SinisterKid

SinisterKid

Visionary
Jun 1, 2019
2,113
The last thing I remember was sitting on the floor after downing my own private cocktail and listening to my favourite playlist of rock classics, punk and grunge. I lost a week of my life to add to the 3 yrs I spent in a drug induced haze :wink:

I see no reason to change anything apart from the location, which needs to change.
 
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W

whyidon'tknow

Human
Jun 9, 2019
356
The last thing I remember was sitting on the floor after downing my own private cocktail and listening to my favourite playlist of rock classics, punk and grunge. I lost a week of my life to add to the 3 yrs I spent in a drug induced haze :wink:

I see no reason to change anything apart from the location, which needs to change.

What did you take?
 
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Severen

Severen

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,819
I will try to be careful and google something else before passing out. I doubt people will actually look at my online history. They're not that smart. Plus, they don't know how to read english.
Thanks, I appreciate it.
 
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S

sicknessuntodeath

New Member
Jun 9, 2019
4
I will definitely be smoking myself silly, not sure about anything else, but I'm definitely going to be high on my way out.
 
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RM5998

RM5998

Sack of Meat
Sep 3, 2018
2,202
Scared out of my wits, most likely. Hopefully won't be too scared to go through.
 
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mathieu

mathieu

Enlightened
Jun 5, 2019
1,090
I'll probably smoke a cig, maybe listen to a song and give my dog a hug goodbye.
 
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Justwantittoend

Justwantittoend

Member
Jun 10, 2019
9
I'll spend the day before trying to be as close to "normal" me as possible. But during/before the act I've got a playlist of my favorite songs set up and I'll have a little stash of weed so I can have my two favorite things one last time.
 
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Ruffian

Ruffian

Jumpin Jack Flash, it’s a gas gas gas
Jan 16, 2019
696
I will probably spend my last minutes on this site describing my experience with SN until I feel like passing out. I want to be helpful for people who actually deserve it for once.
I'm actually thinking about trying to find a couple of people on here who I can trust. A difficult task, because I don't trust people easily, and believe me, if you saw me on paper, you would have doubts of your own. I'm not offended, I've just had more than a brush with the law. Totally non-violent, no-one was hurt, and I am ashamed of each one every day of my life,
 
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blanketyblk

blanketyblk

Mage
Jun 9, 2019
575
Call my ex-partner. Apologize for everything. Watch night Mother.

'Night mother is one of those movies i watch maybe once a fortnight or so. the statement Jessie makes. ring sso true to me. this me in a nutshell. wating for the better version of me to turn up. so yeah i agree with your choice! it's one the most moving movies you can watch when dealing with this issue,

Mama, listen. I am not your child, I am what became of your child.

I found an old baby picture of me. And it was somebody else, not me. It was somebody pink and fat who never heard of sick or lonely, somebody who cried and got fed,, and reached up and got held and kicked but didn't hurt anybody, and slept whenever she wanted to, just by closing her eyes. Somebody who mainly just laid there and laughed at the colors waving around over her head and chewed on a polka-dot whale and woke up knowing some new trick nearly every day and rolled over and drooled on the sheet and felt your hand pulling my quilt back up over me.

That's who I started out and this is who is left. That's what this is about. It's somebody I lost, all right, it's my own self. Who I never was. Or who I tried to be and never got there. Somebody I waited for who never came. And never will. So, see, it doesn't much matter what else happens in the world or in this house, even. I'm what was worth waiting for and I didn't make it. Me...who might have made a difference to me...I'm not going to show up, so there's no reason to stay, except to keep you company, and that's...not reason enough because I'm not...very good company.
 
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KnightOfEnceladus

KnightOfEnceladus

Lost child in time
May 20, 2019
231
What I'm really hoping is to be able to rent a cheap hotel room, take my method (2-methyl-2-butanol + metoclopramide + a whole lot of propranolol + a few benadryl), then open laptop, leave it unplugged so it goes off after a few hours, and spend my last conscious hour or so telling my girlfriend how much i love her and listening to soothing music.
 
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Faraway1990

Faraway1990

Student
Jun 2, 2019
195
What I'm really hoping is to be able to rent a cheap hotel room, take my method (2-methyl-2-butanol + metoclopramide + a whole lot of propranolol + a few benadryl), then open laptop, leave it unplugged so it goes off after a few hours, and spend my last conscious hour or so telling my girlfriend how much i love her and listening to soothing music.

Will you let her know you're about to CTB? I'm going to be talking with my love before I go but I don't know if I should.(I've written a time delay email explaining why and ensuring she knows I didn't suffer.)
 
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M

Morphinekiss

Enlightened
Jun 8, 2019
1,207
I'd definitely make sure to eat pizza and a damn good cheeseburger that day, since I hate myself now and don't eat carbs.
 
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KnightOfEnceladus

KnightOfEnceladus

Lost child in time
May 20, 2019
231
Will you let her know you're about to CTB? I'm going to be talking with my love before I go but I don't know if I should.(I've written a time delay email explaining why and ensuring she knows I didn't suffer.)
Absolutely yes. We've discussed this extensively. We are actually each others' reasons to continue living, though she's in a good enough place now that she can keep going without me, or so she says anyway. Neither of us is unfamiliar with suicide, and her condition was that I just let her know beforehand.
 
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Sitokirment

Sitokirment

Member
Jun 6, 2019
37
Driving and listening to music. Not because of anything particular, but because the bridge is on a highway.

Usually I don't do anything different. No goodbyes or notes. I eat breakfast like normal. To be honest trying to ctb makes me feel good. I get excited every time.
 
G

GHOST99

Member
Jun 8, 2019
39
I'll be alone, smoke some weed get munchies and just have a good time with myself before goin kaput lol
 
C

Cleopatra123

Arcanist
Jun 8, 2019
488
For the hours/minutes leading up to you taking your life, aside from planning and preparations, what are you going to do?

My plan? I will pray to whoever that they take care of my family and friends, put on my favorite song Shadow Waltz- Harry Warren, and spend one last moment think back to the memories that made me happy in life.
Driving and listening to music. Not because of anything particular, but because the bridge is on a highway.

Usually I don't do anything different. No goodbyes or notes. I eat breakfast like normal. To be honest trying to ctb makes me feel good. I get excited every time.
I will pray for forgiveness, write a goodbye note to my children insuring them this is not their fault and I love them, and listen to music: The Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven, Rachmaninoff's Concerto #2, Led's "Stairway to Heaven, Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody.
 
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