Venting Hate myself, and this world.

[flightlessbutterfly]

The urge to split my skin open is getting worse and worse, I've already set the blade near my bed, but I'm pushing that urge as far back as I can.

God. I hate how I have been brought to this level, I hate my face, I hate my body, I hate how I've completely lost my identity and personality. I hate how I've forgotten who I am, I hate how even after everything I still crave their love and attention. I hate how I have to hide this from them, or I'll burden them. I hate how I've lost myself. I hate how cruel this world is for making me go through everything it has. I hate how I've stopped caring for myself and other people. I hate how I'm a walking contradiction. I HATE how after all that, I can't help but want to hug a stranger online after their fall and giving them the hope they need to get up for a small while knowing that I have fallen a long time ago and stopped getting up.

I hate this, I hate me, I hate and I don't think I will ever stop hating.

 

[FuneralCry]

Existing here certainly is so torturous and I also hate existence and the suffering that it's caused, I understand that it's awful feeling trapped in a situation you hate.

 

[Huntfish34]

I relate All too well, feels almost like my entire being.... down to my heart, soul, almost every fiber of my body has been filled with hatred. Hatred towards myself ( #1 ) to the world / society ( not all of it ) and to 2 particular pieces of shit that I wouldn't so much as Piss on if they were Burning Alive.

It's downright maddening, toxic, almost soul crushing... I fckn hate it. I'm too much of a pussy to go by blade , but blowing my brains out seems to be feasible.

I understand and agree - Thoughts and prayers to you always. - ♥

 

[90starve]

i often ask myself who i am - it often feels like i am watching my life play out on tv. it's a very strange feeling to lose yourself - im sorry that you feel this way too <3