Voidad
The Fearful
- May 4, 2023
- 47
Really can't take it anymore. I've been trying to get accepted into a psychiatric ward, stay there for around 2 months, as like a last resort to my problems but it's always full.
Seems I'm just invisible to them, like tears in the rain, even when I'm at my last legs, my last breaths.
I'm well convinced this pain is not going away. And I'm done with rotting away in my room, listening to other people that it will get better, waiting for something to change.
It's been more than ten years, since I was fighting this, only to get worse and worse.
I'm very scared of death, everyone. Even when writing this post, I cannot help but shake in fear.
But I just cannot take being alive for another day anymore. There is no way death can be worse than this.
And even if I manage to be brave, not sure what method I can use... I don't have a gun, I don't have access to like the roof of a very tall structure, medications don't do crap and... well doing stuff with knives might be the hardest and most unreliable method...
How can I be less scared of it? How can I build up the courage to actually do something? And what can I do?
Please, anyone, give me some advice.
And also, I do apologize for not using any terms or abbreviations or anything. I don't spend a lot of time on this web-site, so I do not know much.
Seems I'm just invisible to them, like tears in the rain, even when I'm at my last legs, my last breaths.
I'm well convinced this pain is not going away. And I'm done with rotting away in my room, listening to other people that it will get better, waiting for something to change.
It's been more than ten years, since I was fighting this, only to get worse and worse.
I'm very scared of death, everyone. Even when writing this post, I cannot help but shake in fear.
But I just cannot take being alive for another day anymore. There is no way death can be worse than this.
And even if I manage to be brave, not sure what method I can use... I don't have a gun, I don't have access to like the roof of a very tall structure, medications don't do crap and... well doing stuff with knives might be the hardest and most unreliable method...
How can I be less scared of it? How can I build up the courage to actually do something? And what can I do?
Please, anyone, give me some advice.
And also, I do apologize for not using any terms or abbreviations or anything. I don't spend a lot of time on this web-site, so I do not know much.
