Venting How long should you wait to CTB after a family member dies?

[demuic]

I'm facing this situation right now. It just happened in September, not suicide, very sudden. It's become more clear than ever that my situation will never improve and things will only get worse in umimaginable ways the longer I wait around to CTB. I know what grief is like, but it doesn't change the fact that living is unbearable for me. It just makes thing harder since I don't think my mother will be able to emotionally survive two losses in a row. On top of the fact she's dependent on me to help manage finances, housing, etc, right now since we don't have any other family, when I don't even want to be here. There's no way of avoiding the inevitable devastation, but I want to lessen the impact as much as possible. At the same time, even just one more year alive feels unbearable. I had been planning to go sometime in the summer next year. I wonder if that will be long enough. No matter what choices I make in life I end up screwed, so I can't bring myself to do the same to anyone else. It would be easier if I didn't care at all about anyone and just killed myself in the first place as soon as I got SN, I wouldn't be in this situation right now. It feels like cruel humor from the universe and the mental anguish from wavering between the knowledge of what I must do and the effects it will bring to others is exhausting.

 

[jodes2]

For such a close loss, I'd say the absolute, absolute minimum would be 2 years, but ideally more like 10. Such a loss takes a while to recover from. For your mum's sake and yours, please give it time my friend. Things can get better. Absolutely. Just needs time, plus a bit of work - learn, do research, on how to recover from grief. For yourself but also to help your mum

 

[DeathBecomesMe_2021]

It depends on who died and how close they were to your mother. That said, it doesn't matter if you die now or next summer or whenever, for a parent to lose a child is just devastating, and that's an understatement. Actually, there are no words for when a parent loses a child and only another parent can try to imagine the unthinkable. I don't want to make you feel more guilty for planning to ctb though, I'm just stating what is.

 

[hungry_ghost]

I wonder: can you take out an insurance policy of some kind and make your mother the beneficiary?

If you manage to CTB in a way that looks like an accident, at least she would get some financial payout afterwards.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds like a difficult and painful situation to be in and it must be hard to deal with. I think that this is a reason as to why it can certainly be hard to make plans in advance to ctb as life can certainly be unpredictable and uncertain. But I do believe that after all only you know when it's the best time to leave this world, and I get that it can be torturous feeling like you have to stay when you cannot bear the thought of it. It certainly is a very cruel existence and there does seem to be no real relief from suffering as long as we exist, but I wish you the best.