Discussion How do I prevent myself from self destructing when talking to certain people?

[CrazyDiamond04]

I have an extremely difficult time trying to stay calm when talking to people in positions of authority. I just got an opportunity to possibly get a job and I'm trying to calm myself down from getting nervous. I'm worried that I'm gonna fuck this up.

 

[Tesha]

I suppose the question is how do you display your nervousness ? Loudly, internalise, resent, appease etc. AND, more importantly why are you nervous?

People who abuse their power trigger me due to my past trauma. I go on the offensive, slicing them down to a size I think is appropriate. Obviously this isn't ok behaviour from me… who says I'm right and what's the 'right size'… so I try and look at things from their perspective and ask myself why I'm feeling like this and is that feeling justified.

You can't stop your unconscious immediate reaction / feeling, but once you've noticed it, you can then consider your options.

That might not have made sense. Sorry.

 

[Life_and_Death]

im not sure if i could provide advice, but may i ask what kind of self destruction? depending on what youre feeling/thinking there might be more specific advice that can be given.
my best advice though is probably deep breathing as tiring as it is to probably hear. just pay attention to your breathing and repeat a 'mantra' something useful/calming to you

 

[CrazyDiamond04]

I suppose the question is how do you display your nervousness ? Loudly, internalise, resent, appease etc. AND, more importantly why are you nervous?

People who abuse their power trigger me due to my past trauma. I go on the offensive, slicing them down to a size I think is appropriate. Obviously this isn't ok behaviour from me… who says I'm right and what's the 'right size'… so I try and look at things from their perspective and ask myself why I'm feeling like this and is that feeling justified.

You can't stop your unconscious immediate reaction / feeling, but once you've noticed it, you can then consider your options.

That might not have made sense. Sorry.

No, I understand what you mean. I guess it's a mix of internalization and some outward cues. I feel like I'm having a heart attack and my eye will often twitch when I'm nervous. I think I've gotten somewhat better but when it comes to talking to people who aren't equals then I start panicking.

im not sure if i could provide advice, but may i ask what kind of self destruction? depending on what youre feeling/thinking there might be more specific advice that can be given.
my best advice though is probably deep breathing as tiring as it is to probably hear. just pay attention to your breathing and repeat a 'mantra' something useful/calming to you

I have a habit of motor mouthing alongside some awkward facial movements when I'm nervous.

 

[Tesha]

So, I'm not in game of diagnosing people, but from what you've said, I would look at anxiety management. I think there's a newish pinned section in Recovery called something like worksheets and booklets. I had a quick look previously and think it might help.

What you're describing isn't insurmountable and you definitely have the insight to recognise your own triggers. Have a look and if you want to bounce any ideas around, give me a shout.

 

[CrazyDiamond04]

So, I'm not in game of diagnosing people, but from what you've said, I would look at anxiety management. I think there's a newish pinned section in Recovery called something like worksheets and booklets. I had a quick look previously and think it might help.

What you're describing isn't insurmountable and you definitely have the insight to recognise your own triggers. Have a look and if you want to bounce any ideas around, give me a shout.

Good news. I think I landed the job I was going for.

 

[lionetta12]

I have an extremely difficult time trying to stay calm when talking to people in positions of authority. I just got an opportunity to possibly get a job and I'm trying to calm myself down from getting nervous. I'm worried that I'm gonna fuck this up.

Have you tried anxiety meds or relaxants?

 

[CrazyDiamond04]

Have you tried anxiety meds or relaxants?

I have not.