How to ask my mom to give me back my DS Lite

[noname223]

You recently travelled to Europe. Aren't you able just to buy a new DS lite? Maybe a used one.

By the way such titles make it look like this forum was filled with minors.

 

[RemainingDubious]

based on what @sserafim has said about her in the past

is the reason i'm suggesting @sserafim remind her mother how unreasonable she is being "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" Luke 6:31 and Matthew 7:12.

I don't see how pissing off somebody who has already threatened to kick you out in the past is a good idea.

Threats are often fictitious and use a persons fears against them. The fact:

she didn't like me wasting my life on video games

Shows she isn't going to allow @sserafim to waste what's left of her life, uncomfortable being homeless and possibly even being partly responsible for the demise of her daughter.

You understand the relationship, right?

Yes

OP is a NEET with a college degree living with her mom and paying no rent.

OP is a person with her own thoughts and feelings. Her circumstances do not define her, you make her sound sub human.

The mom has all the power.

That isn't true. The mom cares more about what the OP is doing with her life, hence the reason she felt entitled to take the DS Lite.

The mom wouldn't knowingly make the OP's life unbearable (knowingly is the key word)

Does the mom actually know how much the DS Lite means to her daughter? Does she know how unreasonable she is being?

go physically take something from the mom like the mom is a child? Have you really though about how that would play out? Like if your mom grounds you, you just ground her back and say 'see, doesn't feel so good, huh?' That's absurd because the child has no authority.

OP is not a child. OP did not sign up to her mom being her mother and being dictated to (OP did not agree to her mother having authority over her for as long as she lives)

Both people are people with their own thoughts and feelings.

The mom only has the authority that the OP allows her to have.

The mom believes the daughter owes her infinitely for the free room, board, food, amenities, etc. I don't think she's going to learn a lesson or see OP taking something as being comparable.

That is the mom's belief. That belief is her problem not the OP's.

OP did not ask to be born and did not ask to be the daughter of her mom. If the mom feels entitled to be controlling for providing her daughter the basics then that's on her and would show she only provided what she did for her own selfish reasons and not due to loving her daughter unconditionally.

 

[katara]

If my mom is mad i know it has nothing to do with me. i would just ask if there's something she needs help with. Maybe she sees you playing your game instead of doing stuff and she thinks the games are distracting you from being productive. You could send her a text and ask her to tell you if she needs help with something. Or specifically ask if she took the console BECAUSE she needed help with something. It's probably not anything too crazy, just laundry or something like that.

 

[Pluto]

Apparently there really is a cat picture for every possible situation.

 

[derpyderpins]

is the reason i'm suggesting @sserafim remind her mother how unreasonable she is being "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" Luke 6:31 and Matthew 7:12.


Threats are often fictitious and use a persons fears against them. The fact:

Shows she isn't going to allow @sserafim to waste what's left of her life, uncomfortable being homeless and possibly even being partly responsible for the demise of her daughter.


Yes


OP is a person with her own thoughts and feelings. Her circumstances do not define her, you make her sound sub human.


That isn't true. The mom cares more about what the OP is doing with her life, hence the reason she felt entitled to take the DS Lite.

The mom wouldn't knowingly make the OP's life unbearable (knowingly is the key word)

Does the mom actually know how much the DS Lite means to her daughter? Does she know how unreasonable she is being?


OP is not a child. OP did not sign up to her mom being her mother and being dictated to (OP did not agree to her mother having authority over her for as long as she lives)

Both people are people with their own thoughts and feelings.

The mom only has the authority that the OP allows her to have.



That is the mom's belief. That belief is her problem not the OP's.

OP did not ask to be born and did not ask to be the daughter of her mom. If the mom feels entitled to be controlling for providing her daughter the basics then that's on her and would show she only provided what she did for her own selfish reasons and not due to loving her daughter unconditionally.

I did not make her sound "sub human" good Lord. I'm being realistic about her situation. (I have to laugh, I remember something similar being said when I suggested she might benefit from a human connection. I was told I was infantilising her and treating her badly and not accepting who she is and now she can't stop shamelessly flirting with her boyfriend.)

OP has agreed to continue the parent-child paradigm by staying there. She regularly criticizes people who choose to move out of their parent's house. Well, this is one of the downsides of her choice.

OP agrees to her mom's rules and authority every day she stays there. While you're right she has no obligation to obey her mom forever, her mom has no (legally or socially recognized) obligation to house and feed her forever.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

You'll need to negotiate with her. She gives you your DS and you give her something she want - sending CVs, helping out in the house, ask her what she wants in return and do that.

She is the owner of the house, you live in her house so it's her rules. That's what sucks about being dependant on others and you are your mother's dependant.

If you want control over your circumstances and your belongings, you need to be independent. There is no other way.

 

[RemainingDubious]

I did not make her sound "sub human" good Lord.

OP is a NEET with a college degree living with her mom and paying no rent. The mom has all the power.

the child has no authority.

free room, board, food, amenities, etc

You make the OP sound like a burden and like her mom has a right to take her property if she personally doesn't view it as contributing to what she personally views as a meaningful "life"

The OP has her own thoughts and feelings. Just because her mom chose to allow her to stay there it doesn't mean the OP has to think and feel the same way her mom does. She is still an individual with her own wants and needs. She is still allowed her own personal possessions.

Are you sure you're not jealous the OP doesn't have to pay rent, gets free food, amenities, etc?

now she can't stop shamelessly flirting with her boyfriend.

Again are you jealous?

OP has agreed to continue thr parent-child paradigm by staying there.

So you think the OP should act like a child and take any punishment that comes her way without any complaint?

her mom has no (legally or socially recognized) obligation to house and feed her forever.

Exactly, she does so for her own personal reasons. The OP is not required to do anything in return. The OP is not required to accept her mother's viewpoints.

 

[derpyderpins]

You make the OP sound like a burden and like her mom has a right to take her property if she personally doesn't view it as contributing to what she personally views as a meaningful "life"

She is a burden. Her mom can set the rules.

The OP has her own thoughts and feelings. Just because her mom chose to allow her to stay there it doesn't mean the OP has to think and feel the same way her mom does.

Her mom can set the conditions for her to remain. Her mom has the choice to name her terms for providing a living.

She is still an individual with her own wants and needs.

Yes

She is still allowed her own personal possessions.

I tried telling that to the IRS but they still took my taxes and repossessed my stuff.

Are you sure you're not jealous the OP doesn't have to pay rent, gets free food, amenities, etc?

I am envious

Again are you jealous?

I'm engaged to someone who is excellent. I'm happy for @sserafim , who I consider a friend. I do think she should learn a little class and modesty.

So you think the OP should act like a child and take any punishment that comes her way without any complaint?

She can complain. She can talk. She can negotiate. She can reason. I objected to your suggestion that she start taking things from her caregiver.

Exactly, she does so for her own personal reasons. The OP is not required to do anything in return. The OP is not required to accept her mother's viewpoints.

You missed the point. With no obligation, the mom can set the rules. It's not a "viewpoint," it's a requirement of the verbal contract for residency.

You recently travelled to Europe. Aren't you able just to buy a new DS lite? Maybe a used one.

I would've thought this was one of her copy-pasted threads from the NEET/incel places if she hasn't talked about her mom taking her consoles before.

 

[pollux]

View attachment 143722

Pikachu has Volt Tackle, 90 Base Speed and Light Ball. What does Eevee have? STAB Double Edge?

 

[Pluto]

 

[EvisceratedJester]

is the reason i'm suggesting @sserafim remind her mother how unreasonable she is being "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" Luke 6:31 and Matthew 7:12.


Threats are often fictitious and use a persons fears against them.

First off, I don't think @sserafim family is Christian considering the fact that she mentioned her grandfather talking to her about reincarnation. Secondly, threats usually being fictitious doesn't really matter. Even if a threat is fictitious it is likely going to anger whoever is being threatened.

 

[sserafim]

Pikachu has Volt Tackle, 90 Base Speed and Light Ball. What does Eevee have? STAB Double Edge?

Shadow Ball. Vulpix has Dark Pulse. Anyways, I beat Dialga with them and was already at the post-game

 

[RemainingDubious]

She is a burden.

I am envious

I'm happy for @sserafim, who I consider a friend. I do think she should learn a little class and modesty.

Friends don't view friends as a burden.

Your envy is on you, that's your personal problem. It isn't fair to belittle others especially when they didn't ask to be in a position that you're envious of.

Are you OP's mom? If not what authority do you have to say she should learn a little class and modesty?

Everything you have belongs to your mom while you live there.

Do you actually believe that? If so:

I'm engaged to someone who is excellent.

i hope they never move in with you and become your slave, as it sounds like you have some serious control issues and a complete lack of respect for individuality.

 

[derpyderpins]

Friends don't view friends as a burden.

Your envy is on you, that's your personal problem. It isn't fair to belittle others especially when they didn't ask to be in a position that you're envious of.

Friends don't just tell friends whatever they want to hear. My best friends tell me the honest truth. The people who aren't her friends are the ones who don't acknowledge downsides to her lifestyle. The people who aren't her friends insisted she was asexual aromantic a-everything because she thought she might be and then said I wasn't acting like a friend for suggesting she not jump to that conclusion. This place is great but also becomes a negative echo chamber. I appreciate her because she's told me some hard truths I've needed to hear.

Are you OP's mom? If not what authority do you have to say she should learn a little class and modesty?

It was a suggestion. I think everyone should work on understanding time and place. A

Do you actually believe that? If so:

i hope they never move in with you and become your slave, as it sounds like you have some serious control issues and a complete lack of respect for individuality.

No I don't literally believe her mom owns her stuff. But she effectively does because of the situation.

I do live with her. She's not my "slave," lol. If anything she's in charge.

 

[bed]

thread's gone waaay off-topic. going to lock it :)