Help How do I actually start loving myself?

[foreverandever]

Hey everyone. I'm sure this has been a fairly common topic on here, but I wanted to make a thread so I'd specifically be tied into the answers.

So, I deal with a lot of severe clinical depression. A massive part of that is an incessant self hatred. It really doesn't matter where I am, or what I'm doing. I could be home alone, trying to enjoy the things I love, or talking with friends, or just laying in my bed. I'll say something, think something, laugh about something, and then get an intense feeling of absolute hatred. Even writing this.

I'm sick of it. It's honestly one of the main reasons why I want to CTB. I've searched online for years, taken some therapy, read all sorts of books, and all of them tend to say the same basic things: use affirmations, practice gratitude, be around others that lift you up, don't isolate in your room, etc. I've tried it all and it just doesn't help.

So, any advice? Do I just need to keep trying the above? Or are there other specific ideas y'all have tried that have actually worked, if even just a little bit? Thanks for reading.

 

[uuser1412]

Try mdma? I don't know, try everything and anything. Something is bound to work

 

[doener11]

Firstly I just want to say I'm really sorry you feel like you hate yourself!! What worked for me is just thinking about it.. what's the point in hating yourself? Sure you can have reasons to hate yourself, some more than others, but does that actually mean anything? What does it give you? Hate naturally only leads to pain and suffering, so on yourself just makes no sense no? Well this is how I thought about it :P Idk if this really answers your question.. but I hope it helps you understand a bit more, iykwim.
It reminds me of that Einstein quote, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results". You know they already don't work, so I wouldn't recommend just trying all that you listed again.. makes no sense.
Well the one thing from that which is actually useful (at least for me) is the 'finding others that lift you up'. It is harder to hate yourself when you know others love you!!<3
And what really made the hate of myself go away for the most part is becoming religious, Christianity came into my life only a few months ago yet I feel so much better about myself, yet ik most people are pretty against religion, but it worked so I thought I'd mention it.

I'd like to try my best to help you, and it is hard when I don't know why you hate yourself. If you feel free to share why it would be much easier to help :)