Venting Got back from a funeral.

[time.is.near]

I hate my parents. They've never raised me. My grandpa got sick, and instead of my dad going to see his dad, he had every excuse not to go. He said he "found a ride" before we left, and then told us when he was otw this morning bc the service was at 10 am. We offered him a ride, literally everything, he just had to ride along. Before the service i called him to see where he was. "In route" is what he said. He hasn't even left yet. Im sick of it. Drugs are more important to him than anything else. Im sick of feeling hate and depressed because of feeling like a bad person for being mad at him. Not only this situation, im TIRED of everything else. No one actually cares about me. It was an open casket service and he looked scary. I was just thinking about how I'd look, and that nothing would matter because my brain would shut off and everything I've done and lived for has NO. purpose. The world keeps spinning whether I decide to keep living or not. You guys are genuinely the only people that can understand where im coming from. Seeing him lay on that table, motionless, no life, Just really solidified this fact for me.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

First I'm sorry for your loss. I hate open caskets. I also find it creepy and the whole embalming process that goes into it. The deceased never look good in my opinion. I prefer immediate cremation for myself. You are right, the world will go on with or without you. But you can still find purpose or meaning in the present moment. Like when you take a vacation somewhere nice, eventually it ends but you still went.