Help How to start cutting?

[Red]

As a former cutter, I recommend not doing it at all…

It has taken a long time for my scars to fade and after over a decade of not cutting, seeing my scars reminds me of the painful times that lead to those wounds. Having to answer difficult questions posed by others who notice them too is even harder.

I regret doing it, for adding physical scar tissue to the emotional scars. If you want a release of endorphins to soothe your pain, there are other ways to do that, such as getting tattoos or engaging in exercise maybe?

I had hoped at the time that others might see my wounds and help me but it only brought judgement, distain and lack of understanding. I regret doing it now and am reminded of it every time I look down at my scars, it makes me sad when I least expect it.

 

[GentleJerk]

getting tattoos

I came here to say exactly this. It's what I did.

 

[PartlyHuman]

I know it's not for me to talk but as a semi-active sh-er... It's not worth it at all. It starts really innocent, a cut here and there and life instantly seems better. Rush of euphoria, for me it was strong enough to make me dizzy and happy and laughing. But the problem is, there's no going back. You get addicted and progress in this addiction really fast and then you're NEVER free. And then after some brief period of bliss you're a scarred mess (it's if you're lucky enough to have just scars and no permanent damage) for the rest of your life.
I actively self-harmed for just a couple of years and was lucky enough to avoid permanent damage but I always have to be mindful over my sleeves. I can't wear shorts. I have to carefully plan every doctor visit so I don't have to explain myself every time. I had my friends looking at me in disgust over noticing one scar and people just gazing at my thighs and touching me without any asking because "wow you have a scar again here?". It's like if having cuts strips you off body autonomy even as an adult...
I had to mind my wounds for weeks because they just won't heal. I've got an infection once and had fever so high I was hallucinating and it was a tiny wound which I just happened to do with a contaminated tool. A guy I started relationships with started calling me "a self-harm girl" when I've gathered enough courage to tell him.
The only time I've felt understood after is with a fellow sh-er. They were clean for almost ten years - and still they got urges and eventually relapsed and could never be clean again after it. They was literally forcefully undressed by adults as a teen just so they would look at their scars and indeed confirm they were sh-ing. For them it's so bad now they can't undress with any people around without having a panic attack as they had their autonomy stripped off them too. The shame is so much that now that we're in relationships for almost two years they keep asking me if I'm okay with the scars.
And we both have it mild. No permanent nerve damage, no forced hospitalization, no amputations/tetanus or severe anemia. Self-harm really only starts innocent but it quickly progresses to hideous and then you will never be free and there's nobody I know who haven't started to regret it eventually.

 

[Ness]

Reading this thread and hoping OP hasn't started cutting because I started at 16 and I've yet to be able to fully quit (it's been over a decade). It stresses me out every time because the chances of getting discovered rise every time it happens, and the idea of people knowing is terrifying. So even though other methods don't "cut it anymore" as OP said, I hope there are less permanent and less visible methods that help. I've read someone say that it helped them to take frozen ice and put it on their wrists, someone here and other places have mentioned rubber bands that can be snapped because that too will sting. And other options would be voluntarily picking up some sort of sport that is highly likely to result in bruises.

 

[☆AwaitingEntropy☆]

Another self harmer who doesn't recommend cutting. I've self harmed off and on for well over a decade, even before than the concept of suicide entered my mind, and if you get addicted, the thought may never leave you fully.

I was largely clean for a couple years, then bam. Had a particularly difficult month and now my shoulders are so scarred I can't wear any of the nice summer clothes I'd been looking forward to. People stare. People patronize. And if you're unlucky like me, even cuts that aren't very deep scar badly, and take forever to heal. They often itch along the way. There's risk of infection.

It's something my broken brain feels I deserve, for reasons I can't explain, but I would never, ever recommend sh as a coping method.

Having said that, if you've already done it, or are set on it, please be safe. Others have recommended sterilization techniques, and proper wound care. I'd recommend following those, to minimize damage. But of course, the best way to do that is to not start at all, if you can.

 

[myopybyproxy]

most of the issues with self harm are societal - people's reactions, how you're treated, the stigma

even medical issues wouldn't be as severe if society was more understanding of mental health bc people would be more likely to go to a&e

I've cut to fat many times and never once sought medical treatment because of this (family knowing, medical record, potential sectioning)

just keep your tools clean and sterilise the area you plan to cut