LunarLight
i'm a loser, a failure
- Apr 3, 2024
- 1,368
Well, you're the living proof it's not that hard to find it!Maybe I broke a record. It only took 5-ish minutes to scour threads and then find the source
Well, you're the living proof it's not that hard to find it!Maybe I broke a record. It only took 5-ish minutes to scour threads and then find the source
if you talk about DMC, you don't need to be a business, they sell to individuals.I used a search string and got a result, @CuriousEngineer, but a lot of places these days only sell to businesses and not individuals and what I found matches that, unfortunately? Do I need to look harder?
A few Polish chemical suppliers don't expect from you to be a business as well, and they're much cheaper than DMC. That having been said, good luck, my friend.Ah, thank you. Worth looking into that source and reading more threads as well, then, if I don't have to jump through business registration hoops.
Well, that's the reason why the protocol advises to ingest a massive dose (25g). 1g is supposed to be lethal.just a question if i throw most of it up will it even work. like if you immediately throw up? and i didn't get notifs for this thread for some reason
really? 1 g is deadly? that's crazy. i wonder why i saw some people throw up and then sleep it off and wake up. really odd. hopefully you are right. worst thing about suicide is that you are not certain if you really die from it very annoyingA few Polish chemical suppliers don't expect from you to be a business as well, and they're much cheaper than DMC. That having been said, good luck, my friend.
Well, that's the reason why the protocol advises to ingest a massive dose (25g). 1g is supposed to be lethal.
1g is the minimum lethal dose, meaning people died ingesting as little as 1g of SN. Of course everybody is different, so no general conclusions. One died ingesting 1g of SN when another one ingested 25g, threw up and didn't die.really? 1 g is deadly? that's crazy. i wonder why i saw some people throw up and then sleep it off and wake up. really odd. hopefully you are right. worst thing about suicide is that you are not certain if you really die from it very annoying
that sucks and is very confusing tbh. i hate that it's so uncertain. i wish you could somehow know your method was a 100%1g is the minimum lethal dose, meaning people died ingesting as little as 1g of SN. Of course everybody is different, so no general conclusions. One died ingesting 1g of SN when another one ingested 25g, threw up and didn't die.
There is no foolproof method. Even firearms can fail.that sucks and is very confusing tbh. i hate that it's so uncertain. i wish you could somehow know your method was a 100%
mmm well if you go far away from the shore and dive deep, so deep you have no way to get up then no one can save you. but on the list of scariest suicides thats one of the winners drowning is scary af. that's the only absolutely foolrpoof method i can think ofThere is no foolproof method. Even firearms can fail.
when i am stressed which is all the time now bcus of chronic illness. i just keep distressing myself with "i will soon drink two cups of SN" and it helps. it's like pain reliefit's high on my list.
At least N is not salty. It's the salt taste that I am apprehensive about. I've eaten wfpb for almost 15 years - so I haven't added salt to my food at home in almost 15 years. I can't tell you how many times I went out to a restaurant and couldn't finish even half of the meal because it was so salty since I am not used to it. I can't imagine just gulping down something salty like SN. Bitter, sour, just plain nasty - I can manage that. But not salty. I will throw up so much just because of that alone.N don't taste much better from what I've read! Some have called it terminator jizz! Especially expired N which i have , that's supposed to taste the worst of all
For me I think it's the opposite lol. I want it so badly that at this point I am willing to do anything possible to try and get it. I am a failure in life, I've accepted that already. So if I fail at finding N - that's the ultimate failure and even more reason to ctb lmao.For sanity reasons, I pretend N doesn't exist. Something so perfect yet difficult to acquire… no no it doesn't exist for real right ( :( )
Of course I speak Spanish. I wouldn't dare try if I didn't. In Peru it seems to be getting more difficult, yes, but reports are mixed. I may try Bolivia first since it seems like a less popular spot for this and therefore may turn out to be easier. Although with the fires and the political mess there right now, I am not sure if I'll be able to go. Won't be able to do anything until the beginning of the new year anyway, and by then things may change either for the best or for the worst down there. I'll keep you all posted on my progress.It's not impossible yet. But you better speak Spanish fluently and have a forged prescription! Authorities are aware of suicide tourism and more and more agrovet stores turn you away when you ask for Halatal.
damn i wish we could go seeking N together haha one last adventure. and i drank 3 teaspoons of salt in a tiny cup of tea once (by accident) i swallowed one big gulp and was immediately disgusted. but i didn't throw up. it was really nasty tho i still remember the taste vividly. and with N. there's this miracle berry pill that turns bitter and sour tastes into sweet tastes. maybe that can work.At least N is not salty. It's the salt taste that I am apprehensive about. I've eaten wfpb for almost 15 years - so I haven't added salt to my food at home in almost 15 years. I can't tell you how many times I went out to a restaurant and couldn't finish even half of the meal because it was so salty since I am not used to it. I can't imagine just gulping down something salty like SN. Bitter, sour, just plain nasty - I can manage that. But not salty. I will throw up so much just because of that alone.
With SN I am also apprehensive about the possible anxiety while I wait to get knocked out. I don't think I'll be able to get benzos. And even if I do, I won't have much time to experiment to see what kind and what amount would work for me best so idk. The whole protocol just seems so daunting and complicated to me.
For me I think it's the opposite lol. I want it so badly that at this point I am willing to do anything possible to try and get it. I am a failure in life, I've accepted that already. So if I fail at finding N - that's the ultimate failure and even more reason to ctb lmao.
Of course I speak Spanish. I wouldn't dare try if I didn't. In Peru it seems to be getting more difficult, yes, but reports are mixed. I may try Bolivia first since it seems like a less popular spot for this and therefore may turn out to be easier. Although with the fires and the political mess there right now, I am not sure if I'll be able to go. Won't be able to do anything until the beginning of the new year anyway, and by then things may change either for the best or for the worst down there. I'll keep you all posted on my progress.
there's this miracle berry pill that turns bitter and sour tastes into sweet tastes. maybe that can work.
that's why i said bitter and sour. doesn't work on saltyIt sounds like you're referring to https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synsepalum_dulcificum However, I've never heard, nor am I finding any information that indicates that it would have any effect at all on salty flavors. I.e. I would not expect it to be helpful in any way
that's why i said bitter and sour. doesn't work on salty
there's this miracle berry pill that turns bitter and sour tastes into sweet tastes. maybe that can work.
i was talking about N "and with N…" (because N also has a nasty taste), idk what's up with today. two people misunderstood me on forum. i think i spoke clearly, bitter and sour, sn is saltyAgreed, but you originally said [emphasis added]
Which got my hopes for a split second, and I was already somewhat familiar with. I just don't want others to have their expectations set up incorrectly.
true, but a shotgun in the mouth is pretty certain lolThere is no foolproof method. Even firearms can fail.
i'll give you one better. bomb in mouth. someone ctb that way. saw the picture. pretty fucjing sad considering his dad found him but in terms of foolproof..true, but a shotgun in the mouth is pretty certain lol
for sure. it's just so… nervous the whole time through. can't imagine not being nervous the whole time. the uncertainty is the worst. i worry about my poor stomach just vomiting it all out and not succeedingPlanning on using SN before the end of the year. Just waiting for a time I get a few days alone and it feels right to do it. My biggest worry is either SI kicking in at the last minute or something going wrong and failing.
i was talking about N "and with N…" (because N also has a nasty taste), idk what's up with today. two people misunderstood me on forum. i think i spoke clearly, bitter and sour, sn is salty
damn i wish we could go seeking N together haha one last adventure. and i drank 3 teaspoons of salt in a tiny cup of tea once (by accident) i swallowed one big gulp and was immediately disgusted. but i didn't throw up. it was really nasty tho i still remember the taste vividly. and with N. there's this miracle berry pill that turns bitter and sour tastes into sweet tastes. maybe that can work.
This is exactly the biggest problem with SN.SN is also my planned exit. The 10-20 minutes of waiting before lights out scares me more than the side effects, frankly.