Discussion Has this site become too pro-life?

[diazepam23]

When I started coming to this site in 2018, it seemed solely focused on people wanting to die but it seems that every second post is along the themes of "I want to die but don't want to hurt my family". Maybe it's because I'm diagnosed with ASPD and Asperger's but I can't wrap my head around this. Why are people on this site if they are concerned about the consequences of suicide to others?

My parents told me that I was an adult and could make that decision. They seem detached from the whole thing. Even if they weren't, I certainly wouldn't feel obligated to be alive no matter how hurt they got. After all you always hear "the world owes you nothing" and so you can turn that argument on its head and say you owe the world nothing. Our modern society is very anti-suicide but the Romans and Greeks were far more permissive.

I also, I know two friends who died by suicide that was homeless and abandoned by family with no friends, so I fail to see how their suicides were selfish. One was in the Netherlands assisted legally and the other was on the street.

 

[leloyon]

No, it isn't. Worrying about one's loved ones being sad about their death is a normal thing, and not pro-life. If anything, it's people like us who don't care who are outside of the norm.

 

[aufrechtm7]

I don't think its pro life to have empathy, they are just trying to reduce the amount of hurt their decision might cause, and that doesn't reflect selfishness but the opposite. Someone made a really good thread about how even strangers can be affected by it

Witnessing a suicide

I just wanted to post because I feel like I have a unique perspective on this topic. As I've mentioned a couple times, I work in healthcare, and an unfortunately common patient presentation I see is suicide attempts. I've been involved with the care of a couple patients who have come close or...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[GodzillasBiggestFan]

wanting to die but not wanting to hurt your family is still wanting to die. it doesnt mean person is pro-life. being suicidal happens many different ways for different people. and yes there is some people who arent sure, but people who arent sure if they want to die or have doubts and such still should be able to talk about how they feel in a safe place.

 

[Ligottian]

Seems a fair amount of folks fretting about the afterlife, reincarnation... I think it's natural to not want to hurt loved ones by your self-deletion.. I've posted more than once that I took a vow not to CTB before both my parent died. They now both have. Just waiting for that damn survival instinct to sufficiently weaken.

 

[Forever Sleep]

This site is and always has been- as I see it- set up to be pro choice- not pro suicide. Within that choice contains the decision not to suicide for various reasons- fear of attempting, fear of death, fear of the afterlife, guilt/ worry for what it might do to loved ones. Even some hesitance about leaving certain aspects of life/ destroying any other future possibility. The site is here for people to talk freely about those worries.

In my experience though- it has always been in a tug of war between the more promortalist side- who want it to be more pro- death and those who are more pro- life and fear it's too much of an echo chamber so- think we should be actively pulling people back from the brink.

I wouldn't like the space if we weren't allowed to be honest about how we feel personally. Whether that be that we feel trapped here because of this or that reason. Whether we genuinely aren't sure of which way to go or whether absolutely nothing is stopping us and we don't understand why it should.

Presumably- if you've known of the site since 2018 and have presumably had ideation since then- something also keeps you held here. Some people would (cruelly) say that if we wanted to do it enough- nothing at all would stop any of us. I don't think that's realistic though. People have lots of legitimate fears/ worries around suicide.

We also may not have such pro- choice or understanding parents. I feel stuck here while my Dad is still alive. Not that I'm anything special but, I don't think he'd recover from my suicide. I think it's pretty natural to not want to deeply hurt the ones we love.

But, if it is really irritating to you- you can always put people on 'ignore' if their ideologies are too annoying. In truth- at the other extreme- the pro- mortalist views are too much for me to understand. I suppose- the same as you can't get your head around why people should consider others, I can't understand how people can block that out. But then- bereavement is part of the reason I'm where I am so- it's a more real feeling that I don't want to inflict that pain on others.

 

[sanctionedusage]

Why are people on this site if they are concerned about the consequences of suicide to others?

"why are people talking about every aspect of suicide on the suicide site, even the ones that don't apply to me >:("

 

[kuroshimi]

I don't think worrying about possible consequences of what could happen if you gone can be considered as "pro-life". That's why this place exists, isn't that so?

 

[vascomorrow]

When I started coming to this site in 2018, it seemed solely focused on people wanting to die but it seems that every second post is along the themes of "I want to die but don't want to hurt my family". Maybe it's because I'm diagnosed with ASPD and Asperger's but I can't wrap my head around this. Why are people on this site if they are concerned about the consequences of suicide to others?

My parents told me that I was an adult and could make that decision. They seem detached from the whole thing. Even if they weren't, I certainly wouldn't feel obligated to be alive no matter how hurt they got. After all you always hear "the world owes you nothing" and so you can turn that argument on its head and say you owe the world nothing. Our modern society is very anti-suicide but the Romans and Greeks were far more permissive.

I also, I know two friends who died by suicide that was homeless and abandoned by family with no friends, so I fail to see how their suicides were selfish. One was in the Netherlands assisted legally and the other was on the street.

Not everyone here is suicidal, lots of people here are recovering too. And if there is an 18 year old person wanting to CTB, how can you support that? I think that people like us who understand some of these issues should be more supportive and tell the younger people that there is still hope.

Death shouldn't be the first option..

Also a lot of the suicide survivors will say it was a mistake, and how they should of reached out for help. Meanwhile he blew half his face off with a shotgun. Are you going to discredit his experience because he talks about value to life?

 

[Rainbow Dash]

No idea why people care.

Once you die... You die who cares who sees and who is affected.

Like wtf....

End goal is all the same. DEATH.

Even death himself doesnt care when he takes you.

Driving a car? Death be like *heart attack* and poof.

Im just saying ignore them.
They are most likely looking for validation or attention.

And i agree what toyr parents sais.

We are adults and we take resposibilty of our own actions and control.

So eh.

Like me. I have 2 years as i need to finisb stuff up before i go to sleep so i schedule and plan to that time frame.

Also REPORT UNDERAGE USERS.

 

[JesiBel]

Because they know love and have people who love them. It's not hard to understand, and no one should commit suicide to prove anything. There are users here who have been active for many years, and that doesn't make them "fake" or "attention-seeking" or "pro-life".

Taking one's own life must be one of the most difficult decisions a person can face (to be at the very bottom of the abyss where there is no way out). No one owes you explanations about their private life.

Believe me, no one who's truly happy would be on this forum. And love doesn't cure everything either; you'll never know the situations or experiences each user went through to end up here.

So it would be better if you weren't judging or labeling people. You don't know them, show some respect.

To the user who reads this: if you still have a little hope or things to do, it's best to take some time to reflect and wait. You don't have to "impress" anyone here; if this place is a source of comfort or support for you, that's fine. Nothing and no one should make you feel pressured to ctb.

 

[Worndown]

When I started coming to this site in 2018, it seemed solely focused on people wanting to die but it seems that every second post is along the themes of "I want to die but don't want to hurt my family". Maybe it's because I'm diagnosed with ASPD and Asperger's but I can't wrap my head around this. Why are people on this site if they are concerned about the consequences of suicide to others?

My parents told me that I was an adult and could make that decision. They seem detached from the whole thing. Even if they weren't, I certainly wouldn't feel obligated to be alive no matter how hurt they got. After all you always hear "the world owes you nothing" and so you can turn that argument on its head and say you owe the world nothing. Our modern society is very anti-suicide but the Romans and Greeks were far more permissive.

I also, I know two friends who died by suicide that was homeless and abandoned by family with no friends, so I fail to see how their suicides were selfish. One was in the Netherlands assisted legally and the other was on the street.

This site provides a place for OPEN discussion.
Sometimes people find ways to die.
Sometimes people find ways to live.
You cannot deny one without denying the other.
You do not need to read threads that do not support your specific needs or views. Appreciate the fact that there is something here you can use.

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

Maybe it's because I'm diagnosed with ASPD and Asperger's but I can't wrap my head around this.

Less so the autism, more likely the ASPD. First of all, it doesn't aound like your parents have much of an emotional attachment to you, nor you to them. Some people have deeper bonds that sort of spawn a sense of care and responsibility. It's hard to explain to someone with little frame of reference.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Idk, but there sure does seem like there's a lot of it, as of late. I think it's more anti-choice than it is pro-life propaganda that I see around the forum. Some of it is cleverly disguised, it's not even overt. I'm really not so much pro-death, myself, as I am pro-autonomy. I think everyone, with some narrowly carved exceptions, should be able to make their own mind up, as to what is right for them.

 

[WhatCouldHaveBeen32]

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[Chronical_Suicidal]

After all you always hear "the world owes you nothing" and so you can turn that argument on its head and say you owe the world nothing.

Here you got a point, as people don't come to this world with consent, so there's nothing someone essentialy owe to this world.

But caring about others is being pro-life? For sure, no. This forum is still the most free I've ever found that allows suicide discussions - if anyone knows one that is more free, please share with me :)

 

[Mr.Tristesse]

If are people on this site if they are concerned about the consequences of suicide to others?

if you have to ask that in the first place then I guess it will always remain beyond your comprehension.

Our modern society is very anti-suicide but the Romans and Greeks were far more permissive.

Ancient society is definitely not a model to aspire to haha

I also, I know two friends who died by suicide that was homeless and abandoned by family with no friends, so I fail to see how their suicides were selfish. One was in the Netherlands assisted legally and the other was on the street.

I mean, if people have shit, uncaring families, then of course if makes sense that they don't merit consideration...

 

[madwoman]

Interesting discussion. Maybe you come from a point of just being curious why others feel guilty for leaving loved ones behind. I do and don't want anyone to grieve me, but I also know I can't stay for others - if I wanted to stay it would have to be for myself - I live my own life after all. I think it's all a grey area, we all have our own views and people can be suicidal and want to end their life theoretically but not in reality for whatever reason. Some people are suicidal and fighting to want to live. I am pro choice and think people have the right to do what they want to do - I kind of got to convince myself to not be too attached bc I'm trying to make peace with wanting to go and not letting others sway me so I've been a little detached emotionally for self preservation. But I still can't help not wanting to make life worse for others, I am most concerned with them having to settle my affairs and the disruption to their life. Also I don't want them to blame themselves, like this is the decision I am making and is not about anyone else.

 

[Pluto]

 

[doomedbynarrative]

Empathy and harm reduction are not being pro-life.