Venting held captive by numbness

[sweetdecadance77]

a lot of people think depression is just all sadness and crying and in a way, i envy people who have that type. because at least they feel something. i think a lot about how i wish there were more meaning, i wish life were more fulfilling, i wish there were more to whatever this is. there probably is "more" in an external fashion, but none of it would fill the the emotional blankness. itd be like tossing paper in a garbage can. i dont have mood swings particularly, my mood is a constant low, but after the moments where i felt something, its like the numbness swings a home run. its astonishingly strong, and that becomes unbearable because i have an immediate memory of what SOMETHING felt like.

 

[PanaxMan]

a lot of people think depression is just all sadness and crying and in a way, i envy people who have that type. because at least they feel something. i think a lot about how i wish there were more meaning, i wish life were more fulfilling, i wish there were more to whatever this is. there probably is "more" in an external fashion, but none of it would fill the the emotional blankness. itd be like tossing paper in a garbage can. i dont have mood swings particularly, my mood is a constant low, but after the moments where i felt something, its like the numbness swings a home run. its astonishingly strong, and that becomes unbearable because i have an immediate memory of what SOMETHING felt like.

Facts I'm experiencing it rn as im going thru the hardest struggle. It's weird since it seems to be amplified but that's being homeless for ya