Have any of you known someone who committed suicide and how did it make you feel?

[CoolGuy9]

Wondering, because if I go down this path, I would like to get a general idea of how people will react to this.

 

[SMarie1204]

A major part of my path to a final method was cutting out every single person from my life so that no one would speculate and give reasons and "I saw this coming" bs. Nmw, it's an event that's going to have a ripple effect.

A girl I knew awhile ago found someone from this site and died with him in his car. It made me feel connected to her in a sad way. I walked away after hearing everyone's comments bc they were so...off. "She did it for attention and took it too far" "She didn't think about her family at all" "She was so happy!"

I took special notice of the people who said nothing and make sure to always check on them. The ones who gossiped are blocked on my phone lol.

 

[CoolGuy9]

A major part of my path to a final method was cutting out every single person from my life so that no one would speculate and give reasons and "I saw this coming" bs. Nmw, it's an event that's going to have a ripple effect.

A girl I knew awhile ago found someone from this site and died with him in his car. It made me feel connected to her in a sad way. I walked away after hearing everyone's comments bc they were so...off. "She did it for attention and took it too far" "She didn't think about her family at all" "She was so happy!"

I took special notice of the people who said nothing and make sure to always check on them. The ones who gossiped are blocked on my phone lol.

Those comments about her are absolutely disgusting. Well atleast if I commit suicide and some other suicidal person hears about it, he may feel connected to me so that's nice.

 

[GeorgeJL]

I don't know anyone. Many people don't commit suicide.

 

[meowcat]

I felt like I should have been nicer and empathetic towards him.Instead I did't care much because I used to have a great life back then
It did'nt make me feel too guilty or anything,just felt a little bad.
People move on.

 

[Addy92]

My best mate was found dead at the roadside in a van. He just "passed". Has left me wondering since. I reckon he had one too many lines. I think he was purposely destructive and his family didn't wanna release the autopsy.

 

[Invisible 73]

Yes. Just lost an online friend who id been close to and counted on for lots of mutual support for the last 5/6 years the end of April.

Her death started my downward spiral

 

[Sailfisher]

My father tried, but they wouldn't let him buy the gun.

 

[Morphinekiss]

My brother. I felt anger and abandonment for a long time. Now I feel empathy for him.

It happened when I was a child though, I'm not sure how I would feel now.

 

[Throwaway8675309]

Yep. My only physical friend in school that I didn't buy my friendship with. She meant so much to me and obviously still does. That being said if she truly wasn't happy and tried to recover then I hope she is at peace. I felt bad because I missed her funeral like a fucking idiot amongst other things. But yeah part of me has gone and I don't think I'll ever get it back. If she is at peace with no suffering then I'm happier to see her gone then to live a life of agony and hell. But I don't know if she tried everything. So it's really tough to say.

 

[mathieu]

The world feels kinda empty without her. I'm always thinking of calling her up on the phone and then think,' oh' I'll never stop missing her that's for sure.

 

[DreamCatcher]

I knew one good friend that did. She wanted a safe place to go to, and when I moved to a safer place I tried to get into contact with her to let her know there was a place for her, but I had found that she had gone a few months before, after her cat died she just gave up, she didn't really have anything else to live for and life was torment for her. It has been almost three years now.

I always thought if I had done things differently, or moved faster maybe she would have still been here, but I know she isn't in pain anymore, and that's good enough for me.

I know there will be people that will have wished they could have done more for me, but I hope they'll see it the same way knowing I'm not in pain anymore.

 

[inconsequential]

I've watched at least one friend be buried every year since 2011. In the years with more than one death, it's a solid split between accidental OD & suicide.

So it goes.

 

[blanketyblk]

My partner committed suicide in our house. I found her and it's a sight, smell and feeling that never ever leaves you. it broke that last remaining good bits of me.
but I do not blame her. i have anger to her, yes. but never any blame.

I couldn't sleep in the bedroom after that. spent the next 4 weeks sleeping in the lounge room.

 

[N-IsMyHope]

My uncle and his son hung themself. Son did first then a few months later my uncle did the same thing. I am happy for them because I know that they are struggle for a long long time. And, I think they are so brave for doing that. Now I feel a bit relief that I will not be the first one who ctb in the history of all the relative.

 

[TimeToDie]

Please note the biased language above: COMMITTED suicide. Suicide is one of the rare things that gets committed. The only other things one can commit are crime & sin. Even the pro-lifers today have switched to saying died by suicide or victim of suicide.

I've never known anyone who killed themselves. Though that's only because I've known so few people. For the first 30 years of my life I never experienced suicidal ideation so I couldn't have understood if somebody had CTB. Now I be sad if someone I knew CTB though I'd understand that they have to go and I'd be glad that their suffering was over.

 

[blanketyblk]

Please note the biased language above: COMMITTED suicide. Suicide is one of the rare things that gets committed. The only other things one can commit are crime & sin. Even the pro-lifers today have switched to saying died by suicide or victim of suicide.

Good point!. sorry.

 

[Bulletwbttrflywings]

My best friend from college and my cousin. Both by gunshots to the head. I was angry at first, mostly because they both cut everyone off, but now I understand why... I'm still very sad they're both gone...

 

[blanketyblk]

My best friend from college and my cousin. Both by gunshots to the head. I was angry at first, mostly because they both cut everyone off, but now I understand why... I'm still very sad they're both gone...

Aye, the sadness never goes. and the feeling of 'what/if' is always on your mind.

 

[Scribble Fan]

My grandfather refused treatment for AIDS out of shame after cheating and died of that before I was born.

My aunt and abusive "Mother" both attempted to overdose but were prevented from dying, I have a feeling it was due to the intense abuse my grandfather subjected them to.

I remember my grandfathers suicide had a heavy negative effect on my "Mother" (she did turn out just like him, after all). I think it helped bring out her psychotic side. Never spoken to my aunt about this so I don't know her point of view, I just heard all this slip out as a kid when my parents were arguing.

 

[Mljonzy]

I known 2 that went to my school but didn't know them personally i wasn't upset when i heard the news i was happy for them that they just did it and now reaped the rewards of nothingness. This happened about 10 years ago wish i died 10 years ago.

 

[Nem]

A friend jumped off of a high rise building, I was shocked to say the least but I feel envious now though. He must've been suffering badly

 

[lululoo]

A girl I was casual friends with for about a year in grad school. She was very unstable and I didn't have it in me to be her support system, as I was super depressed too. We lost touch. Years later I found out she killed her self. I sobbed for a while and was sad for several days. It still makes me sad. But we were never very close so it didn't have a big impact on me.

I realized afterward that very few people will be affected more than just momentarily when I die.

 

[Roger]

Yes. I did a post about three weeks back called "These I Have Known " listing people who were just that.

My response was always shock, of course, all came as a terrible surprise, but personally I was never judgemental. I accepted that they must have been under a strain that I could not understand.

 

[zmth]

My sister and my uncle. I was not there when and where either of them actually did it though. He did by gunshot and she by breathing CO fumes from automobile - back in the days before too much emission controls nor catalytic converters.

 

[Shamana]

One of my childhood/teenage friends comitted suicide when he was about 19. We'd lost touch long before that happened. I felt sad about it, since suicide is always sad, but since we hadn't seen each other for many years it didn't really effect me. I didn't have the best feelings towards him since he had sadistic tendencies, but I don't wish death and suicide on anyone.

 

[gentleflower]

Yes. Just lost an online friend who id been close to and counted on for lots of mutual support for the last 5/6 years the end of April.

Her death started my downward spiral

Something like that happened to me in the past days, although I have no means of checking if she actuall succeded to ctb now or not. I really feel for your loss and how much of an impact it has on you

 

[barny]

Ive heard of friends friends who committed suicide in hospital and they were angry with the hosp and devastated. My exboyfriend died, not of suicide he was hit by a car. I felt so guilty I hadnt been there, that i could of done something, that i hadn't told him how much i loved him. I miss him everyday, partly why i want to CTB to be with him

 

[Ready2goGermany]

My mother tried to kill herself with an overdose of sleeping pills a few years ago. It was one of the worst things I've experienced in my whole life. Luckily my father and I found her just in time but it was very close. The sad thing is that now I'm pretty much at the same point

 

[Letmego. Please]

I have know a few, most were fellow punters who (to me) were let down by a system meant to help them & that they wanted help from, only to find that with the pressure on beds they were either discharged too early or sent on leave that allowed them the space to do what they wanted.
For those friends I will always feel sadness, and anger at a system that let them down.

The other two, one was a friend that for reasons that I won't go into has left me with guilt, the other I knew well enough to know that like me things were never going to get better in any meaningful way. Still sad but I understood.