in real life i only ever had very few friends due to how quiet and shy i been, but none of them were actual good meaningful friendships and eventually failed, with some of them even bullying me
in the internet i did had some friends, but only one of them were genuinely meaningful, which was my long distance best friend i ended up falling inlove with and got together. but she eventually silently dumped me a few months ago, without saying anything beforehand. the rest of my friendships have failed long time ago so she was the only one i still wanted to talk to and i didn't want to trust anyone else, but now that she's gone i am all alone again