Help help me go painlessly.

[notben1]

So I've basically wanted to commit suicide since i experienced some serious trauma between the ages of 11-13. I still want to commit suicide every day, I'm 26, 27 in November. I made some choices I regret and I can't back out of and now I'm looking to end it all painlessly. I see a lot of people talking about sodium nitrate, I was wondering how painless it is. My last attempt failed (chloromine gas) because I failed to mix the chloroform needed to pass out before I felt the sting of the chloromine. I've also been considering helium, as there's a holiday around the corner and I could easily get myself a helium tank. I was hoping someone could give me more information on the methods I've provided, on their painlessness and ease of access, specifically SN, does it hurt? Is it quick?
I've tried pretty much every recovery resource available to me, none of it helped. I had a beautiful girlfriend for years, not even she could help pull me out of this. I fear a lifetime of this anguish. Please help me go peacefully.

 

[traingirl]

So I've basically wanted to commit suicide since i experienced some serious trauma between the ages of 11-13. I still want to commit suicide every day, I'm 26, 27 in November. I made some choices I regret and I can't back out of and now I'm looking to end it all painlessly. I see a lot of people talking about sodium nitrate, I was wondering how painless it is. My last attempt failed (chloromine gas) because I failed to mix the chloroform needed to pass out before I felt the sting of the chloromine. I've also been considering helium, as there's a holiday around the corner and I could easily get myself a helium tank. I was hoping someone could give me more information on the methods I've provided, on their painlessness and ease of access, specifically SN, does it hurt? Is it quick?
I've tried pretty much every recovery resource available to me, none of it helped. I had a beautiful girlfriend for years, not even she could help pull me out of this. I fear a lifetime of this anguish. Please help me go peacefully.

SN is pretty much unobtainable now. There's a list of resources that will tell you more and you can use the search function to search keywords.

 

[Off_Switch]

To me, it seems like carbon monoxide while asleep is the only painless way to go.

 

[hell toupee]

There is a golden rule that I think generally applies here.

You can only choose 2 of these 3 attributes, and no more than 2.

Fast
Painless
Reliable

Unfortunately, there aren't any fast, painless methods that are easily accessible.

Given this is a major decision, it's going to take some time to research the proper methods. Look in the resource section.

The main takeaway should be you don't want to try something half hazardly and end up with all the problems you have now, but even worse.

 

[kabuto43]

So I've basically wanted to commit suicide since i experienced some serious trauma between the ages of 11-13. I still want to commit suicide every day, I'm 26, 27 in November. I made some choices I regret and I can't back out of and now I'm looking to end it all painlessly. I see a lot of people talking about sodium nitrate, I was wondering how painless it is. My last attempt failed (chloromine gas) because I failed to mix the chloroform needed to pass out before I felt the sting of the chloromine. I've also been considering helium, as there's a holiday around the corner and I could easily get myself a helium tank. I was hoping someone could give me more information on the methods I've provided, on their painlessness and ease of access, specifically SN, does it hurt? Is it quick?
I've tried pretty much every recovery resource available to me, none of it helped. I had a beautiful girlfriend for years, not even she could help pull me out of this. I fear a lifetime of this anguish. Please help me go peacefully.

Helium is very painless but the thing is u have to find an actual tank with pure helium in it and the holiday ones they sell don't have pure helium cuz they're mixed with oxygen which means the method can't work unless the inert gas in actually pure which leaves SN and that's a good enough method as well but it's hard to access although it's still accessible if you're pointed in the right direction

 

[Infinitespace_]

There is a golden rule that I think generally applies here.

You can only choose 2 of these 3 attributes, and no more than 2.

Fast
Painless
Reliable

Unfortunately, there aren't any fast, painless methods that are easily accessible.

Given this is a major decision, it's going to take some time to research the proper methods. Look in the resource section.

The main takeaway should be you don't want to try something half hazardly and end up with all the problems you have now, but even worse.

Isn't it odd there are no suicide kits? this problem can easily be solved.

 

[Hiro Uchiha]

Why do you even want to commit suicide. Think about the people in your life that you would hurt, even if you don't care about yourself.

I think he just said why.

 

[Hollowman]

Why do you even want to commit suicide. Think about the people in your life that you would hurt, even if you don't care about yourself.

Why do you want to be a hero?

 

[Hollowman]

I'm not being a hero. I'm trying to make them think about their actions before they make a life changing decision.

He said he faced some trauma. Theirs not context at all

Go to the recovery section. Your efforts might be appreciated there.

 

[hell toupee]

Isn't it odd there are no suicide kits? this problem can easily be solved.

Of course it could easily be solved - the problem is various religions have convinced the government that 'only god can take human life'.

Nothing against organized religion, but these people will fight tooth and nail to prevent even people with cancer or the most horrible of diseases from ending their life.

I remember a long time ago when Dr. Krevorkian ("Dr. Death") was all over the news for helping people with Lou Gherig's disease (ALS) die using carbon monoxide. Every time you turned around the guy was being sued for this and that - even when he would video tape people in excruciating pain, just barely able to mouth the words "I want to die" and people still gave the guy shit for it. I think he actually went to jail for a period of time.

It's sickening. If you are of sound mind and no longer want to continue with existence, it should be nobody else's decision as to what I do with my life.

 

[homeboundcripple]

There is a golden rule that I think generally applies here.

You can only choose 2 of these 3 attributes, and no more than 2.

Fast
Painless
Reliable

Unfortunately, there aren't any fast, painless methods that are easily accessible.

Given this is a major decision, it's going to take some time to research the proper methods. Look in the resource section.

The main takeaway should be you don't want to try something half hazardly and end up with all the problems you have now, but even worse.

Carbon monoxide is all three, if you do your homework.

 

[itsgone2]

Carbon monoxide is all three, if you do your homework.

I'm concerned about reliability. I don't know if it's my brain tricking me though. Nothing is certain anyway. Goal was two chimney starters worth of charcoal , in small bathroom. Maybe I still should.

 

[homeboundcripple]

I'm concerned about reliability. I don't know if it's my brain tricking me though. Nothing is certain anyway. Goal was two chimney starters worth of charcoal , in small bathroom. Maybe I still should.

Yes, its the fear of death thats playing tricks with your mind, ignore it. Thats about 5kg worth, more than enough, if the environment is small, zero leakage then you will ctb.

 

[hell toupee]

Carbon monoxide is all three, if you do your homework.

Not really.

Fast doesn't apply - it takes some preparation and sourcing of materials, IF, you want it to be reliable.

 

[homeboundcripple]

Not really.

Fast doesn't apply - it takes some preparation and sourcing of materials, IF, you want it to be reliable.

Of course, preparation goes without saying. But why doesn't 'fast' apply? If you enter a high-ppm, sealed environment while extremely tired, you will pass out within minutes or seconds.

 

[It'sMyLife]

OP we've all made bad decisions. I've made some terrible ones for sure and hate that I remember them. You're still so young At your age you have time to start your life over. I'm not attempting to guilt you like someone did here that deleted replies but try not to just focus on just the negative. But I'm not trying to dissuade you either. I have zero idea of your situation and neither does anyone else. I am suggesting that at your age you could be making a rash decision so consider that if possible. Try to take stock of your entire life and not just the bad stuff. If you ever wanted to try something different - something you wanted to try but never thought you could- now's the time so go for it. I took up hang gliding in my early 40's because I thought I was finished in life but I'm still here at 61. It is your life obviously and none of us asked to be here for sure. I respect everyone's choice to end it autonomously. This reality generally doesn't make a lot of sense which is why I'm here myself

That being said have you read the first part of the exit bag " megathread "? You don't need to read all 1000 pages of it (unless you want to !). The first few pages cover it all. The OP answers questions up to around the 25th page himself. Nitrogen is available at the gas supply places once you start an account which puts a lot of folks off but it's not a big deal Beer brewing is a common reason for wanting it so a little research there comes in handy. As others have said you need to do your homework because you don't want to end up stranded in a bed needing care.
I guess I've blathered enough. I hope you're having a better day today Notben.

Of course it could easily be solved - the problem is various religions have convinced the government that 'only god can take human life'.

Nothing against organized religion, but these people will fight tooth and nail to prevent even people with cancer or the most horrible of diseases from ending their life.

I remember a long time ago when Dr. Krevorkian ("Dr. Death") was all over the news for helping people with Lou Gherig's disease (ALS) die using carbon monoxide. Every time you turned around the guy was being sued for this and that - even when he would video tape people in excruciating pain, just barely able to mouth the words "I want to die" and people still gave the guy shit for it. I think he actually went to jail for a period of time.

It's sickening. If you are of sound mind and no longer want to continue with existence, it should be nobody else's decision as to what I do with my life.

The movie " you don't know Jack" with Al Pacino was good. There's also the documentary Kevorkian with old Jack himself both worth watching He definitely caught hell and was treated unfairly. I think he was a good person myself.

 

[heyismeman]

Hydrogen sulfide is actually in theory incredibly reliable, it's famously reliable actually in Japan out if 212 attempts 208 succeeded in the span of 2 months. Fast is also its major pro, at high enough levels 2000ppm or more 1 or 2 breaths. You're delayed almost to exactly how long it takes to reach the brain which is 5-10 seconds. Painless is a toss up, maybe some discomfort breating in but its generally considered very painless if the level are high enough.

 

[homeboundcripple]

Hydrogen sulfide is actually in theory incredibly reliable, it's famously reliable actually in Japan out if 212 attempts 208 succeeded in the span of 2 months. Fast is also its major pro, at high enough levels 2000ppm or more 1 or 2 breaths. You're delayed almost to exactly how long it takes to reach the brain which is 5-10 seconds. Painless is a toss up, maybe some discomfort breating in but its generally considered very painless if the level are high enough.

Wouldn't the hydrogen sulfide need to go through some kind of wash process?

 

[heyismeman]

Wouldn't the hydrogen sulfide need to go through some kind of wash process?

No