Venting Have Everything & Still Feel Dead Inside....

[IThirst4Freedom]

I have everything i have aimed to get.. I have my own business, Have money in the Bank, and according to society's standards i should be "Happy" but i am not. I have been battling depression for a number of years and have tried to take my life several times via OD on various pills which i was brought back twice. Some people just do not understand depression is a fucking wicked illness that is in the back of your head like a ghost that haunts you everyday. I just do not know what to do anymore. I am in therapy which does help sometimes but she just gives good warm surface level advice that never works long term. I am a 25 year old male who has never had a GF and honestly i just can't take being alone anymore. I am so tired of fighting it I really am.
I plan on making another attempt sometime this year, maybe sooner then later... I am just fucking tired. Everyday feels the same, i feel like a robot going through the same processes everyday and its so tiring. I just want to be done with it all..

Anyway, i suppose this is just a rant to get my thoughts out but FUCK an i done with this world.

 

[unluckysadness]

Depression kills. It's not our fault. I know what you feel because I've never known love either (not even sex) and I'm much older than you (43). I think I've finally accepted my tragic fate.

I hope you'll find some relief on this forum. Take care

 

[SoLowHollow48]

That's like, society's idea of what makes a person happy. In reality, what makes a person feel content is different. I can have all the money in the world but if my family is broken apart, I'd rather give it all away to help them mend their bond with each other. I can have all the fancy cars--Aston Martin, Rolls Royce, Audi, whatever-whatever, but if my friends all stabbed me in the back, I'd rather crash my entire collection and die in them.

I learned this the hard way. I thought that being pretty and smart are all there is to being a happy girl. No. I was wrong. That was how I lost my best friend and lover--thinking that, with all the potential she has, she should be, she MUST BE happy. But that's not what she needed.

I lost her to depression too. I did mention here that treating a depressed suicidal person is like holding a hot piece of coal. You either burn your hand holding them or you drop them and lose them to the ground.

Then, when you do try to help, they find you pressuring them instead of supporting them. It was hell. But you know what I wished I had done? Gathered all the support from those whom she was actually fond of.

Her close friend, her family, even her boyfriend (we broke up before she died) and just told them that she has a problem and she needs all of you to lean on because I couldn't give her that.

I hope that even with no girlfriend, you have family and if you don't have family, you have friends. If no friends, there is pet. If there's none, there are kind strangers out there you can share a cig with and just vent about whatever until you feel better that day. Just for that one day, you don't think about the two code blues you've had, the absolute end of a suicide, and the guilt of "having everything" and still not feeling enough.

Godspeed. I wish you all the best. I'm 25 too this year, jobless, at very verge of just keeling over but I'm taking online classes for Pivot now so I can reapply as a purchasing staff.

 

[IThirst4Freedom]

That's like, society's idea of what makes a person happy. In reality, what makes a person feel content is different. I can have all the money in the world but if my family is broken apart, I'd rather give it all away to help them mend their bond with each other. I can have all the fancy cars--Aston Martin, Rolls Royce, Audi, whatever-whatever, but if my friends all stabbed me in the back, I'd rather crash my entire collection and die in them.

I learned this the hard way. I thought that being pretty and smart are all there is to being a happy girl. No. I was wrong. That was how I lost my best friend and lover--thinking that, with all the potential she has, she should be, she MUST BE happy. But that's not what she needed.

I lost her to depression too. I did mention here that treating a depressed suicidal person is like holding a hot piece of coal. You either burn your hand holding them or you drop them and lose them to the ground.

Then, when you do try to help, they find you pressuring them instead of supporting them. It was hell. But you know what I wished I had done? Gathered all the support from those whom she was actually fond of.

Her close friend, her family, even her boyfriend (we broke up before she died) and just told them that she has a problem and she needs all of you to lean on because I couldn't give her that.

I hope that even with no girlfriend, you have family and if you don't have family, you have friends. If no friends, there is pet. If there's none, there are kind strangers out there you can share a cig with and just vent about whatever until you feel better that day. Just for that one day, you don't think about the two code blues you've had, the absolute end of a suicide, and the guilt of "having everything" and still not feeling enough.

Godspeed. I wish you all the best. I'm 25 too this year, jobless, at very verge of just keeling over but I'm taking online classes for Pivot now so I can reapply as a purchasing staff.

What sucks is i am not a bad looking guy, i have had woman try to hit on me but i am very protective of my energy and nobody has shown up the way i wanted.
Its also hard when you have a little bit of success because you do not know if others want to truly know you for you or they have other intentions. So yea, money does not buy happiness... I am not worth millions but i live a comfortable life and still want to kill myself. There is this lingering feeling of depression that never leaves. It does not matter how many people are around me i still feel alone. Thanks for making a comment on my post. I wish you peace.

 

[Thrillhouse]

What sucks is i am not a bad looking guy, i have had woman try to hit on me but i am very protective of my energy and nobody has shown up the way i wanted.
Its also hard when you have a little bit of success because you do not know if others want to truly know you for you or they have other intentions. So yea, money does not buy happiness... I am not worth millions but i live a comfortable life and still want to kill myself. There is this lingering feeling of depression that never leaves. It does not matter how many people are around me i still feel alone. Thanks for making a comment on my post. I wish you peace.

What is it that you're looking for a woman to do? Women will show interest if they're really into someone but generally the guy has to do most of the work in the beginning