Mort
No use to know one
- Feb 15, 2019
- 622
Hello as the title says now much do you hate your self ? Me i just despise my self so much cant look in the mirror any more last time I did i ended up ripping the mirror off the wall.
I don't hate myself, I hate other people.
dandan
One more attempt on life.
- Feb 18, 2019
- 1,298
I dont hate myself, I hate that i lost so much time , and that finally I recovered, but im not good at nothing, so I am finding it hard to make a living
I used to feel overwhelmed by a sense of alienation from the world. I used to feel ashamed and inadequate. Ashamed to even breath the air. This made me hate myself and my inability to be like everyone else who seemed well-adjusted and functioning.
That was then.
Now, I simply am. I have no feelings towards myself. I am a face among billions of other faces. A drop of water in the sea. I don't matter, and so I don't think about myself in terms of love or hate.
That was then.
Now, I simply am. I have no feelings towards myself. I am a face among billions of other faces. A drop of water in the sea. I don't matter, and so I don't think about myself in terms of love or hate.
MsMaudlin
This is the fierce last stand of all I am
- Dec 8, 2019
- 875
Lots.
I only look in the mirror to put my make up on.
That's one too many times.
I only look in the mirror to put my make up on.
That's one too many times.
Majin K.
too weak for this world
- Jan 9, 2020
- 232
"I'm weak, pathetic, fragile and worthless."
I have repeated that sentence everyday multiple times in my head for the past 4 years.
I have repeated that sentence everyday multiple times in my head for the past 4 years.
Shero
Experienced
- Dec 19, 2019
- 274
I can't tell you exactly how much i despise myself, but i deserve every moment of suffering i've ever felt. The thought of ctb infliges more hatred towards myself, because i don't deserve a way out.
Isittimetogonola
Kindness is a weakness to be taken advantage by al
- Oct 22, 2019
- 198
I don't necessarily feel hate but just as a burden to everyone around. I don't feel anything anymore. I have been self harming just to try and feel something. Even that is escalating into more extremes. It scares me and disappoints me that at this stage in life it has become logical to leave before I hurt anyone else. My friends and family tell me I am loved but it is hard to believe and accept.
k75
L'appel du Vide
- Jun 27, 2019
- 2,546
I don't hate myself. I'm just in pain.
Alot. I'm very self-destructive
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AlexM
To find the outer edge
- Oct 31, 2019
- 125
I don't hate myself or someone. My depression was without that, perhaps it is atypically. Even my attempt to die wasn't relate with hate myself it was just suffering seemed unbearable. Maybe that is why I am quite quickly recovering. On the other hand - I feeling nothing, and absence hate myself is just a part of a huge scorched of my emotional universe.
I don't hate myself. I hate that I don't have the means to be the me I can be.
sadgirl2002
Fallen Angel
- Apr 9, 2019
- 452
I have an extreme hatred towards myself, both in my appearance and who I've become on the inside. I also hate scum humans a lot. I'm a very self-destructive person.
AlexM
To find the outer edge
- Oct 31, 2019
- 125
Yes it was. Healing is aimed at reduce the suffering, that helped me to learn to live with my disappointment.
It depends on the day. I don't necessarily hate everything about myself, but I loathe my appearance and health/living situations. The only thing I don't dislike is my mind, I'm still fairly smart when I want to be.
Soulless_Angel
existence is futile
- Jul 10, 2019
- 2,225
I loathe every single part of my being, just don't see the point of any of it!
TAW122
Emissary of the right to die.
- Aug 30, 2018
- 6,723
I despise myself pretty badly and I consider myself a pessimist realist and also partly a defeatist. There are times where I despise other people and just humanity as a whole (not each individual) as I figured that the human race itself sucks and human nature sucks (myself included). Hence when I CTB, I would be doing myself as well as the world a favor (mostly to end my suffering).
DrummerWhoLovesMilk
Drifter
- Feb 8, 2020
- 21
I hate myself enough to be on this website for the past 6 months seriously considering suicide. Seriously though, my self hatred is pretty high. I have just been diagnosed with BPD and had an epic manic phase about a year ago. slapped my cousin, went to my grandparents church and told someone that I feel that priest is raping kids, scared the shit out of my parents, lost my friends, got a DWI on a bicycle, went to the psych ward 3 times, and spend about 60 days in jail. Now I am back at home with extreme agoraphobia from having the police chase me down in my court (afraid to see neighbors.) Plus, I'm on probation for 2 years and can't leave the state, which I've been wanting to do for the past 10 years. Between the guilt and self hatred, I don't want to see anyone know and am crossed in between offing my crazy ass or moving to a third world country...
Wow... what a story . I didn't know u could get a DWI on a bicycle. I'm sorry to what has ever got u to this point
DrummerWhoLovesMilk
Drifter
- Feb 8, 2020
- 21
Yeah, the DWI on a bike is a real thing. I thought it was just a legend as well. The worst part about this is I have done it to myself.
Anyone want to move to Cambodia? This is my last resort before offing myself. I think being in a completely world different location might snap me out of this. You can teach English without a college degree making about $1000-1500 a month. Rent is around $150. Cost of living is cheap. Plus, I'm hoping to gain perspective on what struggling actually looks like. If living still is a burden, you can buy heroin at a pharmacy without a prescription and CTB relatively pain free.
Anyone want to move to Cambodia? This is my last resort before offing myself. I think being in a completely world different location might snap me out of this. You can teach English without a college degree making about $1000-1500 a month. Rent is around $150. Cost of living is cheap. Plus, I'm hoping to gain perspective on what struggling actually looks like. If living still is a burden, you can buy heroin at a pharmacy without a prescription and CTB relatively pain free.
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I'm leaving the country as well. Can you really buy heroin that easy there?!? Seems like a dream come true
Jean4
Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
- Apr 28, 2019
- 7,557
Thank you for this. I couldn't have said it any better.
DrummerWhoLovesMilk
Drifter
- Feb 8, 2020
- 21
waterbottleman
Not a person
- Sep 30, 2019
- 721
I don't hate myself. I don't think I'm an amazing person, I'm no hero, don't volunteer, and I don't have any amazing accomplishments either. However I know I'm not a bad person either. I'm a decent person with good intentions, I'm kind to others and have always cared about other people's feelings, I think I'm fairly smart as well (I went to a tough university, majored in math, and graduated with a 3.5 GPA so I think that counts for something).
What I hate is how other people treat me and have treated me my whole life. People have frequently disrespected me and taken advantage of my softhearted and kind nature. I think a lot of women are turned off by my child like innocence and selflessness as well.
I often hear people tell people like me online that I should be more selfish and be a less sensitive person. But I am who I am, you can't just change a fundamental part of who you are. Also I like being who I am, I dont want to be pretend to be someone I'm not (I tried that in high school for a while and didn't like it).
I don't think the world is meant for people with personalities like mine. I think to survive in this world, especially as a man, you have to reach a certain threshold of selfishness and insensitivity that I simply don't meet. I'm not saying that you have to be a selfish person to survive, rather I'm saying that if your personality is particularly innocent and your nature is particularly softhearted that you'll struggle in life because other people will disrespect you or take advantage of you.
Lastly I'd like to say that I dont dislike people either, I like people. I just dont understan why so many people are cruel to others and disrespect people like me, yet simultaneously people say the world needs more kind people? People are confusing, ha and yet I still like people unconditionally.
So in conclusion I'm fine with who I am, I just don't think who I am fits with how the world really is.
If the world was a puzzle then I am a piece that doesn't fit. I'm fine with the piece that I am, but it's a shame that I don't fit.
I have a degree in Math, I wouldn't mind teaching Math and English, although I'd prefer being a math teacher. Problem is i don't speak Thai so idk if you can teach math without speaking the native language.
What I hate is how other people treat me and have treated me my whole life. People have frequently disrespected me and taken advantage of my softhearted and kind nature. I think a lot of women are turned off by my child like innocence and selflessness as well.
I often hear people tell people like me online that I should be more selfish and be a less sensitive person. But I am who I am, you can't just change a fundamental part of who you are. Also I like being who I am, I dont want to be pretend to be someone I'm not (I tried that in high school for a while and didn't like it).
I don't think the world is meant for people with personalities like mine. I think to survive in this world, especially as a man, you have to reach a certain threshold of selfishness and insensitivity that I simply don't meet. I'm not saying that you have to be a selfish person to survive, rather I'm saying that if your personality is particularly innocent and your nature is particularly softhearted that you'll struggle in life because other people will disrespect you or take advantage of you.
Lastly I'd like to say that I dont dislike people either, I like people. I just dont understan why so many people are cruel to others and disrespect people like me, yet simultaneously people say the world needs more kind people? People are confusing, ha and yet I still like people unconditionally.
So in conclusion I'm fine with who I am, I just don't think who I am fits with how the world really is.
If the world was a puzzle then I am a piece that doesn't fit. I'm fine with the piece that I am, but it's a shame that I don't fit.
Ive thought about doing the same thing except in Thailand.
I have a degree in Math, I wouldn't mind teaching Math and English, although I'd prefer being a math teacher. Problem is i don't speak Thai so idk if you can teach math without speaking the native language.
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I was thinking about Senegal or Belize. Maybe Ghana
I hated myself so much I aborted all my kids. In many ways abortion is like suicide because u are taking out your future, genes die out if u don't have kids. But u are not necessarily thinking that way when u are making this decision. I wasn't consciously thinking how will I feel about this down the road or the consequences to my future self. This is the danger in making it too easy to access. You can destroy a civilization when too many kids are not being born and too many women are choosing to abort.
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Mr2005
Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
- Sep 25, 2018
- 3,622
It's not possible that I could hate myself any more and still be alive
I hate myself very much for everything I've done and causing pain for others. I hate myself for being still alive.
not-2-b-the-answer
Archangel
- Mar 23, 2018
- 9,021
I don't hate myself enough to rip the mirror off the wall but I say "I hate ME" when I look in the mirror all the time. I need the mirror for when I shave.
I hate BOTH !!!
I'm not good at anything either ... so I will be working shit jobs until I die.
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