Hatred and Pain

[FrostedHoax]

I hate this world, I loathe it, I despise it. It's brought me so much emotional suffering upon endless emotional suffering and has done little to show me that it thinks of me as anything me more than its little plaything to poke and prod at for its own sick pleasure. Every time I wonder if things will finally start looking up for me, all that false hope is swept away in an instant and I'm reminded of my place in this world as nothing more than a pile of wasted potential and disappointment. Honestly, the absurdity of it all makes me laugh at times and I wonder if I've finally truly lost it and completely mentally left reality. WHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHY am I STILL HERE?

What the hell is stopping me from finally grabbing the gun and ending it all with a loud bang? I just want the pain to stop, I want someone to love me, I want to be able to look at myself and have feelings other than raw, visceral self-loathing. I want a life that feels meaningful that I can look at and think "what a good life, what a beautiful life". Unfortunately, that's all out of reach for me now, at least in this life. If there's a life after this one and someone, anyone waiting on the other side, then I can't wait to let them know just what I think about this world and life in it.

 

[FuneralCry]

It truly is so horrible how people have to suffer so much in this hellish reality, existence is just too cruel. I really understand why you'd hate this place so much.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

I have always felt there is something very wrong with this world from an early age.
It's a very depressing and frightening place and I have as little to do with it as possible.