I'm 20 years old and it's hard to say how long I've been depressed. I'm not even 100% sure if I have depression, because I don't want to diagnose myself, but most likely yes, because the symptoms theoretically match the vast majority of them. My mental decline started when I was about 15, but it wasn't straight away depression (or maybe it was, I don't know). I started completely ignoring school and any development because I thought in my head that it made no sense. I also had the thought that if something went wrong, I could CTB at any time (then my plan was to throw myself in front of the train). I also started hanging out with some shady people and was close to becoming some kind of drug dealer or something, but at some point it all ended. This was due to the fact that when I was about 17 years old, the greatest decline took place and it continues to this day, in various forms. I used to usually feel sad and empty. Now it's more indifference, emptiness, anger, but also, in a sense, joy.