Help How do I give up on my dream?

[borderline-feline]

I dream of being an artist, and I need to give up on my dream. I'm not capable of learning to draw, and I have zero creativity, so I have no hope of ever fulfilling that worthless dream.

How do I stop wanting to draw? How do I force myself to accept reality?

 

[damnatio memoriae]

Maybe try tracing first. Might as well have something to enjoy before we depart.

You don't need to be the next Picasso

 

[borderline-feline]

Maybe try tracing first. Might as well have something to enjoy before we depart.

You don't need to be the next Picasso

I'm gonna be honest. That's one of the worse repsonses anyone could've possibly made to this thread. I tried tracing, and it didn't help even remotely.

I'm not looking for advice on how to learn to draw; I'm looking for advice on how to fucking stop wanting to draw. I WANT to give up, but I can't bring myself to.

Please put more thought into your responses.

 

[fuzzy-clown]

Throw away and delete all your art materials and art. Find something else to do like binge watch shows.

 

[Covalite]

Maybe instead of focusing on not wanting to draw focus on finding a new passion. Try to limiting thinking about drawing through meditation and redirect your thoughts onto a new passion. It could be anything from something simple like a fandom or something more complicated like a career you have at least some talent for or interest in. I have done this before for a few things and its had mixed but mostly positive results. Hope this helps.
Edit: The goal of this is to just forget or stop caring about drawing and replace it with something else or at the very least make you care more about something else over art/drawing.

 

[NorthernMonkey]

You don't have to draw to be an artist, find another way. Go abstract, throw some paint around and see what sticks :) If Tracy Emin can win awards for an unmade bed, I'm sure you can find some art form you are good at. Don't give up your dream, if you still have a dream then you still have a chance at life.

 

[borderline-feline]

Throw away and delete all your art materials and art. Find something else to do like binge watch shows.

I can't bring myself to get rid of my drawing tablet. I've tried over and over again, but I can't manage to throw it away or destroy it.

All of my hobbies are rooted in media consumption, and media consumption makes me want to draw. The current overwhelming desire to draw that I have is because I decided to rewatch Love Stage.

 

[fuzzy-clown]

I can't bring myself to get rid of my drawing tablet. I've tried over and over again, but I can't manage to throw it away or destroy it.

Put an ad on Facebook Marketplace to sell it.

 

[borderline-feline]

You don't have to draw to be an artist, find another way. Go abstract, throw some paint around and see what sticks :) If Tracy Emin can win awards for an unmade bed, I'm sure you can find some art form you are good at. Don't give up your dream, if you still have a dream then you still have a chance at life.

Please read what I wrote before replying.

I WANT to give up. I have zero creativity. I have something specific that I wish I could do but can't do. "Try another medium" is just kind of insulting to be honest.

Put an ad on Facebook Marketplace to sell it.

I can't.

Maybe instead of focusing on not wanting to draw focus on finding a new passion. Try to limiting thinking about drawing through meditation and redirect your thoughts onto a new passion. It could be anything from something simple like a fandom or something more complicated like a career you have at least some talent for or interest in. I have done this before for a few things and its had mixed but mostly positive results. Hope this helps.
Edit: The goal of this is to just forget or stop caring about drawing and replace it with something else or at the very least make you care more about something else over art/drawing.

Media consumption just makes me wanna draw, so that's out.

I also have no talents or skills, and I have no interest in anything other than drawing.

 

[fuzzy-clown]

I can't.

If you want to give up on your dream, this is something you should try to do. As long as you hold onto it, you will not have given up on your dream.
If selling on Facebook Marketplace is too much for you, drop it off at a donation center without putting too much thought into it.

 

[NorthernMonkey]

Why don't you use your social skills and go for a career as a carer? You should think about where you are, your rude replies are childish. I'm so sorry you can't stop wanting to be an artist but I, and most people here, are dealing with real problems and feeling the way I do right now, a snippy reply can be enough to send me over the edge. Grow up.

 

[borderline-feline]

If you want to give up on your dream, this is something you should try to do. As long as you hold onto it, you will not have given up on your dream.
If selling on Facebook Marketplace is too much for you, drop it off at a donation center without putting too much thought into it.

I can't bring myself to get rid of it because I can't kill this desire to draw. Destroying it would probably be the only thing that could give me closure, but I just can't do it

I need to be told that I'm talentless and worthless. I need someone close to me to reinforce the reality that I'm not capable of learning to draw, but all I get when I say that is toxic positivity. Just look at some of the other replies to this thread.

Why don't you use your social skills and go for a career as a carer? You should think about where you are, your rude replies are childish. I'm so sorry you can't stop wanting to be an artist but I, and most people here, are dealing with real problems and feeling the way I do right now, a snippy reply can be enough to send me over the edge. Grow up.

If you don't want a "snippy reply", then actually read and pay attention to what people before replying.

If I'm the childish one here, then I wonder what that says about the person diminishing other people's problems on their own threads. Take your "real problems" as you call them since I clearly don't have any, and leave me alone.

You said something unneeded and unwanted, and I responded in kind by telling you that things like that make it worse.

 

[NorthernMonkey]

You keep your thread and this site, I'm out of here. It's not just me you were rude to, your reply to the first person to respond to you was just nasty. I didn't come here for this. Well done you, the only place I felt could help me and you have ruined it. People are only trying to help you ffs

 

[borderline-feline]

You keep your thread and this site, I'm out of here. It's not just me you were rude to, your reply to the first person to respond to you was just nasty. I didn't come here for this. Well done you, the only place I felt could help me and you have ruined it. People are only trying to help you ffs

I wasn't rude to anyone who didn't have it coming. If people are going to come here with toxic positivity and completely ignore what I said, then I don't want their "help".

 

[fuzzy-clown]

I need to be told that I'm talentless and worthless. I need someone close to me to reinforce the reality that I'm not capable of learning to draw, but all I get when I say that is toxic positivity.

Well that's not something socially acceptable for someone close to you to reinforce for you. It may even make them uncomfortable to know that they contributed to you not following your dreams.
Maybe instead you can get some strangers to tell you how bad your art is. Possibly not here though, since this is a nice site.
Better yet, make the decision for yourself and commit to it, and drop off your drawing tablet at the donation center.

You keep your thread and this site, I'm out of here. It's not just me you were rude to, your reply to the first person to respond to you was just nasty. I didn't come here for this. Well done you, the only place I felt could help me and you have ruined it. People are only trying to help you ffs

Just ignore borderline-feline and use the site as you need.

 

[leaf23]

Having to give up a dream or something you genuinely love is soul-wrenching. It must feel like something is killing a part of yourself, I'm so sorry.

Would it be possible to find an art forum/community that can give you knowledgeable, objective critique perhaps? Maybe like posting some of your work? I don't know much about art but maybe even in this site you can post a thread and other artists here can give you feedback you need/want.

 

[RhapsodyinBerserk]

This is the advice you wanted so here I go:

Tell yourself that there's nothing for you in this life, no matter what happens, you are absolutely worthless as a person, and you have nothing to look forward to in life. Since you have no talent, there is no bother in you contributing anything meaningful since there's nothing that you can positively accomplish. Acknowledge that your objective worth as a human is useless, since there is nothing that you can do that would ever contribute any meaningful success to this world.

 

[Pluto]

I went through the same thing when I had a passion for making music in my 20s.

I was effectively using it as a cathartic therapy without being able to genuinely solve any problems, while the lack of love and support around me slowly broke my spirits.

The problem solved itself, since the original passion became so entangled in feelings of shame and sadness that I never wanted to go near it again.

 

[uniqueusername39]

i think i can kind of relate? i used to write a lot, i used to have a bright imagination and i'd plot crazy stuff late in the night and don't care that i haven't slept at all just to finish writing a chapter.

to become a writer was not something i actively "dreamed" to become. youre only a writer when you write. only an artist when you produce art.

in school they used to bring me and my friend to writing competitions and i lost a lot. my friend won a lot of the times. so that's proof im untalented and not as creative as i like to think i am, which really stings.

but even if my work sucked, why did that matter, if my purpose for writing was for just a sort of personal catharsis, and not to impress other people? i wrote under a pseudonym and for a long while, all i wanted was to do this one thing that interested me and tethered me to my humanity. i never desired to do it professionally, i just wanted to do it. i was content with that, even if others saw my work as droll, because at least the time was spent enjoying myself and doing what i loved.

but now, i don't write anymore. even if i loved writing so much, i've managed to get rid of the desire to, not because i was told i was talentless or i deleted my documents, but because i was forced to give it up. i went to medical school. during this period of my life, i barely had time for anything. i've abandoned my projects for three years. and now that i'm out of medical school, when i open my old unfinished docs again, i can't find it in me to continue typing anymore. i'd just rather...lay down and scroll through my phone until i wake up the next day for work...

i guess that's how you kill your desire to make art, to force yourself away from it. that's what worked for me. if you don't want to throw your drawing tablet it's only going to haunt you. maybe might as well try drawing a line or three a day, maybe you'd eventually end up with something you're happy with, even if it doesn't compete. :/

 

[Forever Sleep]

If you REALLY want this- keep constantly reminding yourself of how bad you are at it. That's what happens to me naturally- and I'm scared of drawing now. If you keep associating it with bad things- perhaps the desire to do it will turn into fear. It won't be nice though- I expect. Especially not at the start.

With regards to wanting to be an Artist- that I guess takes constant effort to supress- like when you have a crush on someone that is pointless because they meet someone else. Keep reminding yourself that you can't have what you want.

Sorry to be cruel- but- it seems to be what you want... I would have gone with the other response of- it doesn't matter how good you are- use it as therapy but that clearly isn't working for you. I hope you manage it and I hope you find something to replace it with.

 

[Aisley]

I went through the same thing when I had a passion for making music in my 20s.

I was effectively using it as a cathartic therapy without being able to genuinely solve any problems, while the lack of love and support around me slowly broke my spirits.

The problem solved itself, since the original passion became so entangled in feelings of shame and sadness that I never wanted to go near it again.

That's heartbreaking. I hope you're still able to at least listen to music?

 

[glitterypearls]

compare yourself to other artists and you will lose hope eventually. I did that with writing and it made me realize I will never be as good as other immature writers so what the point of trying?

 

[borderline-feline]

Having to give up a dream or something you genuinely love is soul-wrenching. It must feel like something is killing a part of yourself, I'm so sorry.

Would it be possible to find an art forum/community that can give you knowledgeable, objective critique perhaps? Maybe like posting some of your work? I don't know much about art but maybe even in this site you can post a thread and other artists here can give you feedback you need/want.

I've tried getting advice, but it doesn't help me at all. I can't even manage to finish a drawing. I want to completely give up on anything creative because I have zero creativity.

This is the advice you wanted so here I go:

Tell yourself that there's nothing for you in this life, no matter what happens, you are absolutely worthless as a person, and you have nothing to look forward to in life. Since you have no talent, there is no bother in you contributing anything meaningful since there's nothing that you can positively accomplish. Acknowledge that your objective worth as a human is useless, since there is nothing that you can do that would ever contribute any meaningful success to this world.

I do try that and will continue to try it, but it doesn't feel real when people around me are telling me otherwise. I wish I could get people close to me to tell me things like that.

 

[M0nolith]

talent this, talent that, if you enjoy drawing then draw. fuck it if the world doesn't like your work. fuck it if YOU don't like your work. keep drawing. it doesn't have to be your career, unless you want it to. art is subjective, and if making art is something that gives you joy, then don't stop. art might be the only good thing in this world.

 

[borderline-feline]

talent this, talent that, if you enjoy drawing then draw. fuck it if the world doesn't like your work. fuck it if YOU don't like your work. keep drawing. it doesn't have to be your career, unless you want it to. art is subjective, and if making art is something that gives you joy, then don't stop. art might be the only good thing in this world.

That's really not the kind of thing I need to be told. I have zero skill and don't enjoy trying to draw; it's a form of self-harm. I'm never going to be good at it because I have no ability or creativity.

i think i can kind of relate? i used to write a lot, i used to have a bright imagination and i'd plot crazy stuff late in the night and don't care that i haven't slept at all just to finish writing a chapter.

to become a writer was not something i actively "dreamed" to become. youre only a writer when you write. only an artist when you produce art.

in school they used to bring me and my friend to writing competitions and i lost a lot. my friend won a lot of the times. so that's proof im untalented and not as creative as i like to think i am, which really stings.

but even if my work sucked, why did that matter, if my purpose for writing was for just a sort of personal catharsis, and not to impress other people? i wrote under a pseudonym and for a long while, all i wanted was to do this one thing that interested me and tethered me to my humanity. i never desired to do it professionally, i just wanted to do it. i was content with that, even if others saw my work as droll, because at least the time was spent enjoying myself and doing what i loved.

but now, i don't write anymore. even if i loved writing so much, i've managed to get rid of the desire to, not because i was told i was talentless or i deleted my documents, but because i was forced to give it up. i went to medical school. during this period of my life, i barely had time for anything. i've abandoned my projects for three years. and now that i'm out of medical school, when i open my old unfinished docs again, i can't find it in me to continue typing anymore. i'd just rather...lay down and scroll through my phone until i wake up the next day for work...

i guess that's how you kill your desire to make art, to force yourself away from it. that's what worked for me. if you don't want to throw your drawing tablet it's only going to haunt you. maybe might as well try drawing a line or three a day, maybe you'd eventually end up with something you're happy with, even if it doesn't compete. :/

I don't actually even enjoy drawing tbh. It's a form of self-harm for me. I've never managed to finish an actual drawing because of how much anxiety it gives me and how overwhelming it is.

If you REALLY want this- keep constantly reminding yourself of how bad you are at it. That's what happens to me naturally- and I'm scared of drawing now. If you keep associating it with bad things- perhaps the desire to do it will turn into fear. It won't be nice though- I expect. Especially not at the start.

With regards to wanting to be an Artist- that I guess takes constant effort to supress- like when you have a crush on someone that is pointless because they meet someone else. Keep reminding yourself that you can't have what you want.

Sorry to be cruel- but- it seems to be what you want... I would have gone with the other response of- it doesn't matter how good you are- use it as therapy but that clearly isn't working for you. I hope you manage it and I hope you find something to replace it with.

I'm not capable of replacing that desire with anything. I'm bad at everything. I have zero skills and zero creativity. I'm never going to be able to have a career or a productive hobby. Just trying to draw is painful to me; if anything, it's a form of self-harm for me.

 

[charlotte_]

I don't think that there's a quick way to give up. From what I see from your replies, you're still very inclined to it. There's no way anyone could just make you drop it right now, so you shouldn't rush and take it slow. Forcing it won't take anywhere because not only does it feel like shit, the core problem won't go away. Perhaps instead of smashing your materials, you can give that away to someone or at a centre idk. If that doesn't work for now, start by finding other things you are interested in and might be good at, or could be the one thing you want to do right now. Engage in longer amount of time with it each day. Maybe you'll still draw at some point, but as you get busier each day, your time spent for drawing will be less and you'll be able to stray away from it some days. Hope this helps

 

[borderline-feline]

I don't think that there's a quick way to give up. From what I see from your replies, you're still very inclined to it. There's no way anyone could just make you drop it right now, so you shouldn't rush and take it slow. Forcing it won't take anywhere because not only does it feel like shit, the core problem won't go away. Perhaps instead of smashing your materials, you can give that away to someone or at a centre idk. If that doesn't work for now, start by finding other things you are interested in and might be good at, or could be the one thing you want to do right now. Engage in longer amount of time with it each day. Maybe you'll still draw at some point, but as you get busier each day, your time spent for drawing will be less and you'll be able to stray away from it some days. Hope this helps

I don't have anyone to give the tablet away to, and I don't know what you mean by "centre", but I don't there there are any of those around here. I'm not interested in anything else, and I'm not good at anything.

 

[M0nolith]

if you have the belief that drawing is a form of self-harm and If you are experiencing negative emotions when attempting to draw, remind yourself that creativity is not limited to traditional artistic pursuits. if you keep telling yourself that you will never be great, then you will never be great. if that's the path you want to go down then that is your choice, but i believe that everyone is capable of creativity.

if you don't enjoy drawing then throw away all of your supplies, make room for some other thing that might give you fulfillment.

 

[borderline-feline]

if you have the belief that drawing is a form of self-harm and If you are experiencing negative emotions when attempting to draw, remind yourself that creativity is not limited to traditional artistic pursuits. if you keep telling yourself that you will never be great, then you will never be great. if that's the path you want to go down then that is your choice, but i believe that everyone is capable of creativity.

if you don't enjoy drawing then throw away all of your supplies, make room for some other thing that might give you fulfillment.

I don't have any creativity, and I can't bring myself to throw away my tablet,

 

[dimstar]

Lock it all up. Put it somewhere very hard to access. If you cant get rid of it but really want to stop make it harder to get. If that's what you want. Treat it like a cutter trying to stop, hid the blades and materials.(still there for comfort or whatever) Do some medication or exercise when the urge comes something that distracts without triggering. Again if that what you want. Please be a little kinder to people just throwing out suggestions trying to help, even if you dont find it helpful. No one knows your story or situation like you.