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Mikulal1995

Mikulal1995

A bipolar, depressive mess.
Jul 15, 2018
38
As I prepare for my very possible exit I keep thinking about what's going to happen after I die. I think about some people I love and some of my good, close friends. I see people around me with fulfilled, simpler lives and I want them to know that my decision wasn't without thought— that it was in fact selfless. Sometimes I envision myself leaving my will and a letter for each important person, which would be ten at the most. In my will I would stipulate what to do with my bank accounts and belongings. I would likely write a few checks to those whom I believe need it most with a personal letter attached to the note.

But I also wonder: what the fuck would be the point? I'd be dead and as far as I'm concerned. Maybe the checks and a will would help my family sort out the mess after I'm dead, but part of me wants to punish them with the pain of finding me and having to deal with everything that comes after.

Any of you think about this often?
 
ManWithNoName

ManWithNoName

Enlightened
Feb 2, 2019
1,224
but part of me wants to punish them with the pain of finding me and having to deal with everything that comes after.

Any of you think about this often?
All due respect, taking your life to punish someone, or numerous people is NOT a good reason to call it quits.

You really must re-think this.
 
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M

Morphinekiss

Enlightened
Jun 8, 2019
1,207
It's painful either way. I found my brother. I found all his notes, his instructions, etc. My family has punished ourselves more than anything he did ever could have. Having directions only made it easier in the legal aspect.
 
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Mikulal1995

Mikulal1995

A bipolar, depressive mess.
Jul 15, 2018
38
All due respect, taking your life to punish someone, or numerous people is NOT a good reason to call it quits.

You really must re-think this.

That's not the goal. It would be a small addition to express how invisible I felt during the time something could have been done about me but was willfully ignored. Please consider my whole post again with this in mind! If you still disagree I'd love to know why and why and why. I want to get as many answers as I can get.
 
LifeIsNotFun

LifeIsNotFun

Mage
Jun 1, 2019
530
A note usually tells people why you did it, and gives your closing comments before you CTB. If you just CTB and don't leave anything, it leaves a lot of unanswered questions. Either way, its going to traumatic for your loved ones, but thats life. Time will heal everything in the end, and death is just a process of organic life.
 
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