i am chronically ill and living on government disability funding. without going into detail, if i live with my partner my money will be cut off and we will be homeless. i have no where else to go and i will die on the street very quickly. i have about 3 solid friends where i live, my mother essentially abandoned me and my father is homicidal. it's not actually safe for me to live alone at this point in my illnesses and even if it was, i deserve to live with a romantic partner safely and have that sort of relationship. i cannot work, i have tried a variety of different things to make extra money and they all cause me extra pain or i get sick with an acute infection (ie upper respiratory infection/cold/flu, bronchitis, sinusitis, ear infection, etc) and can do even less for the several weeks it takes my compromised immune system to recover; i cannot work. at the very least, i cannot work enough to support myself in a sufficient way to pay for housing, food, bills, etc.
aside from the money and housing issues, my chronic illnesses are degenerative/progressive in my case and cause extreme unending unceasing pain. i have begun to accept over that past few years of getting more and more ill and less and less functional that at some point my life and quality of life will degrade to the point where the kindest, most loving choice i can make for myself is to kill myself (by my own devices or by utilizing medical suicide procedures).
what i keep coming back to is - how will i know when enough is enough? when i last discussed this with my therapist, her answer was essentially i'll know. which is true. i think ive been under the impression that when enough is enough, it wont be tied up with my mental health - which feels a bit naive, because like of course it will be tied up with depression and despair and stuff, getting progressively sicker and sicker until i cant eat or move without pain or exhaustion is going to amp up my depression and anxiety LOL like of course it is, duh. so how can i know when enough is enough, if the point of Enough is enmeshed with my mental state?
what do you think? how would you go about this? thank you <3
I'm sorry if this doesn't work for some reason, but just in case it does I am posting it for you.
If you are in U.S:
I think that there is a way to live with a partner and keep your disability as long as you pay rent and keep all your finances separate. You might need to also keep your receipts to prove that you are paying separately.
Here is what a Quora commenter said about SSI and it sounds accurate to me (although it is about living with their daughter and daughter's husband not their own partner. But I'm pretty sure I heard that as long as you don't get marrie, there is a possible way to keep receiving benefits even if living with a partner):
"Not if they state you are paying rent for your room that is the same amount of rent they would charge a stranger (no idea what rent is where they live specifically) and you ALSO pay a portion of the utilities, the increase your living with them causes the utility bill to increase to. If you get food stamps, you must purchase and prepare your food separately from theirs. They can invite you to eat with them occasionally, but you have to let the welfare office know you purchase and prepare your own food bought with food stamps. Figure out what you can claim for rent and utilities, that still leaves you a little money for necessities like shampoo, conditioner, Your rent can include the use of laundry facilities and laundry soap. Just work everything out on paper so SSI knows you pay rent and they don't drop your SSI because they think you have supplied housing at no cost to you. To better explain: SSI has two payment levels, the top one is for people paying for their own shelter; the lower amount is for people with supplied shelter which means reduced amount of rent or free shelter. Food stamps allow a deduction if you pay for HEAT and shelter separately."
This answer is posted by Janie at this link if you want the source:
There is also a website with good information about many SSI & SSDI exceptions to rules. I will try & message it to you
This Quora answer also has really good information & advice website. I wonder if you call yourself roommates or call yourself your partner's renter and then your landlord instead of partners, if that could help when you describe things to Social Security, neighbors, etc?
If your partner is also receiving benefits, I am not 100% sure how that works , sorry about that. But I'm pretty sure I have heard of people in that type of situation being roommates. I hope this isn't invalidating, I am just hoping that there might be an option that explains how you could live with your partner and still receive benefits because I know how complicated disability funding rules are and sometimes the rules have been different than what it sounded like when I called some of the program phone numbers to ask them questions (in both positive ways and negative ways. They told me you don't need to report your assets to one government organization until they ask and it can affect you if you accidentally say it early because you have 1 year until needing to report it to them.)
Can you lose your SSI when you move in with your boyfriend?
It's possible. SSI looks at two things when they look at your living arrangements: whether you're paying your fair share of rent and food and whether you are married.
If you are not paying your share of rent and food, they may deduct some from your stipend. They figure it as though the difference between your share and anything you pay is being handed to you as cash income. If you don't pay anything then the full amount they figure as your share is counted against you as income. (Note, income does not get taken out of your benefit dollar for dollar. There is a complicated system so it ends up being less deducted.)
If you are on SSI and get married, then the spouse's income affects your benefits and if they make more than a little, then you will likely be removed completely. You definitely would get a decreased amount at best.
Here's the really tricky part. If you live with a significant other but are not legally married, Social Security can decide you are "holding out as married." Yes, they can just decide to treat you like you are married even if you aren't, and penalize you accordingly.
To decide if you are holding out as married, they look at your finances, whether you have shared bank accounts and pay bills jointly, etc. They look at how you present yourself in public. They sometimes will actually go talk to your neighbors and friends to ask if you present yourself to others as married or not. I'm not sure what else they check.
I recommend talking to a disability lawyer or SSA and getting exact information of what you need to do to avoid being labeled as "holding out as married." Another tricky factor is that the SSA agents who answer the phone often don't know very much and accidentally give wrong information. You may be able to get the info you need on SSI's website. Another good resource is the blog
How to Get On.
Another thing to note is that if you move states your amount will change even if your living situation stays the same. Most states offer an additional stipend on top of SSI but that amount can vary from nothing to a few hundred dollars.
Source link:
https://www.quora.com/Will-my-SSI-d...SI amount depends in,rent (fair market value).
I think the system f-ing sucks, and that you are not getting enough support.
I was in a situation where my disability support was cut off after I had been in a relationship for 3 years - my disability was about me being a 'hopeless case' mental patient, but if you lived with someone too long, they were considered 'legally responsible' - and it ruined the relationship. Every time I've been homeless, I've made suicide attempts. I am so sorry. Only you can know when your quality of life isn't acceptable, but I think the real issue is that when that's the case, you need access to more humane options, and any civilized society would have the insight and guts to provide these. I think you deserve access to more support, understanding, and resources. I would say you shouldn't feel obligated to do anything before you feel ready, and when you are ready, you should have better options. But, I know, the world isn't ideal. Also, I would like to say I wish your therapist could have had something more compassionate or deep or something to say.
I am not sure if you're still in this type of situation or your reasons have changed, but there is a link in my comment called How to Get On that has advice about how to access disability exceptions. I just wanted to let you know in case the information is ever helpful. I know that it may not help the problem, but there is always a chance that there's new information there that other workers never told people since disability rules are so many & complex.
