i think for the majority of my life i was just not aware of how unhappy i was with who i am and what my life is. for example, when i was 8 i stopped eating in order to lose weight, i was too young to realise that i actually despised how my body looked and that this was extremely unhealthy. i just thought that i needed to lose weight and this was the easiest and fastest way to do so. or when i was 15 and i wore makeup and dressed up in skimpy clothes for a picture and didn't realise how not content i was with the fact that i wasn't getting enough likes online and how fake i was being to achieve that, completely untrue to myself.
for the past year or so i've been really reflective of what my life has been up until now and i realise how unhappy i am, how many things i hate about myself and the world. but now that i'm aware of it i'm going to try and make an active change to myself and for myself so i can change my self-image.