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grapefruit04

grapefruit04

still under my rock
Oct 22, 2025
15
As of now I need to live, but I keep having suicidal thoughts, they feel like cravings that come and go but they last days and make functioning challenging. On those days I just want to lay down and be silent even if I shouldn't be. How do I manage these thoughts alone?
 
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hoppybunny

hoppybunny

Fearer of the Future
Jun 26, 2024
250
For me venting online really helps. And spending one day just to feel suicidal sp the feeling passes. Then i ignore it. Watching or reading things also helps cause it's like a quick seratonin shot for me.


Also if you really think about why you need to live, and have an agenda set for the day to work towards that goal or reason. Like for instance I want to take my bestie to a Nigerian restaurant and move out, so i set small goals to help reach that goal, like graduate, then get a job, then i set smaller goals to reach that goal. Just be careful of goalception where u end up procrastinating by making an infinite amount of goals.

But honestly that's still better than active suicidal ideation.


Basically my advice is, set aside time to feel ur emotions then just keep ur brain as busy as possible till u have some actual achievements. Then as u achieve more u also feel better.


Ofc this might not work as well if u have like chemical depression, which can usually only be fixed with antidepressants.

My depression is situational so antidepressants did nothing.


Sorry for rambling. I'm not sire if any of this makes sense.


But my method only works short term, in order to eventually build long term happiness.

And stay away from shortform, infinite scroll content like tiktok and insta reels. They may help with instant dopamine and keeping your brain busy but it's just as self distructive as laying in bed being suicidal and these algorithms pray on mentally ill ppl like us to keep scrolling as a distraction.

It becomes a genuine addiction. Like before reading too much, watching too much and playing too many games used to be the worst thing a depressed person can do but at least they engaged your brain and maybe your hands but social media addiction genuinely does nothing for u.
 
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FoxSauce

FoxSauce

Emotionally unstable like an IKEA table
Aug 23, 2024
890
Venting , distracting myself and meds help me or talking to somwone (depends)


Im sorry your going throught this 🫂
 
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an_alias

an_alias

Hi :)
Dec 21, 2020
143
It's embarrassing and it makes me hate myself a little bit more afterwards but I can vouch for distraction. listen to music really loud and watch as much slop on youtube as you can
 
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SaintJosifStalin

SaintJosifStalin

-
Nov 17, 2025
44
Consider choosing a goal which you can spend time working towards every day.
 
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nocatwaslost

nocatwaslost

free hugs
Dec 7, 2024
24
For me venting online really helps. And spending one day just to feel suicidal sp the feeling passes. Then i ignore it. Watching or reading things also helps cause it's like a quick seratonin shot for me.


Also if you really think about why you need to live, and have an agenda set for the day to work towards that goal or reason. Like for instance I want to take my bestie to a Nigerian restaurant and move out, so i set small goals to help reach that goal, like graduate, then get a job, then i set smaller goals to reach that goal. Just be careful of goalception where u end up procrastinating by making an infinite amount of goals.

But honestly that's still better than active suicidal ideation.


Basically my advice is, set aside time to feel ur emotions then just keep ur brain as busy as possible till u have some actual achievements. Then as u achieve more u also feel better.


Ofc this might not work as well if u have like chemical depression, which can usually only be fixed with antidepressants.

My depression is situational so antidepressants did nothing.


Sorry for rambling. I'm not sire if any of this makes sense.


But my method only works short term, in order to eventually build long term happiness.

And stay away from shortform, infinite scroll content like tiktok and insta reels. They may help with instant dopamine and keeping your brain busy but it's just as self distructive as laying in bed being suicidal and these algorithms pray on mentally ill ppl like us to keep scrolling as a distraction.

It becomes a genuine addiction. Like before reading too much, watching too much and playing too many games used to be the worst thing a depressed person can do but at least they engaged your brain and maybe your hands but social media addiction genuinely does nothing for u.
damn I really do the same as you. I also let my feelings and emotions out and then just try to distract myself as much as possible. But it is hard finding stuff to distract. In the past few days I have been scrolling Instagram more and played a game. It is not as bad since I maybe spend one or 2 hours on it, but it still feels like a coping strategy. But I guess it is still better than laying around depraved and lonely.

I mean it helps getting through the days, but my overall problem is not solved by it
 
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hoppybunny

hoppybunny

Fearer of the Future
Jun 26, 2024
250
damn I really do the same as you. I also let my feelings and emotions out and then just try to distract myself as much as possible. But it is hard finding stuff to distract. In the past few days I have been scrolling Instagram more and played a game. It is not as bad since I maybe spend one or 2 hours on it, but it still feels like a coping strategy. But I guess it is still better than laying around depraved and lonely.

I mean it helps getting through the days, but my overall problem is not solved by it
Yeah. Unfortunately distraction can only do so much, if the main issue doesn't go awaya it just gets less and less effective. My depression has gotten so bad that even playing games is a chore cause it uses too much brain power. And watching things is also a chore cause i can't be assed to read subtitles and reading is a chore too. Only social media has helped recently and honestly it has been showing more and more depressing stuff. So i need to hurry up and get a full time job so i can solve my main issues.
 
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nocatwaslost

nocatwaslost

free hugs
Dec 7, 2024
24
Yeah. Unfortunately distraction can only do so much, if the main issue doesn't go awaya it just gets less and less effective. My depression has gotten so bad that even playing games is a chore cause it uses too much brain power. And watching things is also a chore cause i can't be assed to read subtitles and reading is a chore too. Only social media has helped recently and honestly it has been showing more and more depressing stuff. So i need to hurry up and get a full time job so i can solve my main issues.
for me its mainly loneliness which is the problem. And I can only do so much to make it go away. I am dependent on other people and can only try to be open and find new people but it is very hard for me. I do hope you will find a new job soon. Do you live in an area where there aren't many jobs or are you just in a rough time?
 
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hoppybunny

hoppybunny

Fearer of the Future
Jun 26, 2024
250
for me its mainly loneliness which poses the problem. And I can only do so much to make it go away. I am dependent on other people and can only try to be open and find new people but it is very hard for me. I do hope you will find a new job soon. Do you live in an area where there aren't many jobs or are you just in a rough time?
So sorry. I hope you can make some friends. I'd offer to be friends but I'm unfortunately you're opposite. I don't like being around people at all. So i only have 2 friends, which i barely talk to cause we are all low maintenance and lowkey forget to talk to each other.


As for my job, i foolishly believed everyone that said I should get into tech and CS. Now there are no jobs and I'm competing with senior devs that have been laid off for entry level positions.

I only chose CS cause i was decent at coding and law school was too long. But now idk. I have a part time job rn. And am trying to get any job that pays enough for me to move out. But if nothing happens for me by December i may CTB.

I thought maybe i canntry going to lawschool. But i have to take the LSAT and that has already passed so no matter what I'm stuck in my home for months.
 
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nocatwaslost

nocatwaslost

free hugs
Dec 7, 2024
24
Thank you for your understanding. You do no have to explain yourself, I can already find some solace in writing my thoughts out here and people gifting me their attention and understanding. I do hope the situation it will change soon because I am loosing perspective if it stays the same. I do not want to ctb, but my brain is more and more inclined.


as for your career: It was a good tip for many years to get into tech, but AI and coporate greed seems to be quite devastating. Sorry that you are now suffering from this shit situation. I do hope that you will find another job so that you can move out. Is there anyone who can help you with it or maybe give a recommendation? I don't really know what to say really but just want to help you so that can get better
 
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hoppybunny

hoppybunny

Fearer of the Future
Jun 26, 2024
250
Thank you for your understanding. You do no have to explain yourself, I can already find some solace in writing my thoughts out here and people gifting me their attention and understanding. I do hope the situation it will change soon because I am loosing perspective if it stays the same. I do not want to ctb, but my brain is more and more inclined.


as for your career: It was a good tip for many years to get into tech, but AI and coporate greed seems to be quite devastating. Sorry that you are now suffering from this shit situation. I do hope that you will find another job so that you can move out. Is there anyone who can help you with it or maybe give a recommendation? I don't really know what to say really but just want to help you so that can get better
Thank you a bunch. I got a recommendation for a larger company but it seems they're not hiring for any roles I'm qualified for. Right place wrong time situation. But i will keep looking.
 
EmptyBottle

EmptyBottle

:3 Can be offline/online semi randomly.
Apr 10, 2025
1,601
Yeah. Unfortunately distraction can only do so much, if the main issue doesn't go awaya it just gets less and less effective. My depression has gotten so bad that even playing games is a chore cause it uses too much brain power. And watching things is also a chore cause i can't be assed to read subtitles and reading is a chore too. Only social media has helped recently and honestly it has been showing more and more depressing stuff. So i need to hurry up and get a full time job so i can solve my main issues.
Sadly, the social media use could negatively influence depression while masking that effect when browsing. Maybe, one can search random stuff to get the algorithm to give different stuff, and help combat that effect?
 
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hoppybunny

hoppybunny

Fearer of the Future
Jun 26, 2024
250
Sadly, the social media use could negatively influence depression while masking that effect when browsing. Maybe, one can search random stuff to get the algorithm to give different stuff, and help combat that effect?
I try to keep it to memes and educational content which i recommend to most ppl to prevent envy or FOMO. I really only get envious of artists and I've never been one to get envious of lifestyle posts but i agree social media can be worse if u look at stuff that makes u feel bad.
 

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