LunarLight

LunarLight

i'm a loser, a failure
Apr 3, 2024
1,368
Maybe I broke a record. It only took 5-ish minutes to scour threads and then find the source
Well, you're the living proof it's not that hard to find it!
 
  • Like
Reactions: davidtorez, sevennn and wren-briar
MissingThyme

MissingThyme

Member
Nov 26, 2022
33
I used a search string and got a result, @CuriousEngineer, but a lot of places these days only sell to businesses and not individuals and what I found matches that, unfortunately? Do I need to look harder?
 
  • Like
Reactions: ladylazarus4, wren-briar and davidtorez
heavyeyes

heavyeyes

Oct 9, 2022
1,728
I'm going with sn
 
  • Like
Reactions: wren-briar and davidtorez
LunarLight

LunarLight

i'm a loser, a failure
Apr 3, 2024
1,368
I used a search string and got a result, @CuriousEngineer, but a lot of places these days only sell to businesses and not individuals and what I found matches that, unfortunately? Do I need to look harder?
if you talk about DMC, you don't need to be a business, they sell to individuals.
 
  • Like
Reactions: wren-briar and davidtorez
MissingThyme

MissingThyme

Member
Nov 26, 2022
33
Ah, thank you. Worth looking into that source and reading more threads as well, then, if I don't have to jump through business registration hoops.
 
  • Like
Reactions: wren-briar and davidtorez
sevennn

sevennn

Mage
Sep 11, 2024
565
just a question if i throw most of it up will it even work. like if you immediately throw up? 🤔 and i didn't get notifs for this thread for some reason
 
  • Like
Reactions: wren-briar and davidtorez
LunarLight

LunarLight

i'm a loser, a failure
Apr 3, 2024
1,368
Ah, thank you. Worth looking into that source and reading more threads as well, then, if I don't have to jump through business registration hoops.
A few Polish chemical suppliers don't expect from you to be a business as well, and they're much cheaper than DMC. That having been said, good luck, my friend.
just a question if i throw most of it up will it even work. like if you immediately throw up? 🤔 and i didn't get notifs for this thread for some reason
Well, that's the reason why the protocol advises to ingest a massive dose (25g). 1g is supposed to be lethal.
 
  • Informative
  • Like
Reactions: divinemistress36 and davidtorez
coolgal82

coolgal82

she/her, terminally silly :3
Sep 10, 2024
309
me most likely
 
  • Like
Reactions: wren-briar
Fate

Fate

Nothingness is blissful
Aug 10, 2024
83
I have both an inert gas setup and SN (And I'll probably go with the SN, but will have inert gas setup as a backup in case the symptoms with SN isn't nice and I want to try to speed it up)
 
  • Like
Reactions: wren-briar
sevennn

sevennn

Mage
Sep 11, 2024
565
A few Polish chemical suppliers don't expect from you to be a business as well, and they're much cheaper than DMC. That having been said, good luck, my friend.

Well, that's the reason why the protocol advises to ingest a massive dose (25g). 1g is supposed to be lethal.
really? 1 g is deadly? that's crazy. i wonder why i saw some people throw up and then sleep it off and wake up. really odd. hopefully you are right. worst thing about suicide is that you are not certain if you really die from it 🙄 very annoying
 
  • Like
Reactions: wren-briar
F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
9,531
Most probably.
 
  • Like
Reactions: wren-briar
LunarLight

LunarLight

i'm a loser, a failure
Apr 3, 2024
1,368
really? 1 g is deadly? that's crazy. i wonder why i saw some people throw up and then sleep it off and wake up. really odd. hopefully you are right. worst thing about suicide is that you are not certain if you really die from it 🙄 very annoying
1g is the minimum lethal dose, meaning people died ingesting as little as 1g of SN. Of course everybody is different, so no general conclusions. One died ingesting 1g of SN when another one ingested 25g, threw up and didn't die.
 
  • Informative
Reactions: divinemistress36 and wren-briar
sevennn

sevennn

Mage
Sep 11, 2024
565
1g is the minimum lethal dose, meaning people died ingesting as little as 1g of SN. Of course everybody is different, so no general conclusions. One died ingesting 1g of SN when another one ingested 25g, threw up and didn't die.
that sucks and is very confusing tbh. i hate that it's so uncertain. i wish you could somehow know your method was a 100%
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: alwayswonder, ladylazarus4 and wren-briar
LunarLight

LunarLight

i'm a loser, a failure
Apr 3, 2024
1,368
that sucks and is very confusing tbh. i hate that it's so uncertain. i wish you could somehow know your method was a 100%
There is no foolproof method. Even firearms can fail.
 
  • Like
  • Informative
Reactions: ladylazarus4 and wren-briar
sevennn

sevennn

Mage
Sep 11, 2024
565
There is no foolproof method. Even firearms can fail.
mmm well if you go far away from the shore and dive deep, so deep you have no way to get up then no one can save you. but on the list of scariest suicides thats one of the winners 😂 drowning is scary af. that's the only absolutely foolrpoof method i can think of
 
  • Like
Reactions: wren-briar
opheliaoveragain

opheliaoveragain

Eating Disordered Junkie
Jun 2, 2024
1,225
it's high on my list.
 
  • Like
Reactions: ladylazarus4 and wren-briar
sevennn

sevennn

Mage
Sep 11, 2024
565
it's high on my list.
when i am stressed which is all the time now bcus of chronic illness. i just keep distressing myself with "i will soon drink two cups of SN" and it helps. it's like pain relief
 
  • Like
Reactions: divinemistress36, ladylazarus4 and wren-briar
nihilistic_dragon

nihilistic_dragon

Dead already. Just need to dispose of my body now.
Aug 6, 2024
667
N don't taste much better from what I've read! Some have called it terminator jizz! Especially expired N which i have , that's supposed to taste the worst of all
At least N is not salty. It's the salt taste that I am apprehensive about. I've eaten wfpb for almost 15 years - so I haven't added salt to my food at home in almost 15 years. I can't tell you how many times I went out to a restaurant and couldn't finish even half of the meal because it was so salty since I am not used to it. I can't imagine just gulping down something salty like SN. Bitter, sour, just plain nasty - I can manage that. But not salty. I will throw up so much just because of that alone.

With SN I am also apprehensive about the possible anxiety while I wait to get knocked out. I don't think I'll be able to get benzos. And even if I do, I won't have much time to experiment to see what kind and what amount would work for me best so idk. The whole protocol just seems so daunting and complicated to me.
For sanity reasons, I pretend N doesn't exist. Something so perfect yet difficult to acquire… no no it doesn't exist for real right ( :( )
For me I think it's the opposite lol. I want it so badly that at this point I am willing to do anything possible to try and get it. I am a failure in life, I've accepted that already. So if I fail at finding N - that's the ultimate failure and even more reason to ctb lmao.
It's not impossible yet. But you better speak Spanish fluently and have a forged prescription! Authorities are aware of suicide tourism and more and more agrovet stores turn you away when you ask for Halatal.
Of course I speak Spanish. I wouldn't dare try if I didn't. In Peru it seems to be getting more difficult, yes, but reports are mixed. I may try Bolivia first since it seems like a less popular spot for this and therefore may turn out to be easier. Although with the fires and the political mess there right now, I am not sure if I'll be able to go. Won't be able to do anything until the beginning of the new year anyway, and by then things may change either for the best or for the worst down there. I'll keep you all posted on my progress.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Love
  • Hugs
Reactions: ladylazarus4, davidtorez, wren-briar and 1 other person
D

DOHARDTHINGS24

Specialist
Apr 30, 2024
379
🤞🏻
 
  • Like
Reactions: davidtorez and wren-briar
sevennn

sevennn

Mage
Sep 11, 2024
565
At least N is not salty. It's the salt taste that I am apprehensive about. I've eaten wfpb for almost 15 years - so I haven't added salt to my food at home in almost 15 years. I can't tell you how many times I went out to a restaurant and couldn't finish even half of the meal because it was so salty since I am not used to it. I can't imagine just gulping down something salty like SN. Bitter, sour, just plain nasty - I can manage that. But not salty. I will throw up so much just because of that alone.

With SN I am also apprehensive about the possible anxiety while I wait to get knocked out. I don't think I'll be able to get benzos. And even if I do, I won't have much time to experiment to see what kind and what amount would work for me best so idk. The whole protocol just seems so daunting and complicated to me.

For me I think it's the opposite lol. I want it so badly that at this point I am willing to do anything possible to try and get it. I am a failure in life, I've accepted that already. So if I fail at finding N - that's the ultimate failure and even more reason to ctb lmao.

Of course I speak Spanish. I wouldn't dare try if I didn't. In Peru it seems to be getting more difficult, yes, but reports are mixed. I may try Bolivia first since it seems like a less popular spot for this and therefore may turn out to be easier. Although with the fires and the political mess there right now, I am not sure if I'll be able to go. Won't be able to do anything until the beginning of the new year anyway, and by then things may change either for the best or for the worst down there. I'll keep you all posted on my progress.
damn i wish we could go seeking N together haha one last adventure. and i drank 3 teaspoons of salt in a tiny cup of tea once (by accident) i swallowed one big gulp and was immediately disgusted. but i didn't throw up. it was really nasty tho 🙈😭 i still remember the taste vividly. and with N. there's this miracle berry pill that turns bitter and sour tastes into sweet tastes. maybe that can work.
 
  • Like
Reactions: ladylazarus4 and davidtorez
W

wren-briar

wrenbriar.gitlab.io
Jul 1, 2024
241
  • Like
Reactions: noairtobreathe1 and ladylazarus4
W

wren-briar

wrenbriar.gitlab.io
Jul 1, 2024
241
that's why i said bitter and sour. doesn't work on salty

Agreed, but you originally said [emphasis added]

there's this miracle berry pill that turns bitter and sour tastes into sweet tastes. maybe that can work.

Which got my hopes for a split second, and I was already somewhat familiar with. I just don't want others to have their expectations set up incorrectly.
 
  • Like
Reactions: ladylazarus4
PixelPlant

PixelPlant

smile, you’ve lived :)
Aug 15, 2023
129
this is definitely i'm going for. already ordered SN
 
  • Like
Reactions: ladylazarus4 and wren-briar
sevennn

sevennn

Mage
Sep 11, 2024
565
Agreed, but you originally said [emphasis added]



Which got my hopes for a split second, and I was already somewhat familiar with. I just don't want others to have their expectations set up incorrectly.
i was talking about N "and with N…" (because N also has a nasty taste), idk what's up with today. two people misunderstood me on forum. i think i spoke clearly, 🤔 bitter and sour, sn is salty
 
  • Like
Reactions: ladylazarus4
I

InTheAbyss

Member
Jul 30, 2024
27
Planning on using SN before the end of the year. Just waiting for a time I get a few days alone and it feels right to do it. My biggest worry is either SI kicking in at the last minute or something going wrong and failing.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: nihilistic_dragon, zenirsar and wren-briar
sevennn

sevennn

Mage
Sep 11, 2024
565
true, but a shotgun in the mouth is pretty certain lol
i'll give you one better. bomb in mouth. someone ctb that way. saw the picture. pretty fucjing sad considering his dad found him 😢 but in terms of foolproof..
Planning on using SN before the end of the year. Just waiting for a time I get a few days alone and it feels right to do it. My biggest worry is either SI kicking in at the last minute or something going wrong and failing.
for sure. it's just so… nervous the whole time through. can't imagine not being nervous the whole time. the uncertainty is the worst. i worry about my poor stomach just vomiting it all out and not succeeding
 
Last edited:
  • Wow
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: ladylazarus4, nihilistic_dragon, sugarb and 1 other person
W

wren-briar

wrenbriar.gitlab.io
Jul 1, 2024
241
@sevennn

This is absolutely not meant as a personal attack, or even a writing critique, rather, you expressed confusion about how your writing was possibly confusing, and I'm simply trying to explain how I got to the understanding that I did, based on what you wrote.

i was talking about N "and with N…" (because N also has a nasty taste), idk what's up with today. two people misunderstood me on forum. i think i spoke clearly, 🤔 bitter and sour, sn is salty

At least for me, it was a combination of this thread explicitly asking about SN ("how many of us are hoing with SN?") and your statement about the miracle fruit was in a paragraph that appears to be talking primarily about a nasty salty tea experience, and SN is well known around here for being nauseatingly salty.

Here's how I interpreted the paragraph:

damn i wish we could go seeking N together haha one last adventure. and i drank 3 teaspoons of salt in a tiny cup of tea once (by accident) i swallowed one big gulp and was immediately disgusted. but i didn't throw up. it was really nasty tho 🙈😭 i still remember the taste vividly. and with N. there's this miracle berry pill that turns bitter and sour tastes into sweet tastes. maybe that can work.

"damn i wish we could go seeking N together" - clearly talking about N

"haha one last adventure" - just a pleasant thought

"and i drank 3 teaspoons of salt in a tiny cup of tea once (by accident) i swallowed one big gulp and was immediately disgusted" - clearly not about either N or SN specifically, but since the saltiness of SN is pretty well discussed, and other than it being more peaceful but unavailable, I don't know a lot about N, so this could be setting up a comparison to just the saltiness compared to SN or it could be setting up a comparison to the saltiness of SN and N. Since this is a thread specifically focused on SN, I assumed that it was definitely for comparison to SN, and may also be relevant to N.

"it was really nasty tho 🙈😭 i still remember the taste vividly. and with N." - I read this as talking about the plan salt (accidentally consumed with tea; which I have no doubt was a nasty surprise), but I honestly wasn't sure if you were implying that N was also salty like that tea or whether it had a different nasty flavor, but again, (a) this thread is about SN, (b) it's been established that saltiness is a common problem with SN, and (c) I've personally discounted N therefore I'm focused on possible ways to mitigate the saltiness of SN.

"there's this miracle berry pill that turns bitter and sour tastes into sweet tastes. maybe that can work." - given that this paragraph is mostly about the table salt in tea accident and this thread is focused on SN, I interpreted this as "miracle berry pill turns bitter and sour tastes into sweet tastes. Maybe [miracle berry] can work [to turn salty tastes into sweet tastes]."

Does that make sense?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Plato'sCaveDweller
Valhala

Valhala

Student
Jul 30, 2024
170
SN is also my planned exit. The 10-20 minutes of waiting before lights out scares me more than the side effects, frankly.
This is exactly the biggest problem with SN.
 
  • Like
Reactions: wren-briar, sevennn and ForestGhost

Similar threads

H
Replies
1
Views
194
Suicide Discussion
cali22♡
cali22♡
bpdbun
Replies
7
Views
514
Suicide Discussion
noname37
N
asthedayends00
Replies
15
Views
245
Suicide Discussion
asthedayends00
asthedayends00
T
Replies
5
Views
635
Suicide Discussion
blak73
B