Help how do you get the energy/motivation to do anything when the person/people you like are inactive/offline? anyone else experience this or have advice?

[coolgal82]

This is like basically the 2nd time this issue has come up for an extended period, but like idk whenever the person/people i most like at that moment are like busy offline or going through something so arent very active or whatever i lose the motivation to do anything other than like lay in bed or sit on my sofa and watch movies.

first time it happened was when it was like my besties at the time and they went on holiday for like a week so werent there to like talk to/vc with and all i could do was just lay on my sofa or not get out of bed basically, i couldn't even like go play any games i like really cus i just had no energy or motivation to do anything, but like as soon as they started being online again it was better

now it's the guy i like and he's been like keeping to himself for a week or so mostly cus he's been like gound through a rough spot lately which i like completely understand and it's almost even worse this time. i have stuff i like need to do but i just can't get around to doing it, and he only messages like a few times a day really so along with the lack of motivation/energy i keep getting worried that he just doesn't like me and doesn't wanna talk to me or, if he doesn't message at all for a long period, that he might be dead or something, and as soon as one of those thoughts enters my brain i just start spiralling and feel awful for the rest of the day until he like says something. sometimes the thoughts that he could be dead or whatever spiral so much i start having a full on breakdown and even like trying to check everywhere i can to see if he is/isn't dead, like checking account activity and obituaries and stuff.

I'm close to the end of a playthrough for a game i really like and i noticed before this that like at the start of the day before he's awake and messages me i can barely get through a bit of the game before getting bored, but usually once he like wakes up and we start talking a bit i'm able to just go ahead and blaze through the game, and now thats he's like barely active i can only get a tiny bit of the game done per day (and none of the work for the ou course i just started) before getting bored and just watching movies all day, or even just sitting on/laying in my bed all day.


Has anyone else dealt with anything like this? How do i like get past this? i feel like i just can't function as a human being wiithout like interacting with him idk. (honestly even if you have no advice but can still relate i would appreciate like knowing about it idk cus knowing that other people experience similar things is kinda comforting)

it's almost just like i need a near constant stream of attention or activity from people i like to be sble to do anything and idk why or how to stop being like this.

 

[violetforever]

i find it hard to even build up motivation to do anything in general but it definitely gets worse when i am waiting on communication from someone. i can easily revolve all of my time around a person. its happening right now again but i dont feel it so intensely especially with how suicidal i am. i feel like im more okay with things not going how i want them to since i will be dead soon. ive realized things and people will never change so why stress over them when i can focus on my method instead?

 

[coolgal82]

i find it hard to even build up motivation to do anything in general but it definitely gets worse when i am waiting on communication from someone. i can easily revolve all of my time around a person. its happening right now again but i dont feel it so intensely especially with how suicidal i am. i feel like im more okay with things not going how i want them to since i will be dead soon. ive realized things and people will never change so why stress over them when i can focus on my method instead?

i wish i could just not feel it as intensely lol, even when i feel super suicidal its usually related to this kinda stuff. it just feels like my entire life revolves around him and he's just like the answer to everything wrong in my life and i can never be truly happy without him

 

[violetforever]

even when i feel super suicidal its usually related to this kinda stuff. it just feels like my entire life revolves around him and he's just like the answer to everything wrong in my life and i can never be truly happy without him

oh i know what you mean. one of the reasons im suicidal is still related to this stuff, i am just so burnt out from it after all the years. i used to constantly cry and spiral over it but now ive made a sort of peaceful numbness with it where i realize it wont get better and ctb is whats best.

 

[coolgal82]

oh i know what you mean. one of the reasons im suicidal is still related to this stuff, i am just so burnt out from it after all the years. i used to constantly cry and spiral over it but now ive made a sort of peaceful numbness with it where i realize it wont get better and ctb is whats best.

the provlem is like i had kinda accepted ctb before this but now like part of me feels there might be hope so it's hard like switching between the two alot idk

 

[violetforever]

the provlem is like i had kinda accepted ctb before this but now like part of me feels there might be hope so it's hard like switching between the two alot idk

different circumstances i guess. for me, i had not talked to someone for a while and finally reached out to them one more time to see if anything good would come out of it. i was disappointed like i imagined i would be so theres no hope left for me in this or anything else. i think its good you have hope still