SadGirl
Arcanist
- Mar 24, 2019
- 451
Have you had a happy time? A time, an age you had or something? Count here.
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I cant understand that feeling anymore
, its been so long.
dandan
One more attempt on life.
- Feb 18, 2019
- 1,296
yup, once my mind worked alright... after a session with a hypnoterapist and getstalt therapy... I cried for so long during the excercise.... I felt so relieved for almost a week, my mind was in tip top shape, therefore I was able to have meaningful converstions and thoughts... it was amazing, I was happy...
only lasted for 1 week... about 8,9 years ago...
TheGoodGuy
Illuminated
- Aug 27, 2018
- 3,069
Yeah my childhood was paradise on Earth but it ended when I entered puberty at 12 years old.
SadGirl
Arcanist
- Mar 24, 2019
- 451
I'm sorry :cI cant understand that feeling anymore, its been so long.
accidentaldeath
Student
- May 29, 2018
- 107
Yeah, and I can remember the feeling which makes it even more sad. What I find curious is that as I read this post I tried to remember the moment when I stopped beign happy and I can't remember how I felt in the period between the last time I remember beign happy and the depression. I guess it was a progressive thing, nostalgia about happiness makes me feel so fucking sad.
SadGirl
Arcanist
- Mar 24, 2019
- 451
my life was easier 10 to 14 years, then everything collapsed on top of me, and every day it gets heavier
accidentaldeath
Student
- May 29, 2018
- 107
I'm interested in this... Couldn't you take more sessions? Was it too expensive?
SadGirl
Arcanist
- Mar 24, 2019
- 451
Why do not you try to do it again?
I, too, always find myself thinking about when I was happy, and that those moments will never come back, and this is as if my heart were breaking completely.Last edited:
myrtaryniel
Member
- Mar 28, 2019
- 73
I stopped being happy completely I guess at age 11-12, and since then things have only gotten worse
SadGirl
Arcanist
- Mar 24, 2019
- 451
I understand, and I'm sorry for this
Eeyore
Member
- Aug 4, 2018
- 94
Yes, I get that feeling of being normal for a minute or 2 sometimes and it feels like life is really nice. Its like using some boost item in game and then its effect wear off. I remember as a kid I was happy but I had some issues but nothing I couldn't really deal with. Back then I would never say that death is better than life and now here I am writing this post on this site. Its bizarre!
agreement
Mage
- Mar 26, 2018
- 544
At this point I don't know anymore.
I'm bipolar and now I've the doubt that any positive or happy thought past or present could have been and hypomania symptom.
dandan
One more attempt on life.
- Feb 18, 2019
- 1,296
Sure , I did!
I tried and tried. It was nice to be able to "think" for a week.... my thoughts , my ideas, my inner-conversations were clear, and I could talk with any person.
questions came to my mind, assertions, thinking came naturally... effects didnt lasted a week...
no drugs involved...
only acceptance, forgiveness, and kindness to myself... through a gestalt therapy session.. but couldnt trigger the effect again...
Jodes
Enlightened
- Nov 23, 2018
- 1,261
I have, yes. But it's no excuse not to be sad! I reserve the right to be as miserable as I fucking want!
dandan
One more attempt on life.
- Feb 18, 2019
- 1,296
Count here? Where you from, count you from? You Latin? Like "cuenta aquÃ" ?
Count is like 1, 2, 3.... Never used it to "tell" ,,just an observation
I don't have perfect grammar .... I'm doubting "count" is used this way. .
Nevermind lol
InkBlot
What Do You See?
- Sep 17, 2018
- 162
I was happy until January of 2017. Then the cumulative mistakes I made in my relationship built up and I lost my entire life, atleast the life that made me, well...me. Ive dated since then and its never been the same. I will always regret my losses. Some part of my crazy mind believes she is gonna show back up and we'll work it out.
Kyrok
Paragon
- Nov 6, 2018
- 970
I didn't have a happy childhood. Undergrad was pretty good, a couple good years in grad school, then a couple good years at my present job. Maybe 10% of my lifespan thus far.
dandan
One more attempt on life.
- Feb 18, 2019
- 1,296
Kyrok
Paragon
- Nov 6, 2018
- 970
I work in a public policy research center, grant-driven research and consulting work with government.
dandan
One more attempt on life.
- Feb 18, 2019
- 1,296
That sounds little amazing, don't know yeah xactlt what it is, but yeah, good job.
Kyrok
Paragon
- Nov 6, 2018
- 970
I've basically been doing this for 21yrs now. It fits me well, though health issues are making it hard to work lately.Yes. I've been as much happy as I'm sad and depressed now. I need a purpose.I was one of the happiest people in high school! I had friends and dreams and a partner that mattered. I like to think I was happy for a while after too, but symptoms got worse and worse and dragged my life with them.
valentine
Member
- Apr 2, 2019
- 99
Most of the time I'm only happy when I'm high or drunk. I've been depressed for so long. I have some good times though, sometimes my friends and I go camping or take a trip to the beach. Stuff like that makes me want to stay alive.
Begemont
Member
- Mar 18, 2019
- 52
I think intellectually I know I must have been happy at some point before I was 10. 10 Being when I kind of first tried. But I don't remember that time mostly at all. I had a few decent years when I was 15-18. But happy? I'm not sure.
Anyways, I don't remember being ever happy so it's all the same. I probably have been at some point but I can't remember it. I honestly think not ever being happy/not remembering what it's like is what has kept me alive this long. It's made me complacent because there is nothing better to make the current anguish even worse by comparison.
CoolGuy9
Mage
- Mar 5, 2019
- 524
The first 12 years of my live were golden! Had friends and had a huge world to explore! Nothing worried me and found live quite enjoyable. I really miss being a child.
Eily
tired
- Dec 4, 2018
- 21
Honestly? No. I don't remember a time I've been truly happy. Not even as a kid. I always seemed like a burden to my family. I had friends in school but that was it. I wasn't allowed to invite them over or go to anyone's house, so friendships never strengthened. Even in school I felt like I didn't belong and the weird thing is I wasn't even bullied or anything. Learning was very difficult for me. Still is. My life changed at 17 and I've been living with crippling chronic pain and sickness ever since. I don't remember the last time I didn't feel pain. As for relationships, I've had only two of them. They were both eventually sick of me. I don't seem to be wanted by this world (not to sound dramatic.) I genuinely think I don't belong here.Happiness? I don't know. May be before my parents divorced when I was 9 and my mother left us. I'm not sure. When I was 11 years old, I made the first test of behavior I can remember that saw 'strange things' in my results. I don't know what I feel now. I'm like a zombie : dead inside.Last edited:I used to be happy when I was okay. It was two years ago. Now I'm so depressed that ctb is the only thing on my mind
