Discussion How many of you really tried getting better but it didnt work?

[Capsaicin78]

Im talking about like therapy, self-improvement, medication, altruism... all that stuff you know?

In my case I tried everything. I tried and tried but nothing ever worked. I still hate myself. I still hate the world we live in.

Currently I'm really seeing that suicide is the only available option to me.

 

[Darkover]

there is no getting better if your life starts off shit it will stay shit
only a few people ever become rich in this world the rest remain slaves for the rest of thier miserable lives

 

[LookingOverTheEdge]

I'm about to make a last ditch effort to turn things around for myself, so I guess I'll let you know. I don't hold out much hope, but at least I'll know I tried I guess.

 

[LastFlowers]

I'm not "sick", so can't get better.
Can't change circumstances, they have only become progressively worse.
Although I certainly have tried exhaustively to address them and/or change them..took some wrong turns and ended up worse off.
Too much time has passed, opportunities nonexistent or wasted, other missteps taken (usually of no fault of my own), etc etc etc..and now I must admit defeat, it's become downright insane to continue living.
It's actually more irrational of me to stay alive than to just get things over with.
Has been that way for awhile.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I was involved in much self improvement - therapy, intense exercise - until a collapse revealed how little progress I had made, how much I'd been failing for decades.

 

[DeadManLiving]

Im talking about like therapy, self-improvement, medication, altruism... all that stuff you know?

In my case I tried everything. I tried and tried but nothing ever worked. I still hate myself. I still hate the world we live in.

Currently I'm really seeing that suicide is the only available option to me.

It's like rolling a stone uphill. Except, it's an illusion. You're actually going downhill, back to ground Zero. All this work, just to start at absolute zero, facing not only the tailwinds of past regrets, but also the fiercer headwinds ahead. In most cases, the idea of it'll get better is only an illusion and a mirage. It often only gets better, to get thrice as worse.

From an alternative perspective, yes a very small fraction of people do get lucky by a stroke of Fortune and find their miracle. For the rest, the statistical probabilities and odds are far from realistically ideal.

Suicide is not a decision to be taken lightly, nor impulsively. It takes a lot of soul searching and sometimes years for the prospect of the realization that you're actually going to die and there's no coming back to sink in. At some point after so much soul-searching you have to make a decision. By making a decision I mean an actual decision, a non-negotiable, legally binding one-way Street absolute concrete decision that you're going to pull the plug, regardless of any spontaneous outcome. No matter if you win the lottery or find the love of your life, or both - an agreement is an agreement, it's non-negotiable.


It's like signing your own death warrant. When you have made that decision after so much soul-searching and introspective thought, you have to stick to it. Otherwise it's just going to be suicidal ideation from year to year to year to year going on and off and then it's going to be 3 to 5 years from now on the same shit different year, suffering for half a decade for absolutely nothing but decision paralysis.


Whatever you are now in the process, I hope you find your peace and make the correct decision.

 

[Kurushii]

I've tried therapy 5 or so times and I hated it every time. Like.. talking to some random person for an hour about about my personal issues and then get told the session's over does me no favours. Everyone just tells you to do therapy when you talk about your problems, like it's a one-size-fits-all.. it's not.

As for self-improvement, I have made a few attempts for making myself a better person, but at the end of the night, I end up slipping and tend to lose the good habits I was trying to build up. I could do better but it's just hard most times. Like what's the point if I'm just going to die anyway?

I heard plenty of people having negative experiences with medication growing up so I always avoided getting prescriptions from the therapist/doctor person. I was told that some people need them, but I think fortunately I don't need them and I dislike the idea of needing drugs to regulate my feelings and emotions anyway.

I don't know much about altruism, but I think it might be fun to learn about?

I hope your last ditch effort works, LookingOverTheEdge!

 

[LookingOverTheEdge]

I hope your last ditch effort works, LookingOverTheEdge!

That's very kind of you to say. Thank you

 

[UKscotty]

What does 'getting better' even mean?
Learning to accept we live in world where 99% are slaves to a system so the 1% can live in obscene luxury.

The only purpose and meaning to life is to breed more humans to again be slaves, keeping the cycle going.

 

[Regen]

In the past I tried really a lot of therapy and medication.... But I tried not all, there are things I dont want to do, for example lithium, ECT, longer rehab, living in a house with other people with mental problems.

I have decided that in 2023 I will try everything again to feel much better. I have a feeling it will be my really last try. And I wish that I manage to try as much as possible.

I want to try nearly anything people say that can help. I'm doing a list of things to do about depression. Even though I can't believe it will help me - I will do it anyway.

If I feel better in a year I'll let you know... :-/

If it works I will leave this site. Even though I really love this community.

Others who have been on the road to recovery have left here. So a survey is not representative. The majority of people who are still active on this site will not have been successful with their previous attempts at recovery - otherwise they would not be here :-(

I feel so sorry, that your recovery does not work for you. It is really difficult. I wish you can find a way to be in peace with your life and your decisions, wether you will live or you will dy. I wish you peace in your heart and the feeling of love.

 

[MyLifeisHell]

Yup. But we'll always be accused of not doing or trying more.

 

[spacegirl]

every day i try so many things—ive done therapy, exercise, meditation, mindfulness exercises, journaling, art, music, self help books/podcasts/videos, yoga, self affirmation statements, medication, etc. but i still find myself coming back here to this forum, full of self-disgust and loneliness and hopelessness. im so tired

 

[Anonymus]

If I improve I improve, the problem is that I improve more slowly than things around me get worse.
//
Si millorar jo milloro, el problema es que milloro més lentament del que les coses del meu voltant empitjoren.

 

[hellispink]

Some of us are meant to just suffer. I tried everything and put my most biggest effort, talking about hours of self discipline and so on. But the world is not for the weak like me and it has to be accepted.

 

[No longer suicidal😁]

Some of us are meant to just suffer. I tried everything and put my most biggest effort, talking about hours of self discipline and so on. But the world is not for the weak like me and it has to be accepted.

This.

It feels as if normal people behave like robots. They fit in the system where we fail. They're mostly oblivious of its flaws, but ignorance is a bliss I guess.

I tried taking antidepressants as well as going to therapy, nothing worked.

 

[Tried-tireD]

I tried almost everything that professionals and others have told me to do. Just to get a massive relapse and start from damn scratch. Even believed in medication.
I've come to believe that the conventional ways of recovery that pro-lifers shove down our throats simply don't work for me. There's still one last thing I can do, but it's mostly to spite them and truly show that nothing works. To show how wrong they are. I postponed my CTB date for this ffs :/

 

[ready to go....]

I tried most things.
I spoke to my GP which ended up with being put on medication and attending therapy sessions and regular GP sessions, even had a short amount of time spent in the psychiatric ward.
I even changed jobs as I thought it was my job at the time, but have since quit the job I went to as it wasn't that, and it just made things worse.
I gave dating another go which ended in being cheated on.
I've come to the conclusion that I'm just not meant to be happy or live a good life. I am miserable and exhausted, and trying to better myself has just made things worse. I'm on my last legs now and will be attempting again soon, 3rd time lucky I guess!

 

[disorder]

Im talking about like therapy, self-improvement, medication, altruism... all that stuff you know?

In my case I tried everything. I tried and tried but nothing ever worked. I still hate myself. I still hate the world we live in.

Currently I'm really seeing that suicide is the only available option to me.

yes and that's why i'm here hahaha

 

[Rainy_days]

Yes I've tried most things that are commonly suggested. And not just for a day, some of them I put years into or am still doing. None of it has fixed my inner brokenness. I think people judge me like I am just doing nothing but I really have tried.

 

[oneeyed]

Life goes up and down and pro lifers will never let an opportunity go to remind you of that. While this is true, I look at it at a larger point of view and the up's and downs progressively go down. Best analogy I can think of is when you look at a stock ticker for the year and there's peaks and valleys. Then you look at the same ticker over 5 years and it's value progressively gets worse.

 

[Capsaicin78]

Yup. But we'll always be accused of not doing or trying more.

this.

 

[epic]

It's not a matter of try , the disease is getting worse and there is nothing that's working. If it was a matter of "try" most people would have done it already.

 

[Capsaicin78]

It's not a matter of try , the disease is getting worse and there is nothing that's working. If it was a matter of "try" most people would have done it already.

Hmm I get what you mean. Maybe there is too much influence from shrinks on me. For that I am sorry

 

[NoHorizon]

I've tried most things. Therapy, antidepressants, exercise, diet, sleep, meditation, self help books, philosophy, yoga etc. All have helped to varying degrees, but not to the extent where they have improved my life to the point of not still considering suicide as a serious option. Still trying, though. For now.

 

[epic]

Hmm I get what you mean. Maybe there is too much influence from shrinks on me. For that I am sorry

My previous comment was in context of my case . Maybe there are options for you which could still work. Could I ask what you are suffering from ?

 

[yyytry]

every day i try so many things—ive done therapy, exercise, meditation, mindfulness exercises, journaling, art, music, self help books/podcasts/videos, yoga, self affirmation statements, medication, etc. but i still find myself coming back here to this forum, full of self-disgust and loneliness and hopelessness. im so tired

The last thing I tried was integration into a community for a year. Like, full on effort.
Really thought it was gonna be "the way".

How foolish that was. My engagement in that was fuel to those who were already pre-set to the top. Many of those people are pre-picked in advance.

Just because someone says they came out of homelessness, doesn't mean it's true. It's just the backstory they use to instill hope to those who will ultimately fund them.

 

[Capsaicin78]

My previous comment was in context of my case . Maybe there are options for you which could still work. Could I ask what you are suffering from ?

depression, cptsd, anxiety. suffering brought to you by "the generous gift of life"

 

[MasterofMagic]

My life can't improve.

There's no point in trying to get better. I'm a lost cause.

 

[freevoid]

Yeah 15+ years of my own research and trials for my health shit, plus seeing gp's, specialists, doing the treatments and therapy and the medication they prescribed me...researched to the point where I knew more than my doctors. Spent all of my money trying to better my health.

Unfortunately no major improvements, and with each passing year some new health symptom/problem develops and most of the existing ones are getting worse. No savings. Haven't been able to work for 4 years.

I am the poster child of "trying". For some people life is just a steady route downhill, but it's too hard for people to emotionally cope with, hence the useless platitudes and un/intentional projection and gaslighting.

 

[Rairii]

Yep, I'm at my last stop before I just end it all if these final things don't work. It looks like the surgery I got for my bladder is not a fit for me which really leaves no feasible options for me anymore as far as treatment goes for that. I'll have to talk to my urologist soon and actually see though if thats the case. Then as far as mental health goes, I'm seeing a new therapist and I'm going to try my best and see what happens but I'm so burned out. Honestly even if the therapy works, if my bladder stuff doesn't have any chance of improving then I'm CTB. I can't stand another 7 years of this physical illness. Especially when doctors are so ignorant about it or act like I'm exaggerating/faking things because nothing is helping. It's so freaking disheartening. It's even worse with regular people making jokes about it and give the worst advice on earth or act like they can relate to me because they've been pregnant or they drink a lot of water, etc. lol when they've never even expirenced an ounce of suffering thats comparable to what I go through every moment physically/mentally because of my bladder. I've been trying for so long but there's only so much I can do.