Discussion Has this forum helped you not commiting suicide?

[56842]

this is exactly what i needed right now, thank you

 

[LostLily]

Yes, this site strangely makes me feel less alone and less like a monster for having these feelings

 

[TiredMouse]

I also feel less alone here. Grateful for this space.

 

[ChoclateIsSweet]

After lurking for 5 years, a lot has changed and I wouldn't be here without SaSu.

 

[Spicy Tteokbokki]

It has helped me.

Yes, thanks to SaSu I know better ways of going, but it's not like people can't CTB without the information in this forum...

However, there's very little places where you can openly be suicidal and recieve so much understanding and anything other than "ask for help".

Even worse you'll often get banned/blocked/silence for saying the wrong things at this point.
I remember being able to find a lot of just vlogs on YouTube talking about suicide, eating disorders etc and their recovery or advice.
Now it's all gone it seems, and people also have to constantly censor words like "death" "suicide" etc. >_>;

As for me this site does calm me down and makes me happier when I feel down. Probably because posting here feels free and people understand how it is as well, and then there's the whole old-school forum vibes going on which is nice.

 

[Dr. Finklestein]

This is a genuine question i have. Has this forum helped you chose life instead of ctb? If Yes, how?

Yes, I was definitive last August. Had my mind made up. Hypoxia by Nitrogen; while traveling for work. Cannister, gauge cluster, hoses and exit bag ready. In my car, from car to hotel room to setup. Mask on and ready, all I had to do was turn the gas on from my handcuffed position. I failed. Suddenly I felt revulsion at the idea of ending it. Now about 7-8 months later; here I am again.

 

[grapevoid]

Even worse you'll often get banned/blocked/silence for saying the wrong things at this point.
I remember being able to find a lot of just vlogs on YouTube talking about suicide, eating disorders etc and their recovery or advice.
Now it's all gone it seems, and people also have to constantly censor words like "death" "suicide" etc. >_>;

As for me this site does calm me down and makes me happier when I feel down. Probably because posting here feels free and people understand how it is as well, and then there's the whole old-school forum vibes going on which is nice.

I tried to say kms in a discord server the other day and it auto timed me out hahahha

 

[curiouscvnt]

For myself, I'd rephrase the question somewhat.
I haven't chosen life.
However, finding this site has given me perspective and insight that the struggles that are driving me to an early exit are not unique to me.
Before coming here, I couldn't interact with others with candor for fear of repercussions of many types. Even hinting at mental distress was problematic.

Since I've been here, I've found comfort and support and empathy. I don't feel alone in my thoughts. I feel a member of a community of like- minded people. And that is a genuine boost.

No, I haven't chosen life. But I'm bearing it somewhat better most days because of being here. I'm able to kick that final decision down the road for another day.

I'm grateful for everyone in this site. Even the grumpy ones (you know who you are!)

Beautiful post. thank you, as well

 

[CatLvr]

Yes, I was definitive last August. Had my mind made up. Hypoxia by Nitrogen; while traveling for work. Cannister, gauge cluster, hoses and exit bag ready. In my car, from car to hotel room to setup. Mask on and ready, all I had to do was turn the gas on from my handcuffed position. I failed. Suddenly I felt revulsion at the idea of ending it. Now about 7-8 months later; here I am again.

That was about the time I joined up. I am glad you are still here.

 

[MidnightCat]

Even worse you'll often get banned/blocked/silence for saying the wrong things at this point.
I remember being able to find a lot of just vlogs on YouTube talking about suicide, eating disorders etc and their recovery or advice.
Now it's all gone it seems, and people also have to constantly censor words like "death" "suicide" etc. >_>;

As for me this site does calm me down and makes me happier when I feel down. Probably because posting here feels free and people understand how it is as well, and then there's the whole old-school forum vibes going on which is nice.

Glad to hear it!

There's a ton of beautiful people in this forum, it's a shame that what we have in common is pretty dark... And I really wish we all could have something else in mind. But, at least, it makes me happy to know there's other people around that can cope a little better with rough days thanks to all the community.

 

[Spicy Tteokbokki]

Glad to hear it!

There's a ton of beautiful people in this forum, it's a shame that what we have in common is pretty dark... And I really wish we all could have something else in mind. But, at least, it makes me happy to know there's other people around that can cope a little better with rough days thanks to all the community.

Legit. If I had stupid amounts of money I'd love to just meet a lot of people from here and go somewhere together, either as a way towards recovery or to send people off. A literal CTB Bus of sorts, but with the potential of trying the things you think might could help you before calling it quits entirely. ;u;

 

[spectraltease]

This is a genuine question i have. Has this forum helped you chose life instead of ctb? If Yes, how?

Somehow yes. In the past, I only saw this website as a means to the end of finally escaping this life. However, now I want to heal and it helps me a lot to be here, to talk to others, maybe even to be able to help others.

 

[Spicy Tteokbokki]

Somehow yes. In the past, I only saw this website as a means to the end of finally escaping this life. However, now I want to heal and it helps me a lot to be here, to talk to others, maybe even to be able to help others.

Ironically the more time I spend here, the more I get worried this site will get shut down eventually and I'll have nowhere to go when I get into my more depressive phases in life, where people can relate, understand and talk calmy about it without freaking out.

 

[spectraltease]

Ironically the more time I spend here, the more I get worried this site will get shut down eventually and I'll have nowhere to go when I get into my more depressive phases in life, where people can relate, understand and talk calmy about it without freaking out.

I feel you. I also think about it more often, but I think that you could make a second website relatively quickly. But it's of course a money thing.

 

[Spicy Tteokbokki]

I feel you. I also think about it more often, but I think that you could make a second website relatively quickly. But it's of course a money thing.

I am mainly worried about state actors and laws etc trying to shut down sites like these because "it makes people kill themselves!!"
Money you can at least work around, but it's way harder to have a site running that's hosting content a lot of people don't want you to see or talk about.

 

[spectraltease]

I am mainly worried about state actors and laws etc trying to shut down sites like these because "it makes people kill themselves!!"
Money you can at least work around, but it's way harder to have a site running that's hosting content a lot of people don't want you to see or talk about.

Thats a good point. I think it's hard to make a law and you can host the Website in another Country where it's allowed. The people what using it, can use a VPN to access the site. No worries, everything will be fine.

 

[derekWest]

it helps me to know how ctb without too much suffer. it allow me to get a real choice between live or die. former monday, i decide to live... i hope i will not regret this decision

 

[spectraltease]

it helps me to know how ctb without too much suffer. it allow me to get a real choice between live or die. former monday, i decide to live... i hope i will not regret this decision

I hope too. Your life matters to us all.

 

[Rymrgand]

Indeed. I wouldn't say I'm choosing life (I'm also preparing my potential suicide with SaSu's help) but being here is helping me a lot to live. The community is really supportive, even with failures like me, and it's making me feel better. I'm still suicidal, but I'm definitely less suicidal than before.

 

[OhWellDerp321]

It helped delay it for certain. I mean, this is what the haters of this site don't understand. They see this site as pro suicide. Which it is not.

It's the only place that you can share your views or vent on suicide without being judge or thrown in a psych ward.

They say therapy is a place for no judgement and a place where you can build trust and share the truth.
But what happens when you say you want to suicide? You get judged and told that it is wrong. You can even get thrown in a psych ward.
But I thought "I was telling the truth".

Without the site, I would have ctb a long time ago without a place to vent.

 

[yousaidimsweet]

in some ways yes. when i joined i was probably at my lowest moments, wasn't in therapy, barely reached out to friends, and wanted ANYONE to understand what i was going through. i got some much needed advice from this site (a user encouraged me to go to therapy, which is rocky but i know will ultimately stabilize me in the end) and people for once just empathized with me. people just listened and heard me, even if they didn't reply. that's all i needed. i can't exactly talk about my suicidal ideation in detail with my therapist (for obvious reasons lol) but here i can. though i know i should limit my time on this site, as i don't really, truly want to CTB, i just want someone to care for me.