How can people become 40 or 50 without ctb?

[noname223]

I once read a David Foster Wallace quote I currently don't find about suicide. It was roundabout: The true question about life is how can someone reach the age of 40 or 50 without commiting suicide beforehand. At least for me I ask myself this question either. Probably because I am just like DFW always suicidal and depressed since years. I cannot understand how I could live with that over coming DECADES. I mean WTF.
Yeah probably most people don't really are always severe depressed and unhappy. But there is so much to be unhappy about in life. The feeling of reaching this age is horrifying for me if the circumstances don't change dramatically. However suicide is still scary either. :(

 

[FuneralCry]

I never want to reach that age. Old age is the thing I fear the most. To answer the question, I think because taking our own lives is hard. Many people have suicidal thoughts but they do not manage to go through with it. There is the survival instinct, as us humans are programmed to survive and live. When we have problems, many of us naturally try to work through them. Many people only ctb when they reach the point of desperation.
Some people haven't had much bad luck, and a lack of physical/mental problems. They are able to cope with life better as they have not suffered as much.

 

[BlankUser]

I'm actually afraid of aging. I wouldn't be so afraid if I had some achievements in my life. But I have no career, no education... I think aging for men isn't that bad though... It's way worse for women.

 

[Lost Magic]

40 and 50 isn't even old, especially nowadays. Anyway, David Foster Wallace, died at age 46 years (1962–2008). For him, that must have been ancient. Cause he took his life. I can relate though. I should have died years ago.

UPDATE: I also found out that David Foster Wallace struggled with depression, alcoholism, drug addiction, and suicidal tendencies, with recurrent psychiatric hospitalizations. So it wasn't just the getting older part that contributed to his suicidal thoughts.

 

[Ramirez]

I guess most people actually really like being alive and would do anything to avoid death as long as they can. I dont get it either just like normal people don't understand how I hate life.

I'm actually afraid of aging. I wouldn't be so afraid if I had some achievements in my life. But I have no career, no education... I think aging for men isn't that bad though... It's way worse for women.

I never would wanna get much older than I am rn. I really care about my looks kinda

 

[k75]

I'm in my 40s... I never seriously wanted to kill myself until a few years ago. I haven't been depressed my whole life, so I guess it wasn't hard to stay alive.

Now is another story...

I don't hate life, but nothing can ever be fixed now.

 

[motel rooms]

What a weird question. Why would a happy, healthy person wanna ctb at any age?

 

[Teepbak]

I think the majority of people don't want to commit suicide. Like, they may have suicidal thoughts every once in awhile or for a period of time. But, the pleasure they experience in their daily lives offsets the pain. Plus, I think most people have a reason to live. For instance, in poorer countries (which is most of the world- China, India, etc) the father of a family needs to work because women and children may not be able to get paid enough. So if he were to ctb his family would be screwed.

 

[lofticries]

40s and 50s isn't that old now considering everyone living till 80 and wish to live to 100. Lets say hell freezes over and I find happiness.....I'm still ctb before I hit an age to where I can no longer live an independent life comfortably. but as of now the rule of the thumb is to wait until my parents are dead so it could very well be in the 40s-50s in which I die. I don't really have a prob living that long if I'm getting my shit together in the process to do so. Do I wanna die right now,yes. But I am not in a hurry to do so atm if that makes any sense.

 

[motel rooms]

40s and 50s isn't that old now

 

[Teepbak]

40s and 50s isn't that old now considering everyone living till 80 and wish to live to 100. Lets say hell freezes over and I find happiness.....I'm still ctb before I hit an age to where I can no longer live an independent life comfortably. but as of now the rule of the thumb is to wait until my parents are dead so it could very well be in the 40s-50s in which I die. I don't really have a prob living that long if I'm getting my shit together in the process to do so. Do I wanna die right now,yes. But I am not in a hurry to do so atm if that makes any sense.

True that. With all those years leading up to 40-50 happiness can be found. Not to mention medical advancements, the legalization of assisted suicide, etc etc that will improve life too.

 

[BlankUser]

I never would wanna get much older than I am rn. I really care about my looks kinda

I think men age better than women. There's this saying - men age like wine and women age like milk...

 

[Bullit]

I just read something about a Stanford scientist who is working on an injection of "super human" cells. This is DNA from people- and most of us have seen a few- who go through life and are highly resistant to the diseases that tear us down. Supposedly this would confer benefits on us. I do have some doubts about that,I've seen my share of horror movies,lol,sometimes shit goes wrong.
But I envy people who are well adjusted and doing well. Could be some good stuff coming down. Maybe 98 year olds banging the hell out of Asian stewardess ,I dk!

 

[unperson]

I think men age better than women. There's this saying - men age like wine and women age like milk...

Well... it's different when living at home and getting older, less energetic, more depressed, not dating for 6+ years. Gender is irrelevant at that point

 

[Lost Magic]

Nah, it all depends on how the women look after themselves. There are a lot of beautiful mature women.

I think men age better than women. There's this saying - men age like wine and women age like milk.

 

[Pluto]

Speaking for myself, I have reached the age of 40 because I bullshitted to myself about things getting better endlessly, and distracted myself with struggling to survive/buy a house. I once managed to buy some N but discarded it after it was years past its use-by date, only to realise it's now so much harder to get.

Also, I have researched near-death studies a lot, which often paints a very mixed picture of what people go through on the other side.

As an aside, there seems to be a lot of research showing that the 40-50 year age group is on average the unhappiest, while 70-80 is one of the happiest. The reasons for this are open to interpretation, but are of course not applicable to all individuals.

I think men age better than women. There's this saying - men age like wine and women age like milk...

Many men have an overtly high opinion of themselves, just as many women have an overtly low view of themselves. What we see in the mirror is not just an image, but something actively being interpreted, criticised, compared and judged by the mind. There are people who break through and take control of their thoughts to win back a sense of wellbeing.

 

[Apathy79]

I've made it into the 40s without suicide ever being seriously contemplated, despite losing my best friend to it 2 years ago and being here trying to understand it since.

I think love plays a big part. Historically love for God and spiritual endeavour was probably the biggest reason to live. Nowadays love for family / others often drives it. Even love for the world and a belief in your contribution towards its betterment. Ideally all 3.

When combined with reasonable physical and especially mental health, and an ability to support yourself, I think most would (and do) choose life.

Lose one of those 4 things (love, physical health, mental health, means of supporting yourself), and especially 2, 3, or God forbid 4, and I think you start seeing the suicide rates spike precipitously. For those people, the statement makes sense.

 

[Susan472]

I can't believe I'm still alive at 55 myself. I keep making comebacks from 'rock bottom' and wonder is this my reality until death from other causes? Perhaps acceptance of this might help. It gets harder and harder to start again when you're older though.

 

[Sslsh]

i dont want to live past 30 in any which case. I am 25 right now.

 

[Amumu]

Certainly not for me, I've been depressed my whole life, and it seems impossible.

 

[Dymming Star6]

I can't believe I'm still alive at 55 myself. I keep making comebacks from 'rock bottom' and wonder is this my reality until death from other causes? Perhaps acceptance of this might help. It gets harder and harder to start again when you're older though.

Yes, I understand your exact astonishment, however, I am 48 at present. I have been severely depressed/suicidal since I was the tender age of 12. I started my first attempt by trying to hang myself. I have slit my wrists numerous of times starting at age 14. I overdosed on anti-depressants/alcohol at both 19 & 25 which both times resulted in being admitted to ICU, comatosed for 1 week, and involuntary committment to the mental ward, unfortunately. At the age of 30, I drank a whole 20 oz. Pepsi bottle filled with antifreeze which only ended in extreme nausea/vomitting blood for several days, but still alive. Some time in my late 30's, I was then diagnosed with BiPolar II, Avoidant Personality Disorder with severe suicidal ideation while spending 1 month in the hospital mental ward followed by 4 months in the State hospital. I never thought I would make it to the age of 40 since my self destructive thoughts/actions have never stopped when I just want to get off the damn rollercoaster for once. You are so right it just gets so much more difficult to keep climbing upward from the fucking bottom. I am so determined at this point to not make it to my 50's and suffer more than I have with the additional tortures of menopause, fuck that! I will be ctbing very soon and hopefully, find my true peace...

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

Speaking for myself, I have reached the age of 40 because I bullshitted to myself about things getting better endlessly, and distracted myself with struggling to survive/buy a house. I once managed to buy some N but discarded it after it was years past its use-by date, only to realise it's now so much harder to get.

Also, I have researched near-death studies a lot, which often paints a very mixed picture of what people go through on the other side.

As an aside, there seems to be a lot of research showing that the 40-50 year age group is on average the unhappiest, while 70-80 is one of the happiest. The reasons for this are open to interpretation, but are of course not applicable to all individuals.



Many men have an overtly high opinion of themselves, just as many women have an overtly low view of themselves. What we see in the mirror is not just an image, but something actively being interpreted, criticised, compared and judged by the mind. There are people who break through and take control of their thoughts to win back a sense of wellbeing

People in their 70's and 80's who are happy are safe and retired. The unhappy ones are dead or homeless or living alone. I don't think there's ever a massive survey asking people of all ages how happy they are. It's non-information.

 

[Bullit]

Yes, I understand your exact astonishment, however, I am 48 at present. I have been severely depressed/suicidal since I was the tender age of 12. I started my first attempt by trying to hang myself. I have slit my wrists numerous of times starting at age 14. I overdosed on anti-depressants/alcohol at both 19 & 25 which both times resulted in being admitted to ICU, comatosed for 1 week, and involuntary committment to the mental ward, unfortunately. At the age of 30, I drank a whole 20 oz. Pepsi bottle filled with antifreeze which only ended in extreme nausea/vomitting blood for several days, but still alive. Some time in my late 30's, I was then diagnosed with BiPolar II, Avoidant Personality Disorder with severe suicidal ideation while spending 1 month in the hospital mental ward followed by 4 months in the State hospital. I never thought I would make it to the age of 40 since my self destructive thoughts/actions have never stopped when I just want to get off the damn rollercoaster for once. You are so right it just gets so much more difficult to keep climbing upward from the fucking bottom. I am so determined at this point to not make it to my 50's and suffer more than I have with the additional tortures of menopause, fuck that! I will be ctbing very soon and hopefully, find my true peace...

You've had a very tough time,I'm sorry you had all this shit inflicted on you. May I ask you what method you're considering for ctb?? Thanks.

 

[Dymming Star6]

You've had a very tough time,I'm sorry you had all this shit inflicted on you. May I ask you what method you're considering for ctb?? Thanks.

Thank for your empathy and kind words. Sure, I plan on using the SN method based on the plethora of information/guides which I have reviewed from the awesome people on this great site. My pleasure.

 

[Grav]

Making it past 50 I can say sometimes you realize time has just kept going on. Throw in kids and that was an incentive to keep plodding. There's always the "once I make it to <some stage> things might change" life preservers that come around. Ups and downs can make things bearable and sometimes the lows mellow out and you keep going. Now on the back end I can look and see that the best days are pretty much gone. I see the "active elderly" ads and that's not true for most who go into a nursing home, life expectancy is about 5 years and most come in with depression already.