How do you feel towards your self harm scars?

[Ashu]

I cherish them, though I neither flaunt nor hide them.

 

[ElementofCyanPassij]

Hey, I have something to contribute. First post here, feeling kind of nervous. The post is as follows:

I like them. When I see the scars I made on me I'm like Pedal To The Metal, Motherfucker. 100% can not wait to get out of here.

 

[starlight9]

Honestly, I think mine are pretty, I couldn't care less what other people think

 

[webawl]

i like that they make my struggles feel validated but i hate the situation that i'm in that makes me feel that way, if that makes sense. i can easily hide them, so i don't worry about what others think. they give me some anxiety if i ever become intimate with someone, though.

 

[stormed lucky]

I wish they were in a more hideable location. Random people seeing them wouldn't bother me too much because why would I care about what random people think of me? But I still have to be extra careful at the doctor's office that they don't see them. In a weird way, I like cutting myself. I don't know how to explain it. What I don't like too much are the scars since I can't wear certain outfits anymore. I just don't like how they look when I'm trying to dress up nicely. It doesn't fit with the look I'm going for. Also I love seeing blood, maybe I'm just weird


I'm glad to hear they faded nicely! I was not as lucky in that regard

Blood is good!

 

[aticeret]

Since nobody around cares, I do not care too, although recently I had a very unpleasant discussion about them. Seems like people who do not cut will never understand people who do. What a surprise.

 

[stormed lucky]

It's a personal 'thing' I'm not keen on having my arms out in public, even though it maybe warm I stick with long-sleeved tops, or a vest top n a loose top of sorts

 

[recovered21]

I wish mine would just disappear. Most were made 7-8 years ago now. I cut very deep as a teenager and regularly needed stitches. Now they're skin color but obvious. I have a connective tissue disease so they healed really bizarrely.

 

[sick.faery]

depends on how i feel about living. if i'm hopeful about life and really want to live, i really dont like them because in that case i want to live the best life possible and i want to be 'normal'. dont want any problems getting in my way like that especially if it's to do with how people see me. dont want to be seen like some pityful person or a freak. like a lot of people would be think i'm an insane bitch if they see them, and might feel like uncomfortable hanging out with me. some people might really judge me for that too.

also cant really think about sex/dating guys with them cause they're so bad they ruin what i got and make me look crazy and unstable. some guys would still fuck a girl like me and a very small % still would date me with them but most would never want to probably which kinda sucks obviously cause i want to date and stuff :/ also can't wear anything without long sleeves ever and probably not for the next 1-2 years because of how deep a lot of my cuts where (like most of them are 1.5 years old and still super red and visible)

but when i feel like i want to be self destructive with my life and want to die i like them because they kinda show how fucked up i am and i lowkey think they're aesthetic in that self destructive way.. ik that's weird

 

[Abyssopelagic]

I really like mine. My first tattoo (dead bird) was a partial coverup of my shoulder scars, which people seem to find very ironic but oh well, none of their business why it makes sense to me. The rest of my scars (the deeper ones, more hidden) I consider sort of precious and don't want to cover up with anything. They're an important reminder of my past and I really like them, though I'd imagine that if they were visible to the public I'd be a lot more self-conscious about them. They've always been a combination of self-harm and self-care to me (doing the harm and then taking a long time cleaning and caring for the injury) so I guess I have a two-sided relationship with my scars whether or not I'm actively engaged in self-harm at the time.

 

[Distorted]

My feelings regarding them vary. More sensitive details have been hidden. (TW: Emotional abuse on my part, graphic descriptions and positive views on self harm.)

As of right now, my only visible scars were created with the intention of

Spoiler

eliciting guilt from someone who had wronged me. I am aware that this is emotionally abusive, and I never ended up revealing the scars to said person. In fact, we are fortunately no longer on speaking terms.

I feel shame towards this aspect of my reasoning. I also felt embarrassed whenever I went out in public with my arms showing. In the past, I didn't want people to see them at all and would typically cut on my legs. Yet, I look back on how I was feeling while I made these specific cuts and am overwhelmed with sorrow. I remember the entirety of that day; I can vividly recall

Spoiler

the dizzying combination of nausea and ecstasy upon realizing that I had cut deeper than usual.

These cuts were also the first ones that my dad showed care for. For the first time, he acknowledged what I had done and comforted me. He cleaned and dressed my wounds with the kind of genuine care I had not yet experienced.

At times, I feel as though they are the only proof that I am "sick enough." When I doubt myself, scars are easily accessible proof that I haven't been faking my issues for over a decade. Sometimes physical proof is the only thing that will get through my head, because it's undeniable.

Of course, there is the ever-present sense of twisted pride and romanticism.

Spoiler

Yes, I did this to myself. Yes, it is beautiful...And I am better for it.

I try not to entertain such thoughts.

 

[Scythe]

I like them, I like the aethetic, and I like looking at them and pretending I have been torn to sherds. It's also a representation of my strength for me.

 

[sheepgirl]

Fucking hate them. I have scars from shoulder to wrist on both arms so badly parts of my arms are literally indented and misshappen. Have them on my chest, stomach, thighs and lower legs too. It's almost impossible to hide them. They disgust me - yet I keep making more.

 

[soonitwontbea]

I have mostly been too ineffective at self-harming to leave many scars or even draw much blood. I hate myself for it. I don't know why i'm so pathetic

 

[kallemi]

i feel fine about them, but i sometimes get super self conscious about other people seeing them (esp if my mood is in a decline). also they can itch really bad and if they're raised it's hard to scratch and annoying :/

 

[PurpleBlack]

i used to cut a lot and sometiems people saw them in summer when my dress would creep up. now that i think back about it no one ever tried to help me for it, they just made shitty remark like ' i know what that is'

ive been practicing a lot of self-care and self-love and finally im at a point i dont want to cut anymore, because i think my body has been through enough. it has taken me years and years, not going to lie. Now when i sometimes get the need again, i grab my lady epilator. Might seem strange but what i want is an exit for the pain, i dont actually want to make a wound. so i epilate my legs and get that shit out, and then after i have baby smooth legs lol

 

[flower1985]

I self harm a lot its an alternative to ctb at the moment , not bothered what people think it's my arms my life I dont hide them my husband doesn't like it and tries to hide Stanley knife blades but I'm good at keeping some back ... warning self harm images

 

[LunaXCBN]

Used to hate them, now I'm thinking of doing it again.
Just to feel something other than anger. I want that adrenaline rush from seeing myself bleed again.

 

[SunnysSunset]

I really like them. I feel proud and I feel like I finally managed to achieve something whenever I look at them. My scars that are raised are gross tho lol.

 

[bijou]

they make me feel fucking pathetic lol, been having a bit of a relapse with it atm…but yeah it sucks…my bfs mom just stares at them like im an alien lol

 

[mafuyu]

Mixed feelings. Like hey, here's my evidence I'm sad! But also hey, you probably think I'm stupid and pathetic now. Uh oh.

 

[Maybe_I_Might]

Sometimes I feel inside that I kinda want people to see so they'd know what I'm going through but at the same time, I don't want people to see. Sometimes I like looking at them cause they represent what I'm going through, and I find them visually/ascetically pleasing and sometimes I hate them because I know they won't go away (at least for a very long time) and I feel stupid for doing it because now I have to be aware of what am wearing and if I have my sleeve up or not and I have to think about the possibility of someone saying something dumb. Its really weird, it goes from 100 to -100 sometimes

Mixed feelings. Like hey, here's my evidence I'm sad! But also hey, you probably think I'm stupid and pathetic now. Uh oh.

This is exactly it

 

[Toji]

i use to hate them but now that i'm older is see them as being strong and being able
to last this long is this hellish earth.

 

[Danyyyyy]

i like how they look, for some reason looking at them brings me peace

Thats how I felt about them as well sometimes

But whenever I see them most of the time, I feel bad about myself cuz Im just remembering what I was feeling in that moment
Luckily it's been weeks since I've cut myself and I'm hoping that I can continue :D

 

[starrycat79]

i wish they were less apparent, i really don't know what to say when someone asks about them

 

[Memoka]

I really love looking at them. I consider them beautiful.
Cuts. But not burns.

 

[Deadweight]

I have a deep one on my wrist from my teens. I used to cover it with a braclet. It's still visible but you would have to be looking at my wrist to notice it. I'm ashamed of it, and I hope people don't notice it. It says too much about you

 

[aubrey!]

They're there. I'm always wearing jackets to hide them, even when it's hot out. I have to.

It's not like they're going away anytime soon though, so i don't have good reason to stop self harm.

I'm a bit ashamed, but what can ya do about it yknow? it's markings that have brought me a bit of calmness in my hectic life.

 

[tvoisluga]

like the blood. hate the scars tho. i wish i could cut deep with no scars and i wish i was immortal sometimes (lol) so i could lose as much blood as i want without passing out

 

[silentcicada]

It's.. embarrassing for me. I don't see them as empowering or a reminder of how strong I am, they make people stare and ask uncomfortable questions.