Discussion How can you guys have a relatively normal life?

[StellaOctangula]

Genuine question: how do you guys live normal lives? Like working, studying for college, paying bills, stuff like that??

I'm stuck in a vicious cycle of using fiction to escape reality. It's gotten so bad that the world could be FALLING APART around me and all I can do is spend the entire day consuming media.

My daily life became:
something goes wrong in real life → i spend days escaping into fiction → repeat because avoiding it only makes the problem worse.

 

[aceHardlight]

I didn't live a normal life for like 10 years, I tried over 20 medications and 5 different doctors/therapists over the years.
I never gave up trying new meds or therapies.

Now I am taking a cocktail of 3 medications which makes life worth living most of the time.

Without it, I'd be fucked. Also after all my years of experience I can confidently say that depression is 90% genetics/ brain chemistry.

 

[GodzillasBiggestFan]

i dont live a normal life very often. sometimes i get energy and try to catch up. sometimes someone gets mad at me for being so behind and out of fear i do things. but mostly i am the same. i just sleep or escape to fiction. anythign i get done is extremely last minute or late past when i was meant to do it.

 

[SoLowHollow48]

Genuine question: how do you guys live normal lives? Like working, studying for college, paying bills, stuff like that??

I'm stuck in a vicious cycle of using fiction to escape reality. It's gotten so bad that the world could be FALLING APART around me and all I can do is spend the entire day consuming media.

My daily life became:
something goes wrong in real life → i spend days escaping into fiction → repeat because avoiding it only makes the problem worse.

You found me at the right time! How is it that we're both in the same kind of puddle?

I am supposed to hurry up and get a job but after every single rejection and not hearing anything at all from employers, I sort of just mute the world and run to fiction. I write fanfictions, I write poems, I watch Thai GL lakorns, I listen to music, I look at reels... I just turn into this, sorry if I use this word so carelessly,

a retarded consoomer.

I'm literally that screaming wojak guy pointing at something in the distance.

I think most of us just have our own vices/coping mechanisms that we use to get through the day. Some are healthy and some aren't.

I never gave up trying new meds or therapies.

Now I am taking a cocktail of 3 medications which makes life worth living most of the time.

Without it, I'd be fucked. Also after all my years of experience I can confidently say that depression is 90% genetics/ brain chemistry.

Never give up. There are days where you'll feel like the drugs aren't doing shit but that's when you ought to fight the hardest since you lost your "crutches" and must fend for yourself without them. I salute you for keeping up and I hope that you keep seeing better days every time one or two went badly. I lost my ex to depression a year ago.

I always encouraged her to try a visit to an endocrinologist because I kept suspecting that it could be something with her thyroid glands or maybe PCOS. She never got to.

i dont live a normal life very often. sometimes i get energy and try to catch up. sometimes someone gets mad at me for being so behind and out of fear i do things. but mostly i am the same. i just sleep or escape to fiction. anythign i get done is extremely last minute or late past when i was meant to do it.

No one had caught me slipping so far but I am able to feel my brain deteriorating from how much I've dissociated. Hope we can all get through this and find better coping methods.

 

[Lamentice]

Genuine question: how do you guys live normal lives? Like working, studying for college, paying bills, stuff like that??

I'm stuck in a vicious cycle of using fiction to escape reality. It's gotten so bad that the world could be FALLING APART around me and all I can do is spend the entire day consuming media.

My daily life became:
something goes wrong in real life → i spend days escaping into fiction → repeat because avoiding it only makes the problem worse.

I have to. I mean, I either work or am homeless. No family to fall back on, no intimate friendships. There is literally no choice unless I want the worst things to happen to me. I guess I could rack up a bunch of debt, but my credit cards would max out after like 6 months and then what?

 

[enjoytheride]

I have to. I mean, I either work or am homeless. No family to fall back on, no intimate friendships. There is literally no choice unless I want the worst things to happen to me. I guess I could rack up a bunch of debt, but my credit cards would max out after like 6 months and then what?

To a significant degree, it's the same here. Also work actually helps me stabilize, by giving me routine, structure and purpose. So it's almost like a treatment, although many times my mental health deteriorates because of what some coworkers or managing staff do or the way they treat me or others.

I seem to have found a way to not let sadness cripple me to a point where I can't function normally. But on the other hand, I am not a party beast or anything similar. People smile at me sometimes and it takes me a few seconds to realise and feel that, and respond in kind - if my internal state allows me to pull off that smile. :) I honestly believe sometimes people think I am not fond of them because I don't smile back with the same intensity - but I choose not to fake smiling.

With me the whole thing is probably like a tide, or rather like a fog that comes inland and then recedes. I can still function, but this fog of sadness, when it envelopes my soul, can still slow me down and make everything seem darker than it is and feel harder and more exhausting.

 

[GodzillasBiggestFan]

No one had caught me slipping so far but I am able to feel my brain deteriorating from how much I've dissociated. Hope we can all get through this and find better coping methods.

having a room mate has been good for me because someone catches me slipping but also kinda bad because i think he likes me less now because he's had to live with me and seen how i really am. we were closer as friends before i moved in.

i know what you mean about feeling the brain deteriorating. i hope you can get through it too and find better coping methods too.

 

[Lamentice]

With me the whole thing is probably like a tide, or rather like a fog that comes inland and then recedes. I can still function, but this fog of sadness, when it envelopes my soul, can still slow me down and make everything seem darker than it is and feel harder and more exhausting.

I feel ya on that

 

[eternallyjanedoe]

Genuine question: how do you guys live normal lives? Like working, studying for college, paying bills, stuff like that??

I'm stuck in a vicious cycle of using fiction to escape reality. It's gotten so bad that the world could be FALLING APART around me and all I can do is spend the entire day consuming media.

My daily life became:
something goes wrong in real life → i spend days escaping into fiction → repeat because avoiding it only makes the problem worse.

Personally, I use routines! I love making myself schedules for what I'll do during the day, whether that be a checklist or a timed event. It keeps me going and makes me stay productive.

Also... a little unrelated, but is that a Will Wood lyric in your status? If it is, I only noticed because Tomcat Disposables is my favorite Will Wood song.

 

[StellaOctangula]

Personally, I use routines! I love making myself schedules for what I'll do during the day, whether that be a checklist or a timed event. It keeps me going and makes me stay productive.

Also... a little unrelated, but is that a Will Wood lyric in your status? If it is, I only noticed because Tomcat Disposables is my favorite Will Wood song.

I've tried routines and to-do lists too but they don't always work. It's like a drug addiction to fiction. But I'm gonna try again anyway, this time for real!

YEEEEEESS IT IS WILL WOOD! I'm so happy someone got it :D
Also Ride the Cyclone???? You know peak

 

[eternallyjanedoe]

I've tried routines and to-do lists too but they don't always work. It's like a drug addiction to fiction. But I'm gonna try again anyway, this time for real!

YEEEEEESS IT IS WILL WOOD! I'm so happy someone got it :D
Also Ride the Cyclone???? You know peak

Yes, thank you so much!

There's probably a way to incorporate fiction into routine, since that's what I tend to do.
For example, maybe listening to music while doing the dishes, or watching cartoons while filing paperwork. Maybe even imagine an alternative reason for why you're doing what you do! I like to imagine scenarios in my head to motivate myself or get the time to pass by. There's definitely a way to turn the enjoyment of fiction into a productive form of escapism.

I'm sure that a lot of people use fiction as motivation as well in normal lives! I go out to many events related to my performing group, and I'm able to use acting as escapism while maintaining normalcy.

If that doesn't work out for you, that's okay too! I hope you find success in this somewhere.

 

[StellaOctangula]

You found me at the right time! How is it that we're both in the same kind of puddle?

I am supposed to hurry up and get a job but after every single rejection and not hearing anything at all from employers, I sort of just mute the world and run to fiction. I write fanfictions, I write poems, I watch Thai GL lakorns, I listen to music, I look at reels... I just turn into this, sorry if I use this word so carelessly,

a retarded consoomer.

I'm literally that screaming wojak guy pointing at something in the distance.

I think most of us just have our own vices/coping mechanisms that we use to get through the day. Some are healthy and some aren't.


Never give up. There are days where you'll feel like the drugs aren't doing shit but that's when you ought to fight the hardest since you lost your "crutches" and must fend for yourself without them. I salute you for keeping up and I hope that you keep seeing better days every time one or two went badly. I lost my ex to depression a year ago.

I always encouraged her to try a visit to an endocrinologist because I kept suspecting that it could be something with her thyroid glands or maybe PCOS. She never got to.


No one had caught me slipping so far but I am able to feel my brain deteriorating from how much I've dissociated. Hope we can all get through this and find better coping methods.

You're so real for that!! It's like a defense mechanism that evolved into a compulsion. But I'm an adult now, and Twitter and AO3 aren't gonna pay my bills or finish my degree for me.

If you find anything that helps, please share it with us

 

[calebzz1]

That's a good question.

I know that my life is far from normal at this point, basically every provider has stated that I can't work due to the severity of my visual impairment.

I was told by a top adult strabismus surgeon, neuro-ophthalmologist and neuropsychiatrist that there are only four other people like myself in terms of my condition.

I try to focus on new hobbies but ultimately am hoping for something that can improve my overall function as I feel barely functional each day unfortunately.

A lot of my situation comes down to waiting, especially for disability benefits.

I'm used to being independent, working full-time and doing a lot more for myself and being visually impaired really limits you.

I strongly dislike being an involuntary NEET but unfortunately I have no choice in the matter to change everything.

There's room for improvement with my condition but I'm not sure what else to do honestly.

I don't think your fictional escape is bad as long as it does not bleed with reality of course.

 

[lumibon]

That's a great question that you're raising in this post and I can see parallels between you and me and how we deal with stuff in life. It is much easier to dissociate and escape. I have not yet found something better than doing exactly that. However, dealing with things one day at a time seems to aid in smoothing some nasty feelings over and I found that the passage of time does help put an ease to the challenges of modern life. Letting time pass just seems to offer some much needed perspective to even the bad feelings.

 

[voc_89]

having a room mate has been good for me because someone catches me slipping but also kinda bad because i think he likes me less now because he's had to live with me and seen how i really am. we were closer as friends before i moved in.

i know what you mean about feeling the brain deteriorating. i hope you can get through it too and find better coping methods too.

just my personal experience. My brother lives with me. He has seen me at my best and worst. I have seen him at his best and worst. We have gotten very close since. Before our relationship was i guess just surface level. Just my experience on being a 'loon' and someone seing you without the mask on

To op, if you found what works for you then accept it for what it is. I was at both extremes. Totally into fiction (love my anime, manga and gaming). and a socialite. The socialite was fun for a bit but it made my mood swing between extremes as my joy was dependent on humans. And humans are fickle asf. You sound young (LMAO have i become that adult?) but in life, you need outlets. Find the ones that work for you and really help you escape this dread existence we call life. For me its fiction. I am 100% in it. Social connections I have either blocked or deleted. And honestly my life has been so much freeing since. Should have done that much earlier.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I remind myself of the alternative- poor health, losing my job, possible eventual homelessness. The idea of suffering more tends to frighten me into doing the bare minimum.

I'm also afraid of failure/ letting people down/ being judged- so- that pushes me to act too.

I compromise with myself to try and make things more bearable. I start work late (working from home) and work later into the evenings. I work more or less every day but I work slower than when I did 9-5 jobs. I constantly put media and distractions on in the background.

It's not like you need to give your fascination with fiction up. You can still have stuff on in the background- audiobooks, podcasts, even films/ series. But then- you tell yourself- I'm going to do work/ chores for the length of this film or whatever. It doesn't always work but, it helps at least.

That said, I have also let so much go. It tends to be dictated by how much I can put up with in terms of awful living conditions vs. how much I hate fixing the problem.

 

[GodzillasBiggestFan]

just my personal experience. My brother lives with me. He has seen me at my best and worst. I have seen him at his best and worst. We have gotten very close since. Before our relationship was i guess just surface level. Just my experience on being a 'loon' and someone seing you without the mask on

my room mate does care about me i know, but he said he feels less close now. maybe we could be close again one day. he did invite me to his party, i think it can be better, i want to be friends and hang out with him again and i think maybe now he does too.