My sex drive disappears when I'm depressed but I see no problems with that. Like someone else in this thread, the idea of sex or being intimate with someone terrifies me. I would rather not have a sex drive tbh. I still crave human connection when I'm not depressed but the thought of actually getting intimate with someone freaks me out.
When I was with my long-distance ex (I would do long distance on purpose due to my fear), I tried to voice these concerns but she just ignored them and eventually forgot. Every sexual thing we did caused a ton of anxiety and I hated it. Hating my skinny body and not knowing how to fix it at the time also contributed to this. I think a lot of it stemmed from my parents making fun of me and my brother whenever we even got close to girls when we were younger (ex. my mom made relationship jokes about my brother for years just because he was friends with a girl) but a lot of other things (like going to an all boys' school) have contributed to it as well.
In regards to helping someone who's had something traumatizing happen to them surrounding sex, idk to be honest.. I guess just take it slow and communicate. Depending on the person, they might try to push forward with doing something that they feel uncomfortable doing because you want it; constant communication could help you realize what's happening and slow things down for their sake. I can only speak from my own experiences and that's all I have, srry
