ihatememyselfandi
Don't bother consoling me, it'll distract me.
- Nov 10, 2024
- 1
This question probably gets asked very frequently by many troubled individuals, and that makes sense. I don't know if this needs context, but I probably should give some.
Most of my life so far has been spent seeking approval and lashing out at others. I frequently overthink things and, eventually, confront people that I overthink about, merely on the grounds of "I thought it would happen, so it has to be true!" These last few days have been spent sitting in my room at my mother's house after I was forced to vacate my old home due to being behind on rent. I've lost my job because I'm not located near there anymore, and now I'm sitting here on the same bed I sat on when I was 14, 15, 16. My usual escape from this world was to go to my phone and use social media with friends that would ground me. Unfortunately, a lot of them have distanced away from me due to me being prone to angry outbursts or just being depressing to be around. My closest friend has been rather distant and admits it herself. Though, I feel like this is mostly because I'm not good to be around, but that could be me overthinking yet again.
This process has continued for the entirety of this year and I've gained and lost a lot. And, frankly, I'm not ready to do this anymore. I've said in the past I was going to die to others but got scared and quickly stopped. I want to know how to die today and finally be done with being so unwell that I can't see straight. I'm not financially stable so I can't afford anything and I have no access to firearms. What's the quickest way out?
Most of my life so far has been spent seeking approval and lashing out at others. I frequently overthink things and, eventually, confront people that I overthink about, merely on the grounds of "I thought it would happen, so it has to be true!" These last few days have been spent sitting in my room at my mother's house after I was forced to vacate my old home due to being behind on rent. I've lost my job because I'm not located near there anymore, and now I'm sitting here on the same bed I sat on when I was 14, 15, 16. My usual escape from this world was to go to my phone and use social media with friends that would ground me. Unfortunately, a lot of them have distanced away from me due to me being prone to angry outbursts or just being depressing to be around. My closest friend has been rather distant and admits it herself. Though, I feel like this is mostly because I'm not good to be around, but that could be me overthinking yet again.
This process has continued for the entirety of this year and I've gained and lost a lot. And, frankly, I'm not ready to do this anymore. I've said in the past I was going to die to others but got scared and quickly stopped. I want to know how to die today and finally be done with being so unwell that I can't see straight. I'm not financially stable so I can't afford anything and I have no access to firearms. What's the quickest way out?
