Grief is unfixable

[PuppyCatTeeth]

I'm 19 and have struggled with depression, self-harm, and suicidal thoughts. Things got even worse after my grandma passed away from cancer. Just a month later, my mom was diagnosed with cancer and only lived for a few more months. The loss of my mom has been the hardest. No amount of therapy or medication can help me

I was part of a partial hospitalization program for a few weeks, but it only made me feel worse. People there would complain about things like their mom making them do chores, while mine was dead.

Since my mom died, my dad has become abusive. Today, without any warning, he brought his new girlfriend over. I have a boyfriend, but he doesn't seem to understand what I'm going through. I feel like I can't genuinely connect with anyone; I always feel like an alien just watching everyone else.

It's not that I don't have friends, or that I'm not in a relationship, or that Im ugly. Before my mom died, I had everything I thought I wanted, yet I still wanted to die. Now, I feel like I've seen everything life has to offer, and I'm done.

The only thing keeping me here is my little sister. I love my boyfriend, but lately, I've just felt annoyed by him and don't even feel like talking. Therapists tell me things I already know, and it feels like a waste of time. I feel like I've tried everything.

 

[invalidrev]

I can relate to you exactly. Grief is indeed unfixable esp the loss of mother

 

[J&L383]

Grief is very very difficult. You're not alone in that regard.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand just wanting to be gone, existence really is too cruel to me. But anyway I wish you the best.