V
VanHeineken
Experienced
- Apr 10, 2018
- 270
You will be missed. I hope you find peace, my friend.
Well, this is it. I'm elated, but also a little nervous. Guilty and tears are never far behind, either.
I've checked into a 5-star hotel in a city 50 miles away from home. I'm on a suite in the 16th floor. My suicide backpack is by my side, with all needed supplies.
Tomorrow at 8AM (Brasilia time) I'll be taking the stat dose of antiemetics. At 9AM I'll drink the N, chase it with chocolate and brandy, and hopefully oblivion will come soon after. It's not a complicated method - the major hurdle is obtaining the N. There'll be no liveblogging of the "event"; I want to spend my last hours alone, focused on the task at hand.
I'm proud to have been accepted as part of this community. I have much more in common with this bunch of misfits than with anyone I know in real life.
I won't be naming specific members whose posts/company I've enjoyed the most, because there are so many of you, and I'm bound to forget a few. But your kind words have helped me carry on through this month and a half, while everything else just fell apart.
I'll drop by later tonight, I think. Anyway, goodbye and thanks for everything. I hope this community persists for a long time, helping those in need. And who knows, maybe the laws will become saner in the future, and allow us the right to freely choose our destinies.
I'm a little overwhelmed here. So many of your posts put a smile on my face... I'm glad to have contributed something to the community. I've learned a lot from people here, and broadened my perspective.
This is my last time on the site. Now I'll clear my internet history, disable Touch ID on all devices, put them on airplane mode. 10 hours from now I'll ctb. I need to spend this time in solitude. Thanks for all the wishes, they are much appreciated.
As my last message here, I'll leave a small note to my ex, if she ever finds out about this place. This is unlikely, but stranger things have happened (and she'll know the username to look for). Even if she never reads it, I leave it as a tribute, which one day will be swallowed by the cybervoid.
Sther, meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me (arguably the only really good thing). I love you more than anything in the world, and I'll love you to the very end. Being with you made me a better man, and you always managed to make me feel like a better person. I hope you find your happiness, and achieve everything that was denied to me in life. You are worthy of so much more.