Venting Help im so incompetent

[Johnzaga23]

Please someone kill me. I cannot even kill myself. I cannot even do a simple thing. I cannot find a fucking tree in a whole forest. Somehow, whatever i do, something goes wrong. Its been months and i still havent killed myself. I cant do anything.

 

[SiameseShadow]

I know the feeling. I have been thinking about dying and I just can't find the courage to do it. And reading posts here makes me even more scared because basically all they say is that most methods are most likely not successful.
There's no way I can get a gun. I wish I could hire a killer or something.

 

[Johnzaga23]

I know the feeling. I have been thinking about dying and I just can't find the courage to do it. And reading posts here makes me even more scared because basically all they say is that most methods are most likely not successful.
There's no way I can get a gun. I wish I could hire a killer or something.

its not even a lack of courage. I dont care about the pain anymore. I just cannot make a plan for some reason. Im just stupid. I wish someone come and stab me to death. I thought about letting dogs devour me but survival instict will kick in and ill propably survive.

 

[Michelstaedter]

I know, it's very hard. After all, we're not so different from animals. As Akutagawa said in his "Letter to a Certain Friend," we are human animals, and therefore we have that monstrous desire to survive. Our system struggles to do so: vomiting, white blood cells, electrical pain signals, everything that tells us that "something is wrong" is the powerful wall that seeks to protect life when it will inevitably succumb one day.
Our mind may wish to die. I wish to die, I wish to no longer be in this world, I wish to cease being human... I wish to be nothingness itself, and nothing more. But the animal force that has been part of human beings for years of evolution and has become complex since we acquired consciousness makes this more difficult, so it's not that you're useless; in fact, it's the opposite, in terms of the life force that prevents you from simply doing it.

 

[Whale_bones]

But the animal force that has been part of human beings for years of evolution and has become complex since we acquired consciousness makes this more difficult, so it's not that you're useless; in fact, it's the opposite, in terms of the life force that prevents you from simply doing it.

That's a great point. Our minds and bodies are actually succeeding at keeping us alive, the thing they're strongly programmed to do. It's just at great conflict with what we actually want and what's important to us.