Discussion how old were you when you first attempted? (poll)

[manyhours]

ive had several attempts on my life over the years, the first time being when i was 10-11, i scoured the kitchen and bathroom cabinets for any pills i could find, thinking if i took enough of everything maybe itd do something (it did not, and most of them were likely just vitamins and pain killers)

i had 3 more attempts i can remember from the ages of 16-18, the first being an impulsive hanging attempt after a breakup, the second being an attempt at the nightnight method (when i first discovered this site), and the third being an attempt at partial hanging, i had plenty of minor plans/tests sprinkled throughout but those 3 were the most significant

im 19 now, and just had my 5th attempt a few hours ago, i thought itd be the last but i couldnt overcome SI

i only made this account a few days ago and didnt think id be alive long enough to actually consider posting anything, but now im sitting on the floor post-panic attack with no clue where to go from here, so i figured nows a good time to try to find some community and maybe relate to others's experiences

what was you first attempt like and how old were you when it happened?

 

[IdentityDoe]

Under 10 years old when I tried using rat poison to end myself. Luckily I failed or it would've been really bad... This was mainly due to stress at school... You know the whole forcing you to be in a place you don't want to be at. You've got to love it.

 

[GodzillasBiggestFan]

my first attempts were at nine years old. i tried to suffocate myself but didn't know what i was doing very well.

 

[eeah]

never

 

[dangerstars]

10 years old, tried to strangle myself in the bathroom, my mom heard me coughing and made fun of me. lol

 

[FuneralCry]

I haven't properly as after all I exist in this evil anti-suicide world where humans have made into a crime to cease existing peacefully in a way that is guaranteed, to me anti-suicide truly is such horrific extreme cruelty.

I always suffer so unbearably from how I cannot just cease existing in peace with no risks of it going wrong and leading to way worse torture and it's horrific how there is no limit as to how much one can suffer in this existence, the suffering of existing is endless, it's just criminal to me how humans even have to fear trying to cease existing going wrong and leading to terrible damage. It truly is the most devastating tragedy how this existence that just causes all this terrible harm and suffering was even imposed at all yet humans want to do all they can to make it so others are tortured for as long as possible, it truly is a terrible punishment to exist, only non-existence is positive for me, only in non-existence will I be at peace from the torture and evil of existing.

 

[Arvayn]

My first intentional attempt? 17 years old.
Before that, though, I did do a lot of things as a child that could be registered as suicidal. I knew that they were very dangerous and yet I simply didn't care, though I wasn't exactly looking to die, I was just looking to entertain myself. I've fallen down multiple floors, swam as far out into the sea as I possibly could, consumed way too much medicine at once, rode down treacherous hills at full speed without any safety equipment, and more that I am forgetting.

The fabled 'SI' doesn't really exist for me.

 

[itsgone2]

In hs, not sure my age, was drinking and impulsively decided to lay down on train tracks. Laid there for a bit. Nothing came.
I was right. I should have waited. Would have been a net benefit to the world. Not sure why i didn't try again.

I'm upset no trains came