Venting he'll go to the beach with her

[brainlessretard]

my bf doesn't want to be with me because he'll be seeing his other girl today. they're going to the beach. i love going to the beach. it's been a while, and i've been trying to show him the new beach clothes i bought. i wonder what she'll wear.

i'm planning on partial hanging. it may take a while until i get my hands on SN. i may try it tonight while drunk. i think i have a good setup.

 

[E4syW3y0u7]

His other girl ???

 

[brainlessretard]

His other girl ???

yes, he's going out with another girl. i opened the relationship only so he wouldn't break up with me to stay with her (he was cheating), but it still pains me to see him happy with her. she's so pretty.

 

[E4syW3y0u7]

Ugh...that sounds rlly painful, i'm really sorry for you. Don't have any great advice or magic solutions but no one should go through that. Could you go to the beach with a friend maybe ?

 

[brainlessretard]

Ugh...that sounds rlly painful, i'm really sorry for you. Don't have any great advice or magic solutions but no one should go through that. Could you go to the beach with a friend maybe ?

my friends are always working and i'm not much fun to be around, i have to ask weeks in advance and even then our plans most never work out. i don't want to bother either, i'm feeling so bad i would cry in front of them.

 

[E4syW3y0u7]

Ugh...what about the option of going solo ? Don't get me wrong, i understand it's not what you rlly want or it's ideal but maybe you'd still find some fun in it.

If it's the right timing, you might enjoy it decently

 

[brainlessretard]

Ugh...what about the option of going solo ? Don't get me wrong, i understand it's not what you rlly want but maybe you'd still find some fun in it.

If it's the right timing, you might enjoy it decently

i'm terrified of leaving my house alone. i feel comfortable going with him because he has never judged the immense amount of scars i have, but going alone feels threatening.

 

[E4syW3y0u7]

i'm terrified of leaving my house alone. i feel comfortable going with him because he has never judged the immense amount of scars i have, but going alone feels threatening.

Awww...that's rough, i'm sure you gonna be able to overcome this one way or another. It's sad it's preventing you from doing something you like.

Idk what kind of outfits you planning to go with but maybe there's options to hide a lil bit more skin that you want to show ? And then progressively getting to where tou really wanna be.

Just random ideas though, your feelings are valid and i'm not pretending to know the perfect answers or have good soutions.

 

[brainlessretard]

Awww...that's rough, i'm sure you gonna be able to overcome this one way or another. It's sad it's preventing you from doing something you like.

Idk what kind of outfits you planning to go with but maybe there's options to hide a lil bit more skin that you want to show ? And then progressively getting to where tou really wanna be.

Just random ideas though, your feelings are valid and i'm not pretending to know the perfect answers or have good soutions.

no worries, thanks for talking to me.

my english is lacking when it comes to descriptions, so sorry in advance. it's just a typical bikini, sarong and lots of accessories. it's all in pink and gold, i love the colors.

because i don't leave alone and nobody is free to go out with me, i guess i'll forever be afraid of showing my scars in public.

 

[E4syW3y0u7]

Bring a pink and gold plushie with you, can pretend you are not alone till someone is free ^^

Sounds stylish and tasteful !

 

[SASU-KE]

The relationship seems a bit painful. Will you not be able to break up with him and find someone else who can appreciate you more?

Also if you don't like your scars is it possible to cover them up with surgery?

 

[brainlessretard]

The relationship seems a bit painful. Will you not be able to break up with him and find someone else who can appreciate you more?

Also if you don't like your scars is it possible to cover them up with surgery?

nobody would love me. i have enough proof that i am unlovable.

i have too many scars in several places of my body, many are raised. cosmetic treatments are too expensive and i'm unemployed. to let you know the extent of it, i have scars on both arms, one is completely covered in scars, on my hips, thighs and breasts. i do have a scar on my face too, but it luckily is only visible if you pay close attention.

 

[SASU-KE]

nobody would love me. i have enough proof that i am unlovable.

i have too many scars in several places of my body, many are raised. cosmetic treatments are too expensive and i'm unemployed. to let you know the extent of it, i have scars on both arms, one is completely covered in scars, on my hips, thighs and breasts. i do have a scar on my face too, but it luckily is only visible if you pay close attention.

I don't think there's anyone that's fundamentally unlovable.Sometimes we seek love from the wrong people. They will never reciprocate it the way we want.

I hope you can give it a good shot before you decide on anything. I wish you peace either way my friend.

 

[hdead]

You're most likely not unlovable. You have convinced yourself you are. I can understand the difficulty of the situation you're in but I think it's really unhealthy to latch onto your BF who is clearly not committed to you in the way that you would like him to be. The heartbreak, I can relate to. I have been through many relationships and experienced heartbreak so many times that I now decided to become celibate.

I have gone through the phase of telling myself I am unlovable. I conclude now that I am actually not unlovable. I just don't understand how a loving relationship works due to childhood trauma(PTSD), ADHD, intelligence and a light form of autism. A 'normal' human life is just incredibly difficult for me.

I am a feeling being as well. The combination of feeling deeply (having issues with all the hurt in the world) and being rather intelligent makes for a terrible experience. I can't find purpose in academic pursuits (it lacks emotion for me) and I can't relate to many people due to my attention failing (I get bored with basic conversation, I need something deep to feel fulfilled). I have searched and searched, but I can't find the fulfillment that my system is looking for. Loneliness does kind of normalize once you get to know yourself. I like to do creative things like drawing, painting and playing guitar; but it's all done alone. It gets boring after a few years.

Either way, I feel like I can tell you are hurting deeply. I am so sorry for you and I hope you can find some peace in your mind and heart. From one lost soul to another. <3