Discussion How did your psychiatrist react when you told him you were thinking about CTB seriously?

[Fall_Apart]

In my experience, after a few months of therapy, I noticed that my psychiatrist was underestimating my negative thoughts, and so I felt the need to tell the truth about my CTB ideation, but at the same time I was afraid that he would threaten me with forced treatment in a psychiatric hospital. Then one day I confessed everything, but he said that they were just "normal" thoughts in my condition and continued to ignore all the signals I was sending him. Today I can say that he was an asshole, because he can't even tell when he's dealing with a person who is really determined to CTB. Instead he only worried about threatening me about benzo abuse, telling me that he would force me to go to the department of drug abusers, which means that he really is an idiot. What was your experience?

 

[DarknessAtNoon]

I don't see a psychiatrist but if I did I would never tell them about any suicide plans and risk being locked away in a psych unit. Fuck that.

 

[TheLastGreySky]

Honestly they just lock you up. I felt like a lot of therapists would forget me the second I left the room and honestly, having been diagnosed with cptsd I don't even feel like it's worth the trip outside the house to just feel patronized

 

[Fall_Apart]

Honestly they just lock you up. I felt like a lot of therapists would forget me the second I left the room and honestly, having been diagnosed with cptsd I don't even feel like it's worth the trip outside the house to just feel patronized

You are right, it is not worth it. It was just a mistake I made when I was confused. I have not had any benefit from psychiatry.

 

[Johnsonn]

I downplay it, but I mention it's a thing I struggle with. Usually I preface this subject with something like "I would never do this... but" and then go on about my thoughts.

 

[Fall_Apart]

Lo minimizzo, ma dico che è una cosa con cui ho difficoltà. Di solito premetto questo argomento con qualcosa tipo "Non lo farei mai... ma" e poi continuo a parlare dei miei pensieri.

Gotcha. Do you think he/she might have a dangerous reaction if you said you thought about doing it?

 

[venerated-vader]

As a teen I talked about it a LOT. I kept telling people I was miserable, and no one listened. Then I told them I wanted to die, and no one took me seriously. Until they did, and I thought I'd get help, but I sat in the ER with my dad for like 12 straight hours, and I had to go to school the next day. I try not to talk about it too much these days, because it feels like a thought crime. At some point your ability to advocate for yourself is shut down, and it is impossible to take back what you say.

It's actually disgusting how being suicidal is only met with punishment instead of actual assistance. Everyone gets to feel better about themselves except the one who went in asking for help in the first place.

 

[Fall_Apart]

As a teen I talked about it a LOT. I kept telling people I was miserable, and no one listened. Then I told them I wanted to die, and no one took me seriously. Until they did, and I thought I'd get help, but I sat in the ER with my dad for like 12 straight hours, and I had to go to school the next day. I try not to talk about it too much these days, because it feels like a thought crime. At some point your ability to advocate for yourself is shut down, and it is impossible to take back what you say.

It's actually disgusting how being suicidal is only met with punishment instead of actual assistance. Everyone gets to feel better about themselves except the one who went in asking for help in the first place.

I agree with you. It has become impossible to talk about it now. The social stigma has gotten much worse in recent years.

 

[venerated-vader]

I agree with you. It has become impossible to talk about it now. The social stigma has gotten much worse in recent years.

I'll argue its not so much 'worse' as it is 'stagnant'. My mom had been going to psych visits from the time she was a little girl (1960s-70s), and she had a bunch of the same concerns. I always asked her why she didn't just tell her psychiatrist the extent of her problems. I thought she wasn't trying hard enough if she wasn't willing to share the whole truth.

I guarantee you, if the system were designed differently and mental health professionals were taught how mental health actually fucking works, there would be a lot less people choosing to ctb. But when there's a price to be paid (basically losing all agency) if you speak your mind, what's the point in trying? Like who watches a movie featuring an 'insane asylum' and says "yeah, I'm gonna go put myself in a place just like that by talking about how much I want the suffering to stop"?

 

[never.more]

i actually told my psychiatrist recently-- i usually see her monthly but shes making me do biweekly appointments now. plus she jacked up my meds lmao. no psych ward but it almost went that way

 

[TheLastGreySky]

You are right, it is not worth it. It was just a mistake I made when I was confused. I have not had any benefit from psychiatry.

Legitimately, I think talking to yourself out loud is more beneficial than therapy. If you find a therapist that you really click with you definitely should keep them, but I couldn't deal with the risk of feeling invalidated and then spiraling when I would go and not have a therapist who I could talk to.

 

[Shadow_]

Both times, once a psychiatrist, once a gp who I asked for a referral to a psychiatrist, but she had an undergrad in neurology, so she wanted to flex, listened for a total of 5 minutes and gave me meds. I wish I had spoken up more the second time, but I didn't. Neither listened after hearing a brief detail of my symptoms. Trash medical providers. Don't listen to people like that. Get one who will try to understand and care.

 

[bananaolympus]

I did many years before my attempt, he just incremented slightly my ssri dose...

 

[Fall_Apart]

I did many years before my attempt, he just incremented slightly my ssri dose...

It seems that they underestimate these signals too often.

 

[Redacted24]

I've told them, then walked it back when they started their checklist questions. I called her out for doing that - I see you're going down the checklist, so I'll stop this and tell you that I'm not considering anything of the sort.

She was concerned, told me to contact her anytime if that changed.

Since then we skirt the question because she knows that I'm considering an early exit n and we talk about it obliquely. All seem satisfied with the status quo.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

My psychiatrist called the police on me because I refused to go to the hospital voluntarily.

 

[Fall_Apart]

My psychiatrist called the police on me because I refused to go to the hospital voluntarily.

Really? That was my biggest fear. Luckily in my case he didn't give a shit. In your case, what happened next?

I've told them, then walked it back when they started their checklist questions. I called her out for doing that - I see you're going down the checklist, so I'll stop this and tell you that I'm not considering anything of the sort.

She was concerned, told me to contact her anytime if that changed.

Since then we skirt the question because she knows that I'm considering an early exit n and we talk about it obliquely. All seem satisfied with the status quo.

So you think if you said that again, you'd get a threat of being locked up?

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

I ended up going voluntarily otherwise I would have been forced to anyway.

 

[Fall_Apart]

I ended up going voluntarily otherwise I would have been forced to anyway.

Gotcha. I really am sorry. I just realized that I took a big risk

 

[Thomas Rekowicz]

My psychiatrist is really chill and empathetic guy i told him i thought about jumping from a overpass when i stood on IT looking at the road below he wrote me medical referral to a psych ward and gave IT to me in case i would felt worse he also modify my meds but nothing was done by force. He knows that i am living corpse emotionally at this point.

 

[grapevoid]

Seems like a strange reaction from someone in their position.

I never had to tell my psychiatrist because I tried to do it so all my providers are very much aware that I'm serious and could likely attempt again at any given time with no notice due to the nature of my last attempt. On the contrary, even my PCP runs me through a list of questions at every appt to see where I'm at and I carefully answer because i know they'll haul me off to the psych ward if they get the impression that I'm leaning towards action.

Before my attempt, I did once say to my psychiatrist (a different one than my current one), no one will take me seriously until I'm dead. I wasn't hospitalized but he did take action and I had a crisis team show up at my home.
Also, I wasn't referring to the medical professionals, I was referring to my spouse and family "support system"