgrtt.brns and enough of this
cgrtt.brns

cgrtt.brns

wandering ghost (he/him)
Apr 19, 2023
844
woke up to a text saying i didnt get the job i applied for. im thankful they at least didnt give me an interview before telling me i was unsuccessful, like the last job. im bummed out and feeling hopeless but its no where near as bad as last time. watched a few episodes of breaking bad which i enjoyed, then the disk with the last episode of the first season didnt work so i felt a bit shit bc of that. other than that ive been rly low and unmotivated today so i havent done anything else. i just want to sleep forever.
 
enough of this

enough of this

Arcanist
Jun 4, 2023
436
My day has been surprisingly good. Drugs help. 🤪
 
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Reactions: Regen
bijou

bijou

meow meow meow
Jan 23, 2023
173
got my level 1 drivers license today, 22 and never driven a car, so i think thats a step in the right direction.

otherwise felt kind of low
 
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Reactions: TransilvanianHunger
TransilvanianHunger

TransilvanianHunger

Grave with a view...
Jan 22, 2023
417
got my level 1 drivers license today, 22 and never driven a car, so i think thats a step in the right direction.
First of all, congratulations! I took my first driving lessons at 31 and a few years later I haven't bothered to get my license, I'd say at 22 you're doing quit alright.

---

My day's been pretty alright. Did some schoolwork while I had my morning coffee. Wish it was more challenging, to be totally honest, but it's still early days and I expect things to get trickier down the line.

Had my weekly session with my therapist at 1pm, and that went well too. She's out of the country these days, so we're doing video calls. Not exactly a fan of those, and I much prefer seeing her in person, but it's only for a few weeks. After that, I did some work, made dinner, played with my cat, then sat down to listen to a new podcast I found this past weekend.

Now I'm just relaxing with some music and a glass of whisky, getting ready to jump into bed at some point soon-ish.
 
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Reactions: bijou

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