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Dresired

Dresired

Member
Mar 24, 2023
14
TL:DR at the bottom.

I hate holidays. Due to social phobia.
A big portion of my family (around 15 people) came here for holidays, and my house is not big enough to comfortably accommodate that...
My country is going through a massive heat wave (south hemisphere), it makes my room feels like an oven, which means i had to stay in between everyone. It felt so bad, I'm the weirdo of the family.
My room used to be very private until they build a floor in the front of the window, it's sort of an open space, but now, people can just go there and look inside... It's totally invasive, it fucking sucks.
And what's more humiliating is that my intestine is heavily linked to my anxiety, and now I'm 7 days without managing to evacuate, people don't talk enough about the psychological pain that it's to have health problems related to intestine, it's so disgusting and humiliating...
This whole situation has pushed me to my limits, i even managed to cry (emotional blockage) after nearly an year...
I tried to take 4 pills of Quetiapin to sleep the whole day, and it didn't worked, so i spent the whole day with my bowels feeling like they'll explode and feeling like inside an oven...
I brought a knife to my room, and i tried to cut myself... But I'm too scared and i flinch before getting to blood...
Sorry, English is not my main language, so this text must be really awkward to read, and the content itself too.

TL:DR
How to overcome the fear of self harm?? I really need any kind of relief...
 
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