How do you guys cope with not being able to die yet?

[M.i.245541]

Everyday I want to take my life. Every. Day. But my plan isn't ready and the time and place aren't concrete enough. Every day I have to cope with the fact that I'm still here and seeing my pathetic face in my mirror ruins my already horrible day. I put on a fake smile and persona around my peers and I act pretty joyful overall. It's painful. I'm so tired. I just want to go to sleep. This is inhumane. Why do I have to be subjected to such a meaningless and pathetic life? How do you guys cope? I'm struggling keeping up this facade any longer but if I slip up and people suspect something is wrong, I'll be sent to the ward again which will only backtrack my plan by months. I know I sound very pathetic right now, but I feel lost. This place is really the only place where I can express my true emotions. No one else quite understands what this feels like. I'm hoping that by the end of November I'll be gone, but I can't make any guarantees until my plan is perfect.

What keeps me going is working on the plan and the time /place. Each time I'm desperate, I try to focus on that. Some days, it helps and I feel good that it's just a matter of time before I'm gone, some other times it doesn't help at all (like today). And some other times it makes it worst because I can't decide on the ctb method

 

[Funeralprincess]

It's hard because I planned to go in the summer but now I can't. I have my method, but now there is a shit load of factors coming in to play which sucks because I've had a LOT of suicide attempts, some of them leaving me with serious health problems, so to have this time delayed just gives me anger and anxiety. I just try to focus on the end goal which is death and that each day I'll be closer to executing my plan to leave this disgusting planet
It's hard because I planned to go in the summer but now I can't. I have my method, but now there is a shit load of factors coming in to play which sucks because I've had a LOT of suicide attempts, some of them leaving me with serious health problems, so to have this time delayed just gives me anger and anxiety. I just try to focus on the end goal which is death and that each day I'll be closer to executing my plan to leave this disgusting planet

 

[DonTellMeToStayAlive]

tbh I don't. And I really need to figure something out about it

 

[help56]

Every human should have a right to live or die . No one can live your life so it isn't fair
That you live to please them . We should all be given this option