how are you? really?

[ManicNarcissus]

i've been bouncing between manic & hypo for going on 2 weeks. i cant think, cant perform well at work, and have zero patience for anyone or anything. nothing moves fast enough, nothing works well enough, and i feel like an engine thats about to explode.

but besides that i'm doing okay

 

[Marine]

I don't understand why my best efforts lead to me being tortured to annihilation and make me wish I was never born.

 

[Peaceful Departure]

I'm not doing well :( I feel trapped in my current situation and the stress of my job and my financial issues is triggering some really bad BPD mood swings. I'm constantly switching between being ready to CTB to being terrified of it and wanting to stay alive. I'm just so overwhelmed with stress and anxiety and I wish I could just feel okay again.

Feels just like my life minus the bpd (which i know makes a huge difference!). Stuck between 3 people who have ruthlessly abused me. Unable to escape because they hold control over me, that has me beyond terrified to even try to escape (i've tried before). Drowning in shame despite my friends and my therapist reassuring me that the only people who should have shame in this situation are the people who have done this to me. Coupled with the shame is an unrelenting fear that sends me into a panic when in public (polar opposite from the person i once was). So I ain't doing great to say the least

 

[Draxolotl]

Feeling better today. I re filled my medications yesterday, picked them up today. There is an anxiety hanging in me about actually taking them.
I need to give myself an injection for my HRT and i need to take my pills, but I'm worried I'll feel worse, for some reason.
I've been off them, cold turkey, for over a month. it's intimidating, but I know it's better for me if I do than if I don't.
yet i hesitate.

 

[Green Destiny]

I only wish to walk away from this life I did not ask for. That is how I feel.

 

[chloramine]

Tired. I got a job recently and I think my current routine is stable enough to keep doing and I'm not going to ctb, but I still beg for something to kill me. I still think about it every day. I even theoretically have goals although I don't actually want them most of the time, they're just the least objectionable options given living will continue. I'm just so tired and I want to be done.

 

[BornByGhosts]

i had some really nice experiences recently and it feels like a final sendoff
i am glad to experience wonderful people at the tail end of my life
all my life ive felt like always watching people live their lives through a glass window
finally feels like they acknowledged me and waved goodbye, even for a fleeting moment yknow

 

[chronically_alive]

Hi, fellow stranger!

I'm not doing so well. I've been harbouring thoughts of suicide.

My family situation is not very peaceful right now. There's lots of yelling and hitting. Even though I'm not involved, it does feel unpleasant to witness it happening or to hear those screams emanating from downstairs.

But other than that, I feel like life is going pretty well. I'm reaching out to friends and buying gifts to show appreciation for them.

I feel like I don't have much time left. I'm somewhat determined to CTB, but there's still a part of me which hesitates. I don't know.

 

[parader]

i'm actually quite scared, for mental reasons really
it started raining about 2 days ago after a long drought and now everything is cloudy and windy
i come from a place where it can go over 4 to 6 months without any rain, and the other half of the year is marked by thunderstorms
i always celebrate when the rainy times are back, it brings me joy and great memories, makes me more nostalgic and emotional than ever
it also reminds me that the year is coming to an end
i'm scared that all this rain in the next few months will mess up my mental state, when it's raining i can't stop reliving the past and feeling terrible for the future

 

[pole]

tired and alone.

 

[AnonGermany]

Loneliness kicking in hard today. Not sure why. It's mostly a day like all the other days. The days feel so much longer at the moment. I could really need a hug in real life, it's been so long. I'm struggling to do ANYTHING at all.

It's just one of those days :/

 

[S like suicide]

:(

 

[AlwaysAnhedonia]

Addicted, insomnia, anxiety, depression and of course Anhedonic. Other than that life is swell.

 

[everydayiloveyou]

I've been depressed since I moved across the country. I miss my friends and family, and being able to do stuff. I'm trapped in my apartment now

so I'm back here to be miserable about it since all my friends are hours ahead of me timezone wise, so no one else to really talk to when it gets bad at night

 

[thatworthlessmale04]

currently gathering the right amount of courage to finally CTB. i'm so ready to finally get out of this worthless life. i caused both of my parents to suffer tremendously by being born, and I have been getting punished greatly for it.

 

[EndofSmallSanctuary]

I'm lost. Everyday is the same and I feel as if im rotting away, using substances is the closest I get to feeling fine.

 

[Green Destiny]

Hi, fellow stranger!

I'm not doing so well. I've been harbouring thoughts of suicide.

My family situation is not very peaceful right now. There's lots of yelling and hitting. Even though I'm not involved, it does feel unpleasant to witness it happening or to hear those screams emanating from downstairs.

But other than that, I feel like life is going pretty well. I'm reaching out to friends and buying gifts to show appreciation for them.

I feel like I don't have much time left. I'm somewhat determined to CTB, but there's still a part of me which hesitates. I don't know.

I grew up around so much fighting and yelling so I get where you're coming from. Got so bad the Cops were called on more than one occasion. Now I can't stand people who yell and scream, it terrifies me. Hope it gets better for you

 

[AbsurdCapybara]

Lonely. I'm separated from my husband who dumped me and am working on myself, trying to be more independent. I ended up with a new house but with soul-crushing loneliness living alone. I should be thankful to have a roof over my head but I just feel pain & emptiness inside.

 

[90SecondsToMidnight]

I really don't have much going for me. Cant exactly complain but cant boast or be proud of anything either. Not really sure why I've pushed this far but i'm still here so there's that.
How about yourself, Friend?

 

[Zyrus]

Im ok rn . Had worse times had better times. I dont really care anymore at the moment though.

 

[StolenLife]

I'm constantly haunted by my past mistakes and behaviours. I hate the high school me so much.

 

[yukii]

tell me about yourself, stranger.

not too good, considering the fact that i'm here. people are recommending me to see counsellors and therapists, but honestly they all suck and the only thing i want would probably be a genuine friend who can offer me good advice.

 

[straydog]

I'm not doing well. My relationship with my partner is destroying me, my job is pointless and draining, my heart aches with longing for a time when I was happy. I oscillate between pain and numbness. But I'm still standing, and that's enough for now.

 

[omarofficial10]

I just don't have anyone in my life. The only person in my life who ever cared about is dead. I have no friends I have no family I am already nothing but a living corpse

 

[ChronicallyCynical]

Tired and stressed. Also, my head is sore.
Got a bit worse again when I thought something bad happened to the site again, but fortunately, it came back sans more losses.
Also, a bit nauseous, but I think that's the fear of church talking. I'm hoping to avoid it; we'll see how that goes.

 

[dead_milky]

trying to recover, but not really. I'd like to be healthy but I want to max out my insanity. I just had a self harm relapse after almost a year. I want to sh but I don't want to sh. I want scars and pain I don't want the paranoia about infections. I want to ctb but I want to live. I'm a mess.
But if I don't delve too much into my thoughts, I suppose I'm fine. It's weird. I'm fine, I'm only not fine when I think too much about these things

 

[ame-chan]

Scared. The future scares me. I don't want to live for decades doing the same thing every day. I'm sure it can't be that bad but I don't want to. I want to enjoy my years a little longer while I'm at university but after that I think I'll break down.

 

[DeathSleep]

I used to smile more. I miss that about me. Even when I was smiling to fake it. I don't smile or really laugh anymore. It's been quite a long time now. It's like a light in me died. It took a while to go out but it's gone now. I don't think it will ever come back. Without it I feel empty. Just a shell with nothing positive to give. Just a shadow of my former self trying to die.

 

[WastedBandaid]

i unfortunately got a skin infection from my self harm lmao and my most recent cuts are taking so much more to heal, showering is straight up painful due to the blisters on my skin, i think i'm inmune to the antibiotics, school starts in two hours i didn't sleep for the whole night… but i'm 6/10 okay-ish. i just wished my skin would get better so i can keep self harming in peace lol

 

[MulherSatanás]

Completely exhausted, hurt and sick.