How do you get the motivation to do work when you're feeling incredibly suicidal?

[Mistiie]

I know that I'm not going to CTB any time soon, mainly because I don't currently have the resources or the money to buy said resources. The idea of CTB is very freeing but it's also making me incredibly lazy. I've got mounds and mounds of school work to catch up on that I'm finding I don't do solely because of my "It doesn't matter, I'm out" attitude.

Does anyone have any tips to try and avoid falling into this trap? I'd at least like to keep up with my work in some capacity and maybe even go a little bit ahead of the current pace we're at at my college so that if my attempt goes wrong in any way, I won't fall so far behind like I did last time.

 

[R_N]

It was more bearable for me when I didn't deal with pieces of shit bosses and coworkers. But even then it was not easy in the slightest. People being more friendly goes a long way tho but you can't control that. Some people like you some don't.

When I had a job where I had to deal with people a lot and visit places, I felt better on days I was around the ones I liked more.

How I dealt with it? Xan and pushing myself to go at the time. I still felt like shit anyway and I had an attempt one day before work when I had enough.