How many friends do you have?

[jennydreadful]

2. I had a few more friends but after some mental health episodes where I completely embarrassed myself by saying a bunch of delusional wild things. I fear the 2 friends i have will leave due to my depression and mental state. How do you make friends when you can't stand the person you've become?

 

[Pallf]

It varies. Sometimes I crave friendship, other times I can't stand to be around other people. It's complicated.

 

[Numb]

I have acquaintances but even they are becoming increasingly distant due to my self imposed isolation.

 

[Marktheghost]

I used to have acquaintances too. I haven't really got any of them even any more though!

 

[przeciwwymiotne]

I just wanna know if it's weird that I only have 2 people I'd actually consider solid friends, one online one irl. I usually don't have that many friends at any given time. I feel like if those relationships fall apart my emotional state will plummet

I had two, but became a dick to them and then a burden

 

[Burner1234]

Zero.

 

[WhitePill]

I technically have one. It's hard for me to think of people as friends though because I am very private and accept that everyone comes and goes.

 

[imtrying]

I have 5-6 real friends and then just people I'm friendly with. Most of them don't know I'm depressed.

 

[come to dust]

Several superficial friends but none who are real true friends (i.e. who i can tell I want to ctb)

 

[Sun_]

Solo quiero saber si es extraño que solo tenga 2 personas a las que realmente consideraría amigos sólidos, uno en línea y otro en la vida real. Por lo general, no tengo tantos amigos en un momento dado. Siento que si esas relaciones se desmoronan, mi estado emocional se desplomará.

Mis amistades están en las suyas,pareciera que no tengo amigos reales,tengo si virtuales

 

[nosurpries]

zero.

 

[Salvation_]

One. I have another but we haven't talked in some time.

 

[indigomoon]

How many friends? That would be a big fat 0.

 

[Zegers]

2 irl but one is sick and we hardly see each other and other dissapeared after have a gf
3 in other cities

practically zero, no one for a drink or hang out often.

Id like to meet people from this forum, at least loneliness wont be so crushing, perhaps.

 

[PrisonBreak]

Zero.

 

[Throwawaysoul]

Zero and in my 40s I don't think I'm going to find new friends at this point

 

[damaged_soul]

I used to have two very close friends with whom I felt I could talk about anything. Unfortunately, one of them ended up severely abusing me to the point where I no longer want to live. The other friend defended her, so I had to ditch him as well. Now I have zero friends and don't plan on making any, as I don't trust anyone.

 

[Eternally Dottie]

I have lots of 'friends' but don't feel like I can talk to any of them about how things really are - they mostly don't have a clue. I just carry on with the front I always put on and they think everything is great.

 

[Lone Wanderer]

To be completely honest I have about 2 friends. Nothing wrong with having a small circle. Least amount of people you have to worry about stabbing you in the back.

Zero and in my 40s I don't think I'm going to find new friends at this point

If it makes you feel any better I'm sure we can be friends here or in the next life.

 

[absurd_to_the_end]

Zero and in my 40s I don't think I'm going to find new friends at this point

Same except I'm even older.

 

[☆AwaitingEntropy☆]

One genuine friend, another I wonder if she really likes me. There are various people I'm friendly with, but they don't actually hang out with me much.

 

[want2dienow]

negative zero

 

[Twntysvn]

quite a lot (but no more than 10) but none of them knew my "truest" self like i'm suicidal, actual believes, sexuality etc etc. Very hard and feel lonely to lying about that, but i had to

 

[l0stc4use]

i have 1 irl friend but she only talks/cares abt herself and we can't even hang out cuz she moved far away and neither of us can drive, i have a handful of online friends but we're not close and i feel like they've been distant with me lately, and then i have my long distance girlfriend but that relationship is strained as well :/ it's my fault i don't have people close to me because i push everyone away but it still hurts.

 

[Whistea]

Like many others here I got none.

 

[theboy]

0

 

[DarkNearDeath]

I don't know anymore. The fact is, I am alone.

 

[Unworthyoflove]

one close friend. some acquaintances . my only close friend lives in another country though. apparently its hard to be my friend

 

[Lostandlooking]

Technically I have 5 friends. Though one is my sister, I just counted her as a friend because it feels like it describes it best.

And I'm struggling to draw the line between friend and acquaintance. It doesn't feel like I'm close to anybody. Not even my boyfriend (who is counted as a friend as well) And I don't feel like I want to be close to anybody. I don't speak to my friends often and we don't see each other very often. I can call somebody a friend and only see them once a year. Only adding a handful of text messages. And I don't feel discontent about that. I can feel pressured very easily. I find it difficult dealing with expectations. I think this has something to do with autism and trauma. In past relationships/friendships I never got what I needed. It was always about what was expected of me. And trying to fit that description. I guess that's how I feel when interacting with people. I don't even know what I need from a friendship or from interactions. I find that I can't 'just be myself'. I feel I'm always trying so hard (to make other people comfortable) when being around others. I don't think I'm that good at it. And I think I'm not that good of a friend to the people that call me their friend. Because of the reasons stated above. (How can I be a truly good friend if I don't feel a connection) I don't know what I actually want out of an interaction. Most of the time I just want it to be over so I can be alone again. And I don't want the other person to be uncomfortable. Maybe I'd like to see my feelings reflected in other people's experiences. That rarely if ever happens though. Weirdly enough, I don't feel lonely because of this.

I'm sorry for everybody who has 0 friends. And the people who are lonely and who are suffering so badly because of that. My experience is a bit different from what I usually see on the forum. Just felt like writing it down.

 

[nys]

I have no friends. I'm friendly with a lot of people but I'm not actually friends with them- they're more like acquaintances to me
Strangely, I don't need friends much. When I was younger, I wanted them more than anything, but now I'm fine like this. I get some human contact with acquaintances so I don't need meaningful friendships that much